I am always interested in what various generations are doing. One of the phrases I love most from a younger generation is, “I’m being me, but hey, you do you, boo!” I love the recognition that we are all supposed to be exactly and only who we are. Easy to say, but many of us were programmed to please.
I’ve stopped pleasing people these past few years. A few have been very displeased and let me know it in a variety of very unpleasant ways. They were my personal trainers! They taught me to stop caring about their opinions of me and care more about God’s opinion of me. They taught me to stop trying to please the un-pleasable. They taught me to live more for my own joy, and to stop trying to prove my heart and love to those who insist I behave as they wish in order to stay in their good graces. I love the souls of these individuals. I see their light, heart, grace, and all that is beautiful and true about them. Since that’s not what they’ve brought into my life, I focus elsewhere.
The angels offer this great advice – “Don’t let the disconnection of others cause you to disconnect from love,” or stated in more conventional terms,“Don’t let the darkness of misunderstanding in others dim your light.”
We get to choose if we stay in love with life or if we let the judgments and opinions of others cause us to fall out of love with ourselves. God loves you as you are. The angels love you without condition. You weren’t designed to fit into everyone’s life or beliefs. You weren’t designed to please anyone else. You were simply designed to be you. As the younger generations say, “You do you boo, and let everyone else do that too.”
The angels taught me that we only get upset with others when their behavior makes it hard for us to remain connected to love. No matter how unthinkable the behaviors of others, no matter how hurtful, what truly aches is our own disconnection. We reclaim our power and joy when we decide to return to a vibration of love. The good news is you don’t have to find the vibration of love by pretending to like those you don’t. You can love yourself. You can pick a random object and love it. You can love your dinner, your bed, your friends, or anyone else. Dial into love again, and the negative behaviors of others won’t phase you.
I once was talking and laughing with a friend while driving up north. We were having a great time even though we were stuck in traffic. The guy in the truck behind me was nearly riding my bumper, hoking and expecting me, I suppose, to levitate above the traffic and get out of his way. When I was finally able to change lanes, he raced past me scowled angrily, and gave me the finger. I was in too good of a mood to care. I waved at him happily, wished him a nice day, and watched him angrily speed up to push against the next car in his way. I was too high and happy to get sucked into his negative space, so he had to stew in it by himself while I enjoyed my day.
I wish I could be this way all the time but I’m a work in progress! Some days it is easy to remain connected to love. Some days, it takes a lot more effort. We’re human and often let others rock our boat, but the moral of the story is – We don’t have to. And when we do the trick to moving forward again is to love yourself where you’re at.
If something or someone angers you, it does. Accept that. The angels taught me to give myself a hug when something hurts and tell myself it’s okay to feel as I do. Even that simple, 10-second act allows love to flow. Oxytocin from the selfie hug starts to soothe the body. We’re no longer fighting ourselves. Self-acceptance is often the love we need to move forward into a kinder space.
Same for sadness. When you’re sad, be sad. Cry. Don’t make yourself wrong. I skipped the Kleenex and wailed into a bath towel I could toss in the wash in the past. The trick is to find love for yourself in the denser emotion. The minute you feel love, you’ll connect with the love that will gently guide you to feel better.
I’ve talked to many people who are feeling things pretty intensely these days. They’ve confessed feeling bad for being “negative” or guilty that they couldn’t find a happy space. So many have told me they make themselves wrong for grieving since others think they should be “over” it. You are who you are in the moment, and that is okay. Give yourself some grace.
I tend to experience things a little in advance of the waves I witness in the human psyche and in my inbox! I recounted how, in mid-July, a big, painful bump suddenly appeared on the top of my head. After asking Jesus if I was dying (He said no, and told me just to let it flow through), I accepted it, accepted myself, and continued enjoying my life. A few weeks later, the earth’s energy moved via a volcanic eruption, and my old energy erupted right out of the top of my head. The bump disappeared! The angels later told me it was just an old “energy knot” (translated tumor!!) moving out. I used to make myself wrong a lot in the past. Now I don’t. The residue of that old vibe released itself quickly since I didn’t block the love by making myself or it wrong. I accepted it, focused on loving my life, and it flowed right on through.
When you choose to love yourself where you are, the stream of love flowing from the Divine carries you forward into happier, healthier, and kinder spaces, no matter what is going on in your life now.
