I felt everything as a child. Somewhere along the way, it became overwhelming to be so sensitive. Like many in my generation, we didn’t have the tools to handle strong feelings. We came into this world excited to have a more refined internal compass but, in general, generations prior didn’t know how to help us deal with it. Thankfully, during the last several decades our collective notion of how to handle children’s emotions has radically shifted. There are countless conscious parents now who are raising their children to value and manage their feelings in a productive way. Sadly, many in prior generations learned to stuff them.
I was 28 before I let myself cry after a massive awakening triggered by my Reiki training. Prior to this, I thought my negative feelings were indicators of “weakness.” I glossed them over, stuffed them, or ignored them. All of a sudden I was feeling everything – joyous, angry, sad, frustrated, confused, you name it. A lot of internal guidance came crashing in on me all at once.
I followed the flow. I let myself feel. I let myself really go deep into my own internal awareness and started to actually care about what felt better to me, and not in a superficial way. I started to ask myself, “What do I really want in life,” and as you’ve heard if you’ve been with me awhile I really didn’t know! I only knew I wanted to wake up happy, go to bed grateful, and make a living helping people. Those were the seed that sprouted the life I now live.
I was in a phase of release and didn’t know it. I still didn’t know how valuable my feelings were. I ranted and raved and wished for the external world to change. I wanted my 90-hour workweek to change. I wanted my husband to be more affectionate. I wanted to have more time to do the things I wanted to do. Finally, I surrendered to my desire to feel good in the present moment, all the while allowing myself to dream of more.
I decided to make the best of my current life, to bring as much love into my marriage and my job as possible, and to find satisfaction in the flow of these moments. It was then, and only then, after I followed my feelings to feel better, that guidance told me to quit my engineering career. I enjoyed a year of down-time, gardening, crafting, and writing my first book. It became apparent, as I listened to my feeligs and followed my path that I wasn’t headed in the same direction as my wonderful husband. We loved each other, but we wanted to create completely different futures for our lives.
Once again my feelings were guiding me. I wanted the freedom to pursue my calling. His feelings were guiding him to want a more traditional woman like I used to be and to create a family with her. I knew we could stay together with deep mutual compromise, but thinking about that made me feel like I was in a straight-jacket. Same for him. At first, neither one of us wanted to acknowledge what we felt. I fought my knowing as much as he fought his. We tried not to feel the uncomfortable feelings. We made each other wrong occasionally but more often, too frequently, we made ourselves wrong. It felt lousy.
Finally, I went on a three-day fast to clear my mind. My feelings became crystal clear. At dinner the night I broke my fast, my fortune cookie read, “You should not return to the past to resurrect your old relationship.” Holy $!#&. Once I had aligned with my feelings and therefore my guidance, the entire universe was validating the decision. My husband and I parted with love, friendship, fairness, and good wishes. He married a woman who was like I used to be and created the life he wanted. I moved forward along the path of my own calling and joy.
Countless times I have found myself in these cycles and phases of life, in ways both great and small. There have been career cycles, relationship cycles, project cycles, and even cycles that correspond to my daily to-do list. I don’t really try to analyze or figure out where I am. I just try to feel. I try to pay attention to thoughts that feel good, actions that are inspired, and what I am naturally drawn to do.
I interrupted my own works a few months ago to play and art happened. I may do something with it if I’m inspired in the future. I’m in a huge clean-out phase in my home now, because I don’t feel like the same person I was a few years ago and, as the famous organizer Marie Kondo teaches, I want everything to spark joy. Unfortunately, and I say this with humor, a whole lot still sparks joy! I’m not exactly in a phase of “Swedish Death Cleaning” but that doesn’t matter because I feel happy.
Learning to honor feelings may not come easy. We’ve been taught a huge heap of judgment about them when in truth they’re just indicators. We want to feel good, and we can choose to feel good – not by faking it, but by honestly trying out new thoughts, new focus, and inspired actions. This real moment-by-moment satisfaction is the basis of a 5D life, in which things naturally and easily flow.
Here are a few pointers on how to use your feelings as the guidance they were intended to be:
1. Resist the urge to judge your feelings
Your feelings are indicators of your vibration and guidance on your path. If you push them away you miss valuable information. If you said to your smoke alarm, “I only want to hear your nice purring quiet vibe. I don’t want to hear you screaming at me!” then you’d miss an indication of smoke or danger. While this is a silly analogy, so many of us learned that we were acceptable when quiet and nice and not so much when upset. The angels stop the analogy there. They’re not by any means suggesting we scream at others when alarmed 🙂 They’re simply telling us that where there’s smoke there’s fire, and when you feel bad, something in your life is not helping you create what you want.
Value your feelings without judgment. They help you realize when you’re in or out of the flow.
2. Resist the urge to blame your feelings on the external world
If you make your feelings wrong and blame them on the external world or other people, you are not using them as the natural guidance system they were intended to be.
If you are sitting in your car, and you notice the gas gauge is nearing empty, you’d most likely pull over and refuel soon as possible. It would be a waste of time, and we’d likely we’d run out of fuel, if we keep driving while berating ourselves for forgetting to get gas yesterday, complaining about our spouse who didn’t fill up the tank this week or whining about the traffic. We usually pay attention to our gas gauge without unnecessary drama.
However, so many of us ignore our own internal gas gauge when we’re feeling empty or tired. Have you ever pushed yourself when you felt like resting? Our feelings are like that gas gauge. They tell us when it is natural to keep going, vs. when it’s time to refuel.
Blaming our feelings on others not only prevents you from hearing your own guidance, but often lowers your vibe so much that you pinch yourself off from grace, goodness, and well-being that would otherwise naturally flow into your life.
3. Experience, Expand, and Share Your Good Feelings
When you’re feeling good you’re on track. Let yourself feel your good feelings. When someone criticizes us we can think about it for days, but when someone compliments us we tend to forget a few seconds later. Shift that. Start to really focus on the things in your life that feel healthy, happy, and good to you.
See if you can expand the good feeling by appreciating it, or who/what inspired it. Appreciate yourself. Appreciate your willingness to appreciate! I call this “spinning up.” For example, if I’m stuck in traffic or in a situation I don’t care for, I’ll pick something random and appreciate it until I’m overflowing with loving feelings. Then I start to appreciate everything and everyone else in sight! In no time I’m on a high vibe ride once again.
Share your good feelings. Let your cup runneth over. Pray or emit high vibes for the world. Share your love with someone, or appreciate and lovingly tend to something you own. Tell others what you love about them. Treat your home as a temple and lovingly maintain it. Contribute something to life whether it be positive energy, good thoughts, kind words, or sharing your gifts and talents
By allowing yourself to experience, expand, and share good feelings, you’ll keep them going.
This heavenly understanding of feelings is empowering and useful. When we treat our very natural reactions to life as valuable indicators and guidance, we can learn to quickly shift back to a more joyful reality.
Science even agrees now – showing us that our feelings result from our response to life – from the thoughts we think and the resulting chemical reactions in the brain and body.
This week pay attention to your feelings. They matter. They are your spiritual & biological indicators that help you choose a kinder, happier, more graceful, and harmonious path.
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