Every time the angels use the buffet analogy it reminds me of sixth-grade soccer camp! I went with a group of kids from my neighborhood to the College of William and Mary where we enjoyed a few weeks of freedom at a children’s soccer camp. I don’t remember much about the soccer (except for my cool shin pads) but I do remember the freedom at mealtime when we were cut loose in the college’s cafeteria to eat as we wished.
The first few days were spent binging on sodas, sweets, and foods that we weren’t allowed to eat as often at home. Within a few days, our bodies let us know what we really needed and we switched to enjoying our freedom far more responsibly – as in responsive to our bodies, rather than our little inner sixth grade rebels! The weird cocktail mixture of all the sodas at the soda fountain quickly lost its appeal! It wasn’t long before we were eating real food and drinking nutritious beverages before eating one dessert. We recalibrated quickly and easily to our natural, healthy state of being.
Funny how easy it was back then to adjust to taking in only what we truly wanted and what was good for us. The rebellion didn’t last long. We weren’t trying to please anyone. Fight or flight wasn’t as much fun as simply feeling good! Then we grew up, learned to please everyone else, and ignore our own hearts until it became unbearable to do so. Eventually, at some point in the soul’s existence, we get to a spot where we can’t ignore our hearts. It comes through crisis usually – illness, divorce, death, or some cataclysmic event in which ignoring our own heart simply becomes too painful. In my case, the wake-up came in my late twenties when, like Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote, “Eat, Pray, Love,” I realized I wasn’t living my own life at all. I was living the life I was told I should live. That created all sorts of emotional trauma and tough growth as I peeled away the shoulds and got reacquainted with my own heart.
I’ve learned since that it doesn’t have to be so hard. The angels taught me to pay attention to my feelings. When I do I recalibrate quickly towards my own joy. When I ignore them, the physical or emotional pain intensifies until it eventually gets my attention, and I return to my own heart-centered life.
I reached that point before Christmas. In my desire to help so many people, I ignored my own feelings till my fingers froze, my social media got hacked and my computer crashed. That got my attention! It didn’t have to be so dramatic but I sometimes, still to this day, fall prey to the tugs and pulls of all who want help rather than staying in my own center and truly helping from that higher vibe. No permanent harm done 🙂 I heeded the wake-up call. The fingers are healing. I’m joyful again, and back to living and serving from my own soul-centered, higher vibe. I’ll eventually get back to social media when guided. I’m living from the heart again.
You can’t please everyone, but you can please the Divine within who is always calling you on the path of joy. Right now, there are so many souls in the world who want everyone and everything external to themselves to change, without wanting to change themselves from the inside out. There are many strong opinions out there about what you should do, who you should believe, what you should eat, how you should think, what is necessary to be healthy and happy… and the list goes on.
The guidance that the angels give us is much simpler: Listen to the whispers of Divine guidance from within. The Divine speaks to you with those little whispers in your heart that say, “This feels right to me – for me. This feels comforting, soothing, inspiring, joyful, natural. This feels like the most loving choice… for me.”
If you truly honor the the Divine guidance from within, then the opinions and ideas of others are irrelevant to your journey unless they resonate with what you feel naturally, from the inside out.
Here are a few tips to help you discern your own guidance from the energetic tugs and pulls of others
1. Take a little time in silent presence each day
It is infinitely helpful to take a few minutes in silence each day, to reconnect with the Source of life and love itself. It might be a few minutes of silent meditation, a cup of coffee or tea on the patio, a brisk walk around the block at lunch, 60 seconds of quietly observing and appreciating something on your desk, or a breath of fresh air looking at the night sky. Your quiet time might be enjoying the cascade of water in the shower, or a few deep breaths before work. Any time spent in silence, when you are fully present, brings you back in connection with the Divine and your own soul.
I once had a mystical experience while folding laundry. I was enjoying the fresh smell of the soft towels, the color on the walls, and the warmth of the room, when suddenly I was flooded with a love beyond words and felt my being expanding into infinity, at one with the cosmos. There were no words for the love that I melted into and felt at one with. When I came back to normal reality, I couldn’t help but ask the angels, “That happened while folding laundry? Really? Not in ecstatic meditation. Not in church. Not out in nature… but folding towels?” “You were fully present, loving the moment in pure silent being,” they responded. “That’s when you feel eternity.”
A few minutes of silent presence, while they might not always lead to a mystical experience, do reconnect you with your true, loving nature, and enable you to make far more heart-centered loving choices throughout the day.
2. Ask yourself often, “How do I feel”
It is easy to think you know how you feel. That’s a funny thing to think about. We think we know how we feel? But how do you really feel? Try to get more honest with yourself throughout the day. Ask yourself, “How do I really feel.” Wait. Don’t answer the question with your mind. Check in with your body, and with that part of you that doesn’t lie to yourself.
If you feel good, great! You are choosing thoughts, actions, beliefs that align with your soul. If you don’t feel good, you’re choosing some thought, action, or belief that does not align with your soul and all the good that God is trying to guide you towards. In the second case, ask yourself, “Can I find a thought that feels better? Can I do something that feels better?” Try to care about how you feel and choose – from the inside out – to find a thought, act, or belief that feels better…even a little bit at a time.
3. Give yourself permission not to please everyone
We all want to make it easier for those around us to be happy. We love people. We want people to be happy. However, when “loving” another starts to mean you have to compromise on your own guidance, and your own heart’s whispers, the angels have taught me to think twice.
There have been many times I’ve displeased others in order to listen to my own inner compass. Can you imagine my parent’s shock when their normal daughter announced her divorce, quitting her career and becoming a psychic? However, as a result of our decision to simply be ourselves, and love each other as we are, we have grown beautifully close over the years. My own brother had a very hard time with my beliefs and we had to really have some tough conversations until we agreed to live and let live, and now we only love. When I quit engineering one of my best friends yelled and cried, “How can you leave me?” She wrote me out of her life because I was following my bliss! We could have simply continued to meet for lunch!
I followed my bliss nonetheless. I have, as a result, lost people along the way who professed to love me… as long as I did what they wanted! I let go. In time I attracted a group of amazing friends who place no conditions upon our relationships whatsoever. We live and let live. We take responsibility for our own joy. We give as guided and receive when inspired. We don’t need to chat regularly or check in with each other unless we’re inspired. We don’t require each others’ validation or approval, although that often comes naturally. The relationships flow organically. When I stopped trying to please others I found people who were pleased with who I truly am.
When you start honoring the Divine guidance within, you may lose people in your life but you’ll attract those who really love the real you, and that is ultimately a far more satisfying, and authentic way to live.
The world is tugging and pulling at us, and many groups are vying for our attention, agreement, validation, etc. Nonetheless, each of us has our own God-given guidance and it is simply what feels right, natural, and joyful in the moment, to you, for you… one moment after the next.
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