I am who I am in this moment, even as I expand into more. I had a bump on my head in that moment. I wanted to live in that moment. I wanted to enjoy life in that moment. I did. The bump left.
I am who I am in this moment, even as I expand into more. Someone assassinated my character. t first, I felt compassion, but after a while, I felt hurt. I didn’t like it. I focused on what I wanted. I want kind people in my life. I want to feel good. I accepted myself as is. I focused on things and people that felt good. The unpleasantness melts from my mind and disappears. Compassion returns. No one else has changed. I just embraced myself with love, and love flowed to me and through me.
So no matter what you’re going through and how you feel now, relax, breathe, and try not to fight yourself these days. Try to accept yourself as you are. A mighty force of love is flowing to us and attempting to flow through us. If we accept ourselves with love, it can flow unimpeded. As an oft-quoted line from the old TV show Star Trek say, “Resistance is futile!” Love will win.
Here are a few tips to help you embrace your authentic self and remain open to the fast moving stream of love:
1. Embrace yourself, as you are, in the present
The deepest, truest authentic you is love. We may or may not feel that love in a given moment. You may be happy, sad, upset, frustrated, hopeful, sick, vigorous; you name it. Be that. Be kind to yourself. Stop saying, “I shouldn’t be” and instead invoke the name of God given to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.”
You are who you are right here and now, which is okay. That doesn’t mean you want to stay this way necessarily. It simply means you are no longer “should-ing” yourself, making yourself wrong, criticizing yourself, or viewing yourself as anything less than a being deserving of love and acceptance. It means if you’re tired, you rest. If you’re hungry you eat. If you’re upset you can have a holy rant in private with your angels and work it out. If you’re sad, you cry. If you’re excited, do a happy dance or call someone and celebrate. If you’re hopeful dream. Just be you as best you can be in a given moment.
If you can practice this level of true self-acceptance, your life and heart will move towards greater love naturally and organically.
2. Trust your feelings
If something feels loving and good, it is in that moment. If it doesn’t, it isn’t. Start trusting your feelings more. If you have a choice, imagine both outcomes and see which one feels better. If you need to pick an outfit, see how it feels on you. If you have to make a financial decision, sit with both choices and, of course, be informed but consider your feelings as well.
Your soul speaks to you via energy. The divine and angels communicate via energy. As you receive this energy, it turns into thoughts or feelings. You know what feels good, right, and uplifting. You also know what feels bad or wrong. We can talk ourselves out of our feelings, but they are there if you pay attention. Practice by looking around and simply observing people, things, or situations. Notice your feelings as you do.
Your good or bad feelings are not judgments. They are guidance. They let you know what resonates with you, or not, in the present moment.
3. Are you pleasing yourself or trying to please others?
While we love the approval, attention, and acknowledgment of others, it is detrimental to our health, happiness, and future if we seek this approval while ignoring our own hearts. If you do something to please someone else and it doesn’t satisfy you, you are sending a vibration to the universe that says, “I don’t believe I am worthy of love unless I earn it. I don’t believe I can get a good job unless I fit an image others want. I don’t believe I can have the money unless I bend over backward. I don’t believe I’m a good person unless I make everyone else happy.”
According to vibrational law you get the reflection of those subtle energetic transmissions in the form of people who expect you to bend over backward to please them, jobs that expect blood, sweat, and tears, and other unpleasant situations where you must set your own well-being aside to fit in or satisfy a demand. Not fun.
Far better to be honest with yourself and the world. Be real about who you are in job interviews and first dates. Be honest with your friends and close relationships about how you feel, but do it with love and kindness, not in a way that makes it wrong. Admit your strengths and weaknesses when appropriate without shame. You are who you are.
While it is beautiful when we can authentically please others, don’t do it while displeasing yourself. As the angels like to say,”Sometimes the fine art of saying ‘no’ in a thoughtful way is also the fine art of saying yes to the Divine within.”
It can take a while to change old habits. It takes time to get more honest with ourselves and to be honest with others. It takes a bit of courage at first to let your “yes” be “yes” and your “no” be “no.” It takes changing a habit to accept yourself when you’re in a space someone else taught you was unacceptable.
Nonetheless, you are loved here and now exactly as you are. The Divine and the angels don’t ask us to be anything else. And if the creator of universes is okay with you and me, right here and now as we are, perhaps we can be OK with ourselves too.
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