In the words of the old Britney Spears song, “Oops I did it again.” As a spiritual teacher, you think I’d learn. As a channel for energy that sometimes creates miracles, it is embarrassing. Nonetheless, once again I stood in a huge flow of energy, experienced an intense emotional release from many lifetimes, got impatient with the tears, and stopped the flow. Within hours I had another case of twisted intestines and was in excruciating pain.
I had to resist the urge to beat myself up and criticize myself. I had to resist the urge to despair that another week of my life would be spent healing from one poor choice. I had to stop, breathe, and trust the journey once again because when you’re in that dire a physical condition and you don’t want to run to the emergency room to be operated on, the mandate becomes “trust or bust” – literally.
As the spasms of pain gripped me, fear started to grip me too. Even though I’ve been through this before I wasn’t sure I had the strength to go through it again. Luckily I know that when we don’t know how, God does. I quieted my mind, got intensely present, and prayed. “Dear God, I don’t know how to do this. You do. I trust you. Show me how to surrender to this and heal completely. I breathed again and relaxed as deeply as I could into the Presence of love.”
The idea to put a prayer request on Facebook popped in my head. I did and hundreds of dear souls started sending me energy. Another idea to contact a dear friend who calms me and makes me laugh popped in my head. I asked to interrupt his busy schedule for a phone conversation and felt intensely comforted. I got over the old reservations about not wanting to “bother” people, and not wanting to “ask for help” and immediately began to feel a mental strength that I knew would get me through the adventure.
Of course I healed. I just kept relaxing and surrendering to my guidance in the moment. Within two days I was able to gaze for myself and started healing much more quickly. Within a week I was eating again. Strangely, without food or sleep for about five days I was more energized and alive than I’d been in ages.
I experiened quite tangibly a beautiful truth – When fear loses its grip and we get intensely present, we are most strongly plugged into the source of all energy, all love, and all solutions.
While this certainly wasn’t a fun way to grow, the lessons learned have already changed the way I’m living. I’m trusting even more deeply than before, surrendering to the present even more deeply, and as a result, intensely energized and happy with my life.
There are situations in life which force us to face our fears head on so we can at long last surrender into deeper levels of embracing truth, trusting the Divine, and ultimately knowing how deeply we are loved and guided.
Here are a few tips to face fears this week…
1. Get present
When something starts to alarm you – be it a bill, the state of the world, or a physical condition – stop your mind from running out into the future. Fear is all about what might happen, not what is happening right now. Look around and notice your surroundings. Count your blessings. Acknowledge what is good right here and now. Fear can’t possess you in the present.
2. Remind yourself – “When I don’t know how, God does”
Fear has more power when we feel alone to solve our challenges but in truth the entire universe is there to assist. When we don’t know to solve something, the Source does. Take a breath, drop into your heart, and ask, “What next? What now?” and listen to those little urgings.
3. Know you are ready for a breakthrough into greater power
When fear comes up it simply means that you are ready to break through an old limitation, illusion, or pattern. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” then change it to “What am I creating?” Be powerful. Intend what you desire, not what you fear. Strengthen your mind by constantly refocusing on what you want.
When I was sick last week I spent a lot of time in meditation remembering what it felt like to feel good until my brain and body started to respond.
There’s a lot of fear going around due to the state of the world. We need not allow it to possess us. Instead we can face our fears and walk right through them into a more powerful, healthy, and happy reality! I am happy to be alive and well once again!