One of the hardest things I had to learn about love, angel-style, is that it doesn’t mean I will please everyone else. Over and over the angels worked with me to see how throughout my life I had tried to make everyone else happy whether or not that meant sacrificing my own well-being, finances, balance, etc. Like many of us, I learned, not so much in words, but through cultural programming, that love was what we feel for one another and what we do for one another.
Love, according to the angels is so much more – an acknoweldgement from the Divine light within me that the Divine light exists within me and all souls – no matter how I am feeling or acting, and no matter how they are feeling or acting.
The angels say love is a state of being in which all things are allowed to be who they are. That’s not so easy when something you need conflicts with something someone else needs. This is usually where we drop into the adrenal fight or flight response – defending our right to be, or withdrawning timidly from the situation. Although those responses are conditioned, neither is necessary. We can learn to be kind and loving as well as honest with each other at much deeper levels. I never lied, or so I thought, but in truth I was not always deeply honest with myself and therefore everyone else in my life. I used to have a terrible time expressing my own heart if it meant disappointing someone else.
The angels taught me that we can risk disappointing another if we have the trust that God has a bigger plan that includes taking care of everyone…even if we are not the instrument of that care at the time. While that sounds easy, given our programming it isn’t always.
Last week a dear family member asked me if he could pay me to redo his website. I able technically able to do these things. But quite honestly I’m max’ed out in terms of what else I can add to my life and still stay in balance. So in spite of a desire to help and the ability to do so, I had to kindly decline. Athough I know this person still loves me, I know it was disappointing for them. But I had to maintain my own personal integrity and well being. I know this dear one will end up using one of the referrals he has and will end up with a beautiful website. I also know that someone else who can use the work will receive it. And I will maintain balance in life. So was this love… to have to disappoint someone I care about? The angels would say yes, because it was kind, honest, and without any defense or flight whatsoever.
When you find yourself in a challenging situation in which you might have to disappoint another, start by being honest with yourself. Then with love and compassion, without fight or flight, be honest with the other person. It is then their choice to love you still or not… you have already done your job and found that fine line between loving yourself, and loving the other. We all have a right to “be” exactly as we are. We all have a right to want what we want… and when we are honest our interactions become more clear, honest, and loving as well.
I hope you all had a beautiuful Thanksgiving. I am thankful for all of you 🙂