There is a lot of unpleasantness and unrest both in the world and in human hearts right now. Those that are in pain unconciously seek to create company in their misery. They tug and pull at us both verbally, emotionally, and energetically. I have worked very hard over the years to realize that I can either focus on those tugs and pulls with irritation and upset, or I trust God to guide me as to where my energy is best spent in a loving way.

We don’t have to react to others desires. We can respond to the presence of God’s love and guidance within us instead.

This week, a person who inadvertently triggered a lot of pain in the past contacted me in need of help. In my younger days I would have turned this into a full blown inner drama. I would have had to discuss what had occurred between us. I would have wanted this person to understand the pain I once felt. However, I knew this soul was dealing with something very difficult in life, and that it took a lot of courage to reach out for help. It was not at all in my heart to make things worse.

I also had to resist the old ego-urges to offer more help than was requested. I had to resist the urge to “fix” things. I had to really look within and see if it felt genuinely right for me to help. It did feel right. So I offered the assistance, sent love, and let go of the past.

If we are honest in our interactions with the world, we do not resent them. If we do what genuinely feels truthful and good we feel blessed by the ability to help. If however, we help out of a “should” or a “duty” you might just find yourself feeling burdened or resentful. Those interactions do not come from God’s guidance. They come from ego. So many say, “I want to help, but I’m so tired. I want to give more, but I can’t pay my bills.” I’ve done it! The angels have taught me, however, to give from a full cup, to give when it feels joyous and right, and to avoid the ego-urges to give that come, if we are honest, from needing to feel like “a good person.” I already am a good person, and so are you. Giving doesn’t change that. Giving should come from the heart – the heart of God as expressed in your heart.

The angels always say advise me to look for the love. In this interaction there was plenty in the past history to cause upset. But why would I focus on past pains when instead I could focus on the good. This person like all of us, was doing the best they could and honestly reaching out for love. To revisit the old pains would have been the same as playing my least favorite movie and over and over when, in reality, I have a selection of inspiring shows. We do that kind of thing in our minds all the time! We replay our most unpleasant memories, our worst fears, and our favorite complaints over and over and over… when in reality there is so much good to focus upon as well as so many happy dreams to dream. It is true that by virtue of being on earth there are many things that are unpleasant and some that are downright painful. We can’t escape that. But we can choose not to hit “replay” over and over. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.

It isn’t easy to get to the point where you can walk the fine line between loving self and loving others, but when you get there it is feels really good. You have to impeccably honest with yourself and the world. You have to first focus on the fact that you are a good person and that what you do or don’t do, does not change that. God created you good. Now choose to be good to yourself. Let yourself have your feelings and internal reactions to the world. Do only what feels genuine, and don’t do what doesn’t. It is hard at first to learn to be that honest. We fear rejection, misunderstanding, and pain. But in reality it is far more painful to lose your own center and to disconnect from your own spirit than to lose another. After all, you can only love your neighbor as much as you choose to love yourself!

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