Like so many of us, I was raised with an unspoken belief that we had to earn love. It has taken me years to unearth and uproot that belief. It has often been painful. The freedom of returning to seeing only innocence in myself and others, however, is worth every bit of the tough growth I’ve been through.
Lately I’ve had the privilege of running into two breathtakingly beautiful pregnant women – both of whom lost their young boys at an early age, and both of whom know with conviction that these souls are returning to their families for a long healthy, human life. These two ladies glow. You can feel their soul’s understanding of the perfection of life as they are filled with their babies’ radiant love and wisdom.
Every time I see a baby, I see this perfection in their eyes as well. They know who they are. They’re fresh from God, fresh from heaven, fresh from a desire to come to earth and create and lighten up life.
We are all still that perfect and pure whether we forgot it or not. There is nothing – no act, no deed, no perpetrator, no victim, that can diminish the light inside of us. Life and others can make us forget who we are, but we are still that light nonetheless. It has never been extinguished. It hides, but it is patiently waiting to surface at all times.
I’ll never forget helping a younger woman who had been date-raped at a party the night before. I had left early so needless to say a friend and I were sickened when we heard what had happened. He and I immediately decided to go to the rescue when she reached out to us. I channeled the angels, “You are pure. You are perfect. You did nothing wrong. You are not responsible for the actions of others.” I nearly cried. She sat there, with only a few tears in her eyes but mostly catatonic.
Often I “see” the unseen, the unspoken, and unacknowledged emotions down to their core. I could see her beating herself up for having too much to drink. I could see the childhood abuse of the rapist that caused him to want to feel powerful in his inner child’s illusion of powerlessness. I could see her childhood verbal abuse that led her to feel she deserved unkind treatment for a single error in judgment. I could see the family “demon” so to speak, of the rapist – the abject self-hatred passed down his family line, that had infiltrated her aura. It was latching on to her own prior, unacknowledged, self-loathing, like velcro… I knew we could shift his.
I hugged her like a child. I looked into her eyes and let God and the angels speak. “You are pure. You are perfect. You did nothing wrong.” I held her. “You’re going to be OK.” My friend who did energy work watched carefully. At one point she relaxed into my arms. “You are pure.” Sobs came. Feelings of just needing to be loved and protected… At that instant my friend saw the opening in her aura, flooded her with light and got the dark clouds of self-loathing – both hers and his – to move right on out.
She gulped for air, sobbing. The lights came back on in her eyes. I saw her soul’s strength return. “It wasn’t my fault!” she declared angrily. Her awareness of the purity and force of life inside was returning. “I’m not going to settle for this!” I saw her soul light on fire. I saw a soul, who for lifetimes had not taken back her power, who had felt at some deep level that she deserved the painful treatment she had stumbled into. She looked at me, “What next?” She had already called the police. We advised her to work with the legal system. She did take back her power and went on to live an amazingly powerful and empowering life.
Conversely I had a client who worked as a therapist in the prison system with sexual predators. In readings she asked me what had turned them into the monsters they had become. I looked through God’s eyes and saw the light within their souls that had retreated into darkness by the unthinkable abuse they had endured as well. It doesn’t ever make the act right when you see through God’s eyes, but it does give one the opportunity to be a healer. She worked with them to remind them that they were more than they had endured, and more than they had become. She didn’t try to save them from the consequences of their actions, but she did bring the light of God’s grace into the terrible, unspeakable darkness they felt within themselves. She saved souls.
The innocence is always there. We don’t always have others to remind us, but we can find it in ourselves, no matter what we have done or what others have done to us.
Here are some pointers this week to help you remember your perfection and innocence…
1. Make a serious effort to stop criticizing yourself
Babies and pure young children never criticize themselves. They make a “mistake,” laugh, say “oops” and get on with life. We learn self-criticism from others who either hated themselves and projected it on to us, or from others who were self-critical. It is an old, bad, habit.
To break me of it, the angels used to tell me to go to the mirror every time I criticized myself and apologize. I had to look in my eyes and say I was sorry to me. Usually it came out like this, “Sorry,” with about as much feeling as a rebellious child saying, “Whatever!” “Mean it,” the angels would say. I’d take a breath, look in my eyes until I saw the soul I just beat up and say, “I’m sorry” then burst into tears. They had me do this time and again.
Another technique that worked wonders for me was given by the angels. Every time you catch yourself in self criticism, stop and say three nice things about yourself! Put them in a notebook if you like and read them often.
You can kick the self-criticism habit. It just takes persistence to rewire old patterns in the brain.
2. Look for how you are looking for love / same for others…
When you do something you’re less than proud of, ask yourself, “How is this an attempt to find, feel, or share greater love?” Then really dig into yourself and answer it.
If you yell at another, you were frustrated, because you had a desire to be heard, probably because you care about you or them. If you are feeling mean spirited, it is because you hurt and want comfort but are frustrated because you don’t know how to find it.
If another hurts you ask God and the angels to show you their innocence, and to show you what, deep down, the pain that motivated them to do so. This has saved me at times from going down a deep dark hole, when hurt by the angry and jealous actions of others.
Dig deep. If you really pray to see it, you can always find the behavior’s roots in love.
3. Get a picture of yourself as a baby & witness your innocence
Get a picture of yourself as a baby or pure young child. Imagine that this innocent perfect child lives inside of you. They do. Imagine that as you speak to yourself, you speak to this child, so speak tenderly. Imagine when you are hurt and acting out, this child needs love.
The innocent one lives within you. Find him or her. Nurture that piece of your soul with your words or actions. And if someone hurts you, see if you can find and pray for the hurt child inside of them. It works wonders.
I can never put into words, the love I feel that sources and sustains us. I am still human and don’t feel it all the time. When I do I remember in those spaces that we are all pure, perfect, innocent, and simply trying to remember this light inside.