You do you boo!

The angel message today reminds me of the Mel Robbins book, Let Them. I haven’t read it, but from what clients have told me, it is all about what the angels call “Live and let live.” Let others do what they want, think what they want, and even believe what they want about you. Let them say what they will, do what they feel is right for themselves, and relieve yourself of the burden of trying to change people who don’t want to change.

Many of you have heard this story. Years ago, I was crying about how to get my family to understand me. I had recently quit engineering, separated from my husband, and was now psychic in the window at a local bookstore. I felt my calling, but I was scared and doubtful about whether or not I could make it. They mirrored my insecurities right back to me. Mom was concerned about my soul. Dad wanted to make sure I could make a living. In every conversation, I felt terribly misunderstood. And one night, I had a meltdown, crying, talking to my angels, and, of course, the most loving being I knew. “Jesus! How do I get them to understand me?”

I’m not sure I was expecting an immediate reply, but he appeared right in front of me. He looked at me, smiled gently, then said with great love and firmness, “Stop it.”

I stopped my tears midstream. I switched off my “poor-me” vibe immediately. He continued, “Stop trying to get people to understand you. They will understand your love.”

Game. Changer. Forever.

In that moment, I was given a truth that has affected my whole life. I don’t have to have anyone else understand my beliefs. I just have to be the loving person I am, and they’ll understand my love. Since then, I’ve spoken with people I both admire and don’t enjoy. I’ve had interactions with people who debunk psychics and unhinged souls who hated on me for not showing up in their lives as they wished. And I’ve interacted with countless amazing, loving, kind souls too. But ever since then, I’ve worked on just being the loving soul that I am, and with only a few exceptions in this life, most souls get my love even if they totally disagree with me.

Just this week, I had to catch myself again. As we watch the wildfires burning in Canada, my heart just went out to the people, the animals, and the forests whose lives were being turned upside down. My instinct was to pray, check on those I know up north, and imagine gentle, soaking rains as often as possible. So when I heard some of the insensitive comments being thrown around in the news, I had an uncharacteristic moment of pure disgust. I wished with all my heart they’d put fire suits on the whiners and send them to the front lines with the brave firefighters who risk life and limb to contain these infernos.

As I was fuming, a decorative sign fell off my kitchen wall with a bang! “Love is served here” suddenly released itself from the hanger it had been on for years. I got the memo. I have asked my guides to interrupt me when I wobble. It was time to serve up some love again!

So I removed my focus from the unkind comments and started to pray for all. I went back to my meditations. I imagined gentle, soaking rains and asked others to join me. I may not agree with everyone, but I don’t have to stop “serving up love” because of it!

We are always going to have people with whom we don’t see eye to eye. I have a family visit coming up soon, and I found out that one family member will let me be near their kids only if I don’t tell them what I do for a living. I’m fine with that. They are entitled to their beliefs. When asked once, I simply answered honestly, “I help people deal with their life’s challenges.” “Oh, like a counselor?” one asked. “Yes, very much like that.” I let it rest. I know who I am. It doesn’t matter to me what others think. As long as I show up as the loving person I am, I’m fine with me.

Speaking of seeing eye to eye, because I will see family soon, I want to see family—literally! I decided to interrupt my vision rehab and just got new contacts for the time being. I’ve made progress but honestly need to be far more consistent with my exercises. I love my eye doctor. It was great to see her again. She comes from science, and I live in woo-woo-land, but we get along beautifully.

During the exam, she told me that one eye had become fairly rigid. Her assessment was that it was probably due to a growing cataract. I heard the angels in my head reminding me I’d been a little too rigid in terms of not wanting to see some unkind behaviors on Earth these past few years! And I sit most of the day staring at a computer with fixed, rigid focus. I know I need to get up and do my focus exercises more consistently.

We were all completely right in the context of our own paradigms. I know what to do spiritually and physically. She knows what to do scientifically. I told her I’d be more diligent with my exercises. She replied that she wasn’t sure that would work. I answered respectfully, “Well, I can’t promise I can fix it, but there’s no harm in trying.”

She has seen me do it before, so she just smiled. “Absolutely, and I’m here if you need me.”

We didn’t see “eye to eye” on probable outcomes, but we were in perfect alignment with our desire to love and support one another. I left weirdly happy. I was glad to finally be motivated to be consistent in my alignment and eye exercises and use my nightly home-brew solution. And I’m going to be more diligent in shifting my energy the moment I catch myself uptight about something I’d rather not see in the world. Instead, I’ll bless the mess and set my sights on what I do love to look at.

