Like many of us, I grew up witnessing a culture of self-critical women. My mom learned it from her mom, and I learned it from her. I grew up feeling like I had to be perfect, and it wasn’t until I started working with angels that I realized we all, already are – not according to some superficial human standard, but rather in the eyes of God and the angels.
I used to be a “sorry machine” – apologizing for everything in advance to avoid criticism. I used to put myself down very easily. It took years to break those habit patterns. The angels once made me go to the mirror every time I criticized myself, and apologize sincerely!
Finally being around children, animals, and other innocents taught me how to easily return to a natural state of being.
I used to go sit by an outdoor fountain in the summer at one of the local outdoor malls just to work and listen to the screams of delight from the little ones playing gleefully in the water. Each one, clearly, was in tune with their own beautiful nature.
Some gingerly patted the water. Others shrieked and splashed all over. Some sat on the fountains while others ran through so quickly they barely got wet. Some organized little groups while others preferred to play alone. No matter what their personality, these kids were quite comfortable being themselves. They sorted themselves out easily into groups of like mind. Very little adult intervention was required. In a natural state of joy, these souls knew exactly where and with whom they belonged.
I never once saw any of these children criticizing themselves. They showed off. The stuck out their big bellies and bragged. The ones wearing casts sat at the edges and proudly told everyone who walked by what they’d broken. If someone was unhappy they pouted or shouted, and then it was done – no shame, no blame. If they hurt another kid’s feelings, you’d see them stop, think about it, and then go back to make a peace offering.
Kids come to earth already perfect, knowing how to love themselves. I adore watching their very pure interactions. I believe this is the reason that we must “be as a child to enter the kingdom.
When I forget how to love myself, I simply remember the innocent child within and the perfection that lies beneath the surface of all human interactions, mine included!
Here are a few ways you can be kind and loving to yourself this week:
1. Every time you criticize yourself counteract it by giving yourself three genuine compliments.
Every habit takes repetition to break. If you are in the habit of criticizing yourself, catch yourself in the act and give yourself 3 compliments. I still do this and inevitably I feel better, change my vibration and often end up laughing at my own humanity.
2. When you are hard on yourself stop. Treat yourself the way you’d treat a child.
When I get upset, rather than criticizing myself, I talk to the innocent child within, “That’s OK honey! They were hurtful! You have a right to be mad.” Within seconds the anger dissipates. When I become fearful I tell myself, “It’s OK, we have angels. Everything is going to be alright.” When I become sad, I grab a blanket and surround myself with love and warmth. Treat yourself with the same kindness, acceptance, and love you’d give a child. That innocent child still lives within you.
3. Give yourself treats
Every now and then, or better yet often, stop and do something kind for yourself. Treat yourself to a massage, time to read a chapter in a book, or time to daydream. Go get, or cook, a nice dinner and eat by candlelight. Play beautiful music on your commute. Buy yourself flowers. Do anything healthy and uplifting that you’d normally reserve for “special occasions” or for others. Gift yourself with your own love.
Let’s all work to end the cycles of self-abuse and instead embrace a kinder, happier, more self-loving reality!