Love is the answer to fear

I used to be a very self-righteous, indignant, and religiously-biased young woman. I never would have admitted that in my early twenties. I thought I was right. Words like, “Can you believe that? How could they?” and many more slid easily off my tongue. I, like most of us, was born, brewed, and steeped in the illusions of separation that still mire us down in this school called Earth.

Along the way I had my own challenges. I will never forget that when I got divorced, I looked at the long list of things I had judged and realized I was now living on that list. Slowly but surely I eradicated my judgments, mostly because I didn’t want to become everyone and everything I had once judged! I was trying to avoid more pain. I did. In addition, I grew. I started to seek understanding rather than censure. I started to feel compassion rather than blame. I granted myself these things first and then allowed the goodness to spiral out into the world around me.

As I forgave myself for perceived failures, I easily found compassion for others. As I owned my sadness, my fear, my anger, and my very own humanity, suddenly it became easy to grant others the same. “How could they?” turned into “there but for the grace of God go I.” I started to see our common patterns, our common challenges, our common fears, and our common desires.

The souls I once labeled hypocrites revealed my own hypocrisy. The souls I judged revealed my own judgments. The souls I was angry at revealed my own anger. I turned inward and learned to love myself in “good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.” I started to accept the fact that we are all just trying to do our best, me included.

That’s when the magic started to happen.

I fell in love.

With Life itself.

I fell in love with the Presence of the Divine and the light trying to emerge within myself and then I feel in love with that very same light that lives within all things. I felt it and saw it with my inner being in Nature. I felt it and saw it in my clients. I felt it and saw it even in those we’d label monstrous human beings, buried beneath layers of pain and suffering but nonetheless still trying to emerge.

It started with loving myself.

Love, as we frequently label it in human terms, is a warm, fuzzy feeling generated by the body’s chemistry. It is a fickle function of neurotransmitters triggering pleasure centers in the brain and lasts only about as long as the good feelings last… or are remembered.

Love, as the angels teach it, is a decision, a choice, that we make in each moment to witness the Divinity within ourselves or another. Love is felt when we see beneath the surface dramas and appearances and acknowledging the light of God in all beings. Real love isn’t just a feeling, although it does feel amazing. Real love is a decision we make to accept, and honor ourselves and others as Divine, whether we feel like it or not… and when we do, we feel good.

That kind of love moves mountains. That kind of love says to ourselves that we are worthy of love whether we think so or not; whether we earn it, or not. That kind of love is unconditional, ever-available, generous of spirit, and contagious. That love is who we really are.

So when you catch yourself judging others, choose to love yourself.When you catch yourself in anger, be kind to yourself yourself. When you feel jealous, don’t diminish your own power. Self love is a marvelous tool for connecting with the Divine because the only true Self to love is Divine.

With that connection, suddenly there is nothing to fear any longer. This kind of love calms storms, creates miracles, and protects you no matter what is going on around you. It has done all three in my life.

It can do the same in yours.

Here are some pointers to connect with real, Divine love, for yourself and others, rather than falling into fear…

1. Choose to love yourself when you don’t feel lovable

When you feel less than lovable, give yourself love. Hug yourself – literally. Wrap your arms around yourself and say, “Its OK. I love you,” as if you are talking to a hurt child within who feels badly about him or herself. Tell yourself,”You’re lovable even if you don’t feel like it now. We’ll just keep learning and doing better.”

Grant yourself the love you wish others would… and in time you’ll attract those who do.

2. See past the darkness of the world and bear witness to the light

Imagine you can see beneath the appearances, the wickedness, the dramas, and the monstrous behaviors and witness the hurting children within the souls who seem so bad and scary. Imagine seeing these hurting little children huddled in a corner, fighting to survive, or acting out, only because they are afraid and feel unloved. Imagine going back in time and hugging these hurting little ones. Imagine sending the hurting souls light. Imagine setting those wounded parts of them free.

Be the light of change rather than attacking the problem and you will lose your fear of these individuals.

3. Share this light/love with another in need

Any time you wish to feel the safety of the Divine, offer love. In a space of offering love to another we cannot feel fear. If you smile at the scariest looking soul you meet – that homeless person on the corner, the drug addict walking down the street, your angry boss, or scary ex, you will likely find that they either run away, look away, and avoid you, or smile back. Kindness can transform even the hardest heart. If not, the darkness runs from it.

There are a lot of things in the world that can look scary these days, but there is only one reality beneath it all –  Love. And that love, like lava beneath the rocks is trying to emerge and flow freely in all souls, whether they know it or not, and of course in us. Love yourselves first, and then we can truly become the catalysts for deep, everlasting change.