Within two hours of the appointment, my stiff and stubborn eye was moving freely. I did my yoga and my eye exercises and was already “seeing” minor results. I am singing to myself, “I know that this will be more fun, now that I’m doing what needs to be done!” The angels taught me to make up little rhymes to amuse myself that serve as vibe boosters to help my manifestations. It will be fun.

There will always be people in the world with whom we don’t see eye to eye. There will always be those who do everything from misunderstand to attack to assassinate our character. And their opinion of us matters far less than our opinion of ourselves. If you love yourself, they are allowed to think and feel whatever they want. You don’t need approval. And while we all enjoy being understood, if we understand ourselves, we can grant that understanding to others without needing them to “get” us.

If we manage our own minds and moods, we can manage those who don’t manage their own!

Here are a few pointers to help you stay in your center when you run into one of life’s difficult characters.

1.  You Can Love and Acknowledge Without Agreement

We don’t have to agree with people who insist we do. We don’t have to argue or defend our egos, beliefs, or positions. We can just acknowledge their perspective and either share kindly or silently maintain our own.

Years ago, a family member expressed their concern about my beliefs and suggested I study their religious materials. I respectfully shared that I honored their path to God and their relationship with God and wouldn’t think of imposing my view on them. I then told them that they could accept me or have me leave them alone. Two choices. You do you. Accept me without agreement, or lose me in your life. Period. I had control only over myself.

We now get along beautifully. We have different beliefs but the same heart. We value service and kindness. And we accept without agreement. Had this person chosen not to accept me as I was, I would have respectfully bowed out of the interaction. Happily, I didn’t have to.

So we can give others the gift of acknowledging their path, make it OK for them to disagree, and let the cards fall where they may. The point is that we can be the loving ones no matter what anyone else chooses, and remaining true to our inner compass feels much better than wobbling away from it for the sake of being “right.”

2. Flow Love

This is what has kept me from burning out after three decades of doing readings and sitting with people through their most painful and challenging situations. I let the love flow through me to them, even while they share their pain. I care. I feel the angels’ love. I focus on listening, understanding, and allowing the angels to guide our interactions with their immense love. My job is to love and remain open, to avoid judging, to avoid the “need to fix,” and to simply trust the process of channeling.

In my personal life, I often imagine light flowing into my crown chakra—the top of my head—and out through my heart to someone who is having a rough day or a rough life. As I flow love, I have no need to “protect my energy” or talk them out of their pain. I can be with someone who is upset or insistent and often diffuse the upset simply by flowing love.

3. Become a Card-Carrying Member of Martyrs Anonymous!

OK, so I’m kidding. There is, to my knowledge, no such organization, but truthfully, the martyr syndrome runs deep in many of us lightworkers because we want others to know our love and will go to great lengths—often putting our own well-being last—to demonstrate that love. Martyr syndrome occurs in very loving and well-meaning individuals, and, as the angels say, it is far better to err on the side of being “too” loving, but it is even better to remember to love ourselves too, in balance.

And a funny thing happens when we stop being martyrs and start being more honest about when we really feel inspired to help versus when we don’t—we no longer have to get upset at people who want things from us. We can graciously say yes or no, content in the fact that we don’t have to prove our love. We already know we care.We’re growing and caring for ourselves in greater balance too. If someone understands that, it is wonderful. If not, perhaps they need to grow out of their own feelings of being a martyr or, on the flip side, an overly demanding person.

In any case, authenticity feels wonderful. Being centered in our own truth conserves energy.

Lately, I’m weirdly happy most of the time, often for no apparent reason. I just like life. I’ve stopped worrying about what others think. I know everything is, as Abraham-Hicks says, “figureoutable!” SImple things provide great pleasure. I am coaxing a weekly supply of itty-bitty cherry tomatoes out of the garden and have discovered the joy of harvesting and drying basil flowers, which are just as good as the leaves.

I still run into life’s characters. There are people who tailgate and honk at me, and want me to to drive at illegal speeds. I smile and bless them and go the limit while they fume and race around me. There are people in line who want agreement about the sordid state of the world. I just smile and say, “Bless the mess and look at the rest,” and my Disney-ish personality usually makes them laugh. I have a few family members who sometimes misunderstand me and get defensive, so I take a breath, listen, and rephrase my last sentence so we connect more deeply.

Life is going to be life. People are going to be who they are. And the only thing I can control is being who I truly am.

Weirdly, wonderfully, that is working well and is more than enough! And you are more than enough, exactly as you are too.

So, as the kids like to say, “You do you, boo. I’ll do me. If you like it, stay. If you don’t, find someone else.” And in that reality, we’ll all find our place in this glorious, wild, and wonderful puzzle of human life.