I’ve been really happy lately, and of course, that means I’ve been finding a few souls along my path that challenge me to remain a loving person. I was at a spiritual gathering a month ago that was simply delightful. The room was wonderfully alive and uplifted as the angels spoke through a friend. Then a man in the audience spoke up and the energy in the room plummeted as he heckled the angels, his voice tinged with sarcasm and arrogance. I am usually able to shrug such things off but on this day, I felt my temperature and irritation rising. I had the feeling when I woke up that morning that I was in for some big spiritual growth. Now the opportunity was right in front of me. I usually just allow these angry souls to be. But today it was not going to be authentic for me to remain silent. I felt like I would burst if I didn’t say something to him. I wanted to honor myself, and I also knew he had a right to be. I prayed with all the sincerity in my hear t to allow whatever was needing to happen here, to happen with grace and kindness.
A bit of history is in order here. I’ve known this soul in past lives. 350 years ago he was responsible for cutting off my tongue and having his band of pirates rape me. I used to have vivid memories and nightmares of that lifetime, but that has long since stopped. After all, that was then and this was now! I wasn’t holding grudge for prior lifetimes! Friends and I have worked with fragments of his soul in the other planes, trying to help him into the light, in the hopes of helping him find peace this lifetime. Unfortunately in all dimensions he remains stubborn, convinced he knows it all, while all the rest of us see his heart screaming out in pain, now knowing truly and deeply that he is worthy of God’s love. We see beneath his façade, while he vehemently defends it. I realized as I was praying to know what to say, this soul was part of our soul family and we just wanted him to know that the angels and God really loved him. That was what I needed to say. That love was what wanted to burst through me. My irritation just stemmed from the fact that we had all worked so hard to help him through the centuries and he still didn’t get it.
So after the meeting I went up to him. He knows me and he knows our past life history. “You know the angels love you so much,” I said. “We do too.” “Yeah I know,” he said rudely. Out of my mouth came (kindly thank God), “then why must you play such games with the angels and try to make them prove themselves. They love you.” He turned to me rudely and said, “Give it a rest.”
His words were straight from his soul to mine. I breathed them in. “Give it a rest!” “YES!” my soul screamed to me. “Give it a rest! Stop trying to save him Ann! Stop trying to convince him of God’s love! Let him think whatever he wants and let him be whoever he wants to be. Withdraw your energy. Move away. Give it a rest!” In that moment I truly and deeply gave up the need to fix, save, or convince anyone of God’s love. Of course, I’ll keep proclaiming for all those who want to hear, but something finally shifted in me and I no longer had the need to “convince” anyone.
“Thank you! ” I said to him. “I’ve needed to hear that for centuries. I WILL give it a rest. I wish you all the best. I hope you come to know God really loves you some day. Thank you for the lessons. I’m cutting all karmic ties between us, and I release you to your own Thank you so much!”
I turned my back to him and erased his personality from my existence while wishing his soul all the best. As if I were sucking in strands of spaghetti, I pulled in all the roots and tentacles of my energy that I have invested in this man’s lives in every dimension of space an time, sent him love, cut the cords, and gave him back to God.
I hadn’t realized this soul had so much impact on my life. I rarely saw him, had more interaction with him in past lives, and didn’t think of him often. Nonetheless, this angry, arrogant soul, was the one who finally helped me realize the futility of trying to “fix” or “save” someone who doesn’t want it. He gave me a great gift, and I do still hold love for his soul in my heart and the hope that he someday really gets to know God’s love.
A week later, after a long period without such things I received a vicious piece of hate mail from someone who found my website and had differing beliefs. It didn’t even rattle me. I replied simply, “Thank you for sharing your views with us. All the best.” I didn’t have any need to defend my goodness, nor any need to convince this unkind soul about the truth of my heart. He can figure it out what life is about on his own. Not only did I not breathe in his hatred, I was able to return kindness. Best of all I felt joyful after this interaction because I didn’t waver from my loving truth!
For years, the angels have said that love always feels better. Now I know what they mean. It DOES feel better to love, but I didn’t get to this space in my heart over night. I had to learn to love myself. I had to let myself be sad when I am sad, to allow myself to vent I private when upset. I had to look in the mirror when I was sick as a dog and see that there was something beautiful inside. I had to learn to ask for comfort when I felt tired, and to be honest with the world around me.
I’m sure the lessons will continue, but the angels are right. Loving does feel better. Start with yourself and from that space, all else follows.
Have a glorious week and if you aren’t able to come to my seminar today, take a minute to tune in and receive the very loving energy we are sending out!