I once spoke at a conference where Anita Moorjani was also speaking. I loved her spirit instantly. She is a near-death survivor who wrote a fantastic book called, “Dying to be Me.” She recounts how, in the light, she saw that everything she ever felt and did was right for her journey. Every near death survivor I’ve listened to has talked about the “rightness” of every little thing they experienced on earth. In plain English, we can’t really screw it up. Love wins in the end. The question is simply whether or not we’re going to enjoy the journey along the way.
I was very clear about many of my truths as a teenager. I argued for them often, not yet realizing that everyone else had their own. Later in my late twenties when I got divorced, I went through intense shame and guilt until I realized that my very good husband and I simply weren’t being called along compatible paths. We both found great peace in a long and loving conversation where we admitted our own personal truths. He was being called towards a traditional life and family and wanted a woman who felt the same. I was being called towards a life of spiritual service and self-discovery, and the person I am now. The paths and desires did not coincide, but our hearts did when we shared our truths with love, respect, and kindness. I went on my path to live a life I love. So did he. The truth we shared was love.
Many times, on the surface, my truth is not even the same as that of dear friends. We respect that about one another. I know many wonderful people in the medical profession. I used to scare them when I encountered physical challenges and decided to heal them myself. Over time, as we shared our hearts, I came to deeply respect their understanding of the medical paradigm, while they found a deep respect for my immersion in the energetic paradigm. No one forces anything on anyone else. We share ideas, and support one another along the paths we choose. My own father is a brilliant scientist. For years we argued our “truths” until we both grew and realized that each one of us is like the proverbial blind men looking at the elephant – each bearing witness to a much greater reality through our individual lens. Our conversations now are stimulating, expansive, and above all, deeply loving.
It is possible to be right for yourself without needing anyone else on earth to agree. Vibrationally speaking if you focus on what you believe in and what you love you’ll be guided to people and situations that support you in your truth and you’ll feel yourself guided away from those who don’t. It isn’t about being absolutely right and wrong any more than nature would insist on one thing in the forest being better than another. We all have our place. We all have our supportive environments and people, and as well those not-so-supportive. It is only our job to listen to our inner guidance, and to find the path right for us one moment at a time. The more we’re right within ourselves, the more we allow others to be right for themselves. This, ultimately is the greatest peace.
Here are a few pointers to embrace your truth without making others wrong…
1. Know your Truth. Take time to connect with it.
We are spoon-fed “truths” and ideas from the moment we’re born. We witness our family’s truths. We hear our school’s truths. We absorb religious truths. We hear various “truths” on the news. With this bombardment of energies and opinions, it is essential to take quiet time on a regular basis, to drop into our hearts, and ask ourselves, “What is my truth?” Sometimes you know the answer easily. Other times you must breathe deeply and dig deeper, and ask yourself, one option by one, what resonates with me?
If you are confused, write down all the possible “truths” on a subject that you can think of. Then look at each one at a time and say, “I believe XXX. XXX is right for me.” Pay attention to your stomach. Things that resonate will make your stomach feel relaxed or neutral. Things that are not your truth will give you a tight or uncomfortable feelings.
2. Find ways to communicate your truth as an offering
Some topics you’ll never discuss. Others you might want to share. Before you find yourself in a confrontation or argument, practice speaking your truth with love. “I’m not asking you to agree, but just want to share why I believe what I do, then I’ll be very interested in hearing your perspective….” If you speak with a desire to simply share a perspective that is right for you, rather than to be right for everyone else involved, the conversations can be handled with love and respect.
3. Know when to remain silent and/or walk away
If someone insists on being right and won’t agree to disagree then listen in silence, seek to understand, or walk away. I once had to tell someone I loved dearly, “I don’t expect you to agree with me. I respect that your path is right for you, and wouldn’t dream of telling you to change. If you’re honestly can’t allow me a path that is right for me, I’ll still love you but we won’t be talking anymore.” I loved this person and would have continued to do so, whether we remained connected or not, but I loved myself too. It didn’t resonate with me to be bullied. Happily, in this case, we worked through it. That isn’t always the outcome, but when you’re right within yourself, you don’t need agreement.
It isn’t always easy figuring out and living our personal truths in a world that bombards us with their own. Silence, presence, and time to connect with self is essential. Living according to our own ideals and standards is essential. If we are happy with ourselves, and comfortable with our own truths, then there’s no need or inclination to argue. There’s no need for agreement or validation.
As long as you are right for you, you’re on the right (for you!) path!
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