Totally embarrassing. I did it again. I let a nasty energy surprise me, freak me out, and twisted my intestines late last week. Not fun for a spiritual teacher to admit she hasn’t quite learned a lesson. Nonetheless, although it would have been easier to whine and feel sorry for myself, as painful, and un-fun as the situation was, I did as the angels preach, and asked myself, “OK, what did I learn? Where is the love?”
For starters I’m learning to swim in some really big energies that require me to listen to my guidance, body, mind, and heart impeccably. I was guided not to open up the website of a person who has been very unkind to me in the past. I clearly heard the guidance strongly right before I did, “Don’t go there,” Yet driven by curiosity, I didn’t listen. A powerfully negative force came at me in such a startling way that it affected my entire body. I woke up the next morning looking like a walrus and in deep pain. I’ve been there before, and I know how to heal. Dear souls came forth to pray and offer assistance, but I took most of the time in silence to look at myself and to really dig into the areas in my life where I was still letting old patterns that don’t work,hurt me or hold me back.
About four days into this adventure, while still in pain, and hadn’t eaten or slept much, etc., something guided me to go outdoors. By this time I was listening to every little nuance of guidance! “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad!” I heard the angels singing the quote in my head that I knew so well from my childhood. I felt it to the core of my being. Yes, it was a beautiful spring day. Yes I was in pain but so what! Look at those roses blooming! Look at the primrose. Listen to the birds. Feel the wet grace even as I waddled around. The sun was warm. The breeze cool. Let us rejoice and be glad indeed! I was alive! Suddenly Love flooded me. I felt joyous in spite of the discomfort and knew healing was on the way. Love does cure all.
So by all means, when things get tough, give yourself time for a human reaction, then as soon as you are ready, willing, and able, find the love. It colors your life with grace.