Do you remember the moment you decided you weren’t lovable? For some it might have been so early in life you can’t remember it. For others it was a well-defined period in time or a moment when something didn’t turn out as you thought it should. For many it was a series of moments that all added up.
We all have many such moments. A person you love leaves via divorce, debt, or disagreement. You feel unlovable. Someone criticizes you. You feel unlovable. You’re spiritual and you got angry so you are disappointed with yourself and not exactly feeling as worthy of love as usual. There are a gazillion reasons we go there.
We may know better, but we don’t always feel it.
I used to blame others for the times I felt unlovable. There were teachers who said I was “too zealous.” In my past I had friends who said I was “too energetic,” “too positive” or God forbid, not what they wanted me to be. When I left engineering – a heartfelt, guided decision someone I thought was a good friend, broke down screaming at me like a wounded child, “How could you leave me?” Never mind that I was following my own life path. There were incidents with parents that my little-kid-mind interpreted as me being unlovable. I could go on. I’m sure you could too.
Nonetheless, the empowerment isn’t in blaming others for us not loving ourselves. It comes from deciding – choosing, one choice at a time, whether we feel it yet or not – to treat ourselves the way we want to be treated. It comes from knowing nothing less than the creator of universes, is living in this physical reality through you and me.
I’ll never forget when that really hit me. You mean God is experiencing everything I do, or more accurately God is in me, as me, allowing me, to drive the bus, and choose the thoughts, beat up the body, get angry, upset, pissy, fearful, and tired, and experience it all while loving me through it? As if I could give my hand free will and love it no matter what it chose to do? Holy… Yes. Holy. I am holy. We can leave off the second word I wanted to say at the time. You are too!
The angels once helped me drive this point home by breaking me of a sad habit of self-criticism. Every time I said something derogatory about myself they’d send me to the mirror, tell me to look in my eyes and apologize to self. So I’d wander to the mirror and say a half-hearted, “Sorry.” Like mothers in my head, the angels would lovingly say, “Mean it.” They’d urge me to look into my own eyes until I felt love and compassion for myself. Tears usually flowed at some point. I started to feel sad about being mean to myself. Eventually I learned to see a greater Self in those eyes.
The more you accept yourself, the less you will drink in the poison of the world’s judgments, and the less you’ll feel a need to judge. If you’re in love you want everyone to feel good. The more you treat yourself with kindness, the softer your expression will be towards others, because it just feels good to feel good.
We can’t stop the virus for others, but we can stop its effects in our own lives. Whether you quarantine, wear a mask or not, what you do is less relevant than whether or not you love yourself to feel safe and comfy – whatever that looks like for you.
We can’t single-handedly stop the entirety of systemic racial issues but we can make sure they end in our own minds, hearts, lives, and thus be a beacon of truth in our own sphere of influence. We can impact the vibration of the entire human race by sharing our love for all equally, starting with love and acceptance of all that lies within ourselves. Start by embracing your own inner diversity with unconditional love and it’ll become easy to embrace external diversity.
We can’t bully or manipulate anyone into agreeing with our political or social viewpoints, but we can love ourselves enough to have our own perspectives and to let others have theirs. No one has more power over you than you. The energy you emit determines your reality and what you attract. The angels once said, “you could have anyone in office, and if everyone prayed for them to have wisdom and focused on their light, they would perform well. No matter who is in office, if you send them hatred, you amplify their negative qualities.” We vote very day with our vibration.
It is easy to get sucked into the world’s vibrations, fears, and arguments right now. I was waking up feeling the static cling every morning until I realized I could change even this. I started to program my awakening the night before by focusing on all things bright and beautiful as I was drifting off to sleep with an intention to wake up feeling wonderful. Now I do.
As we transition to 5D, our energy is more important than our efforts. There is no more powerful energy than loving yourself enough to accept yourself, treat yourself kindly, nurture yourself, and allow yourself to have your own sacred point of view. In this reality we become a powerful, vibrational force of change. Love begets love. As the angels say, we “unclog God’s arteries!”
