The angels once told me, “Ann every activity is spiritual.” I was complaining that I thought I spent too much time focusing on the human stuff. So this week when I was struggling with what color to paint my back wall I kept their wisdom in mind. The angels told me that a lilac color would make my heart sing. So off to the paint store I went and up on the wall went a glorious bright lilac. I could drown in that color it makes me so happy… but it was not at all what I had envisioned.
I had dreams of having a classy, sophisticated look for my house and yard – a light southwestern color or something along those lines. Yet, nothing pleased me as much as that lilac. I fought myself, trying so hard to find something more sophisticated, acceptable,… normal. I found myself crying on the phone to Jim, “Why can’t I ever be sophisticated? Why can’t I be NORMAL? Why does everything I do end up looking like a child got her crayons out did it?!”
All of the sudden I realized I was flashing back to being age 13 at the bus stop with the pretty girls making me feel small and ugly. Now I understood the REAL dilemma. I was trying to be someone I am not. There is nothing subtle about me. There is nothing neutral about me. There is nothing terribly normal about me. I went into meditation, forgave the little teenage girls who put me down and realized even then I was walking a higher path! Oh the freedom of truly not trying to fit in!
As a humorous postscript, I flipped on the radio the next day still thinking about the joys of being free and painting my wall lilac. The song that I tuned into… I SEE YOUR TRUE COLORS AND THAT’s WHY I LOVE YOU! Go angels 🙂 I laughed with delight.
Be yourself this week in all ways great and small 🙂 Then your soul can be seen and loved by the world!