Here are a few pointers on choosing Self-Love
1. Accept yourself, as you are.
Next time you criticize yourself, shift it and say, “and that’s OK” If you like, add something soothing and kind. Here are a few examples:
“I wasn’t loving, and that’s OK I was doing my best.”
“I feel so lazy. I’m not inspired to do anything, and that’s OK I must need rest.
“I have baked so much I gained 20 lbs, and that’s OK I was comforting myself.”
“I believe in heaven but I feel so sad about a loss, and that’s OK I care.”
“I don’t want to be in fear, but I still am, and that’s OK”
Sometimes I go so far as to hug myself, and say, “That’s OK honey. You’re perfect as you are.”
Self-acceptance gives Divine love a chance to flow in directions other than you might expect.
For example, on my office day last week, I was tired. I had no idea why. I couldn’t write a newsletter if you paid me. I couldn’t think of anything for social media. So I meditated. I napped. I sent energy to people with covid. I prayed for the world. And then without even thinking I wandered outside in the scorching heat to admire the changing clouds.
Suddenly I was running in the house to get my camera and tripod, filming a video of them. It was so beautiful I was inspired to learn just enough about time lapse to speed up 30 minutes of footage to fit one of Robin Miller’s songs. In a few hours I had a soothing video that I uploaded to YouTube and sent to all of you. As I write this, that guided endeavor, based on self-acceptance, on a day when I would have felt “useless” in the past, has given over 700 people a healing dose of peace. God within me, knew better than my ego.
When you accept yourself, you’ll live in a way that is guided by your natural instincts.
2. Compliment yourself more than you criticize
For every self-criticism you catch, give yourself three compliments, and really feel them.
“I should be doing something. I’m so lazy” becomes, “I’m listening to my guidance. I live in perfect flow. I’m so happy I trust God’s timing!”
“I hate when I get angry,” turns into, “I’m so proud of myself for noticing I’d rather not be angry. Most of the time I’m a loving person. I’m so happy I caught myself because I know I’ll do better next time.”
You get the idea… and if you can’t find related compliments, pick random ones! The idea is to talk to yourself as if your best friend came and said, “Someone said something awful to me,” and your job was to build them back up again.
3. Choose good-feeling thoughts.
As much as you can and as often as you can, catch yourself when you don’t feel great, and choose better thoughts. It is self-loving to pick and choose what you focus on since that’s going to tune you into the reality you experience.
We SO resist this because we’ve been trained to focus on what is wrong. Your brain is yours! Your mind belongs to no one but you. You can choose to focus on things that make you feel better.
Not everyone is going to like this. I dearly love some people in my life who are totally sucked into the news at times. I call them only when I’m in the right space to listen and send them love. I focus on the love while they’re focused on fear, and love feels good to me. When I’m not in the mood I choose not to call. When I see all the people in line for food banks, I can be sad, or I can focus on the fact that they’re willing to receive and there are so many willing to give.
When I feel the prickles of the covid vibe trying to move in on me in the middle of the night, I can feel fear or annoyance, or I can say as I humorously do, “Pucker up buttercup! We’re playing in light if you’re playing in my house! Love you. Thanks for transforming the world.” After a few minutes of “Love you, love you, love you, love you” I feel so feisty and good that pretty soon I can’t even feel Creepy Vibe 🙂 After all, it is just a thought-form that has become a thing too. Why not think of love and make that your experience?
I know this is not an easy time. Trust me. I feel the world just as much as you do. I think of something and feel it. In a way that’s been a blessing in disguise.
The world has become my personal trainer, guiding me to think better thoughts, and feel better feelings, so I can lovingly treat myself to a kinder reality than the outer reality tries to dictate!
You can do this too. Self-love is the key. From there, we become lovers from the inside out, that shine the light on an external world in need.
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