Sometimes, our toughest classes lead to our greatest joy…
Learning to love someone who hated me and attacked me viscously in spirit the past few years strengthened my soul but it had weakened my body. I had twisted intestines, skin cancer, shingles, and a variety of other unpleasant reminders not to indulge in my own fears. One by one, these healed, but up until a few months ago I was still waking every morning up shaking in fear. The attacks stopped awhile ago but I was still having ptsd-like symptoms.
So, I’d wake up, breathe, do yoga and within a few minutes I had reclaimed peace and calm in the present moment. Nonetheless the constant adrenal stress got me. I decided to go on a mission to master my mind so I could reclaim the vibrant health I used to enjoy before I dove into the tougher lessons.
I give thanks often, but I started giving thanks for everything. I am almost always positive, but I made it a point to catch every negative thought and replace it with better ones. I started focusing relentlessly on my health! I felt fantastic! Celebrating life, joy, and victory I was feeling the best I’ve been in ages, radiantly healthy, joyful, in love with life and everyone in it, and manifesting like crazy… when I found a very hard lump the size of a golf ball in a place lumps should not be.
This was my graduation.
I saw two possible futures – the one the world would dictate, and the one my soul knew was possible. I saw only one lesson no matter which “class” I chose – to eventually embrace the truth of my wholeness and well-being.
Class #1 involved embracing human belief systems, falling into fear, getting medical procedures, and “healing.” Class #2 involved embracing higher truth and thinking no other thoughts than wholeness, acknowledging that we are as much energy as flesh and bone, and seeing only the “reality” that lies beneath all illusions. I chose class #2.
I chose to focus only on my whole and healed self. I chose to acknowledge higher truth – that this was old energy that was simply revealing itself because I was ready to handle it. I chose to believe it would be gone almost instantly. For once, I did not give in to fear at all. I knew I had trained my mind to focus on what I wanted and this was my golden opportunity to put it to work.
I knew (not wished, but knew) that I was made of light and already whole within. I knew my energy could shift and my body could shift in an instant. I’ve witnessed enough miracles. I knew this “lump” was just old sadness I had to “get off my chest.” This was an old illusion I’d harbored for too long – one that said the masculine vibration didn’t nurture the feminine. I had already changed those energies within me. Now the body had to follow. I just had to focus.
I pictured vibrant light emanating from me, and saw this lump of dense energy spiraling into wisps of smoke and dissolving from the surface of my skin. I went to bed knowing I would receive help in my sleep, thinking the humorous thought that if Jesus could resurrect an entire body in three days, certainly this mistaken energy could be out in that time!
I burnt like an furnace was inside of me, all night long. I kept waking up drenched in sweat. I felt prickly, staticy energy pouring out of me. The lump was nearly gone by morning. Through my dear friend Summer Bacon, at her open session the next day the angels confirmed I had indeed allowed for a “miracle.” Three days later it was gone.
We get to choose our lessons with our focus. Focus on fear and that path is well-traveled in this world. Focus on bliss and although the road is sometimes unpaved, what a joy to travel that one! More and more I’m aware of the subtle resistances to joy and well being, and the ever increasing flood of desire for it. It is getting so much easier to acknowledge the joyful desires, and as a result the lessons are so much more joyful!
Here are a few pointers to help you release fear and resistance:
1. When you are afraid, admit it. Don’t be ashamed of it. Ask humans or heaven for help.
There’s a tendency in spiritual crowds to be ashamed of fear. When we look at it rationally, most of the time we know we “shouldn’t” be afraid, that everything is ultimately OK, and that much of our fears are ridiculous. Nonetheless, they don’t let go easy. Allow yourself to ask for help. If you don’t have friends you can laugh with, then sit, breathe, and receive the angels help.
Alternately, if you are physically inclined, dance, hike, or exercise. Shake your hands and arms like a dog shaking water off its back! Fear is a constrictive energy and any sort of exercise, dance, or motion will help move it out of your body!
2. Look for the subtle resistance to what you want
Ask yourself, “If life handed me what I wanted tomorrow, what would have to change in me? What would change in my life? How would my relationships change? What would I be focused on instead?” Try to imagine yourself in a reality where you already have what you want… and imagine all the changes as well until you are perfectly comfortable with them. This helps release subtle unconscious resistance
3. Focus relentlessly on a joyful existence.
If you’re sick, focus regularly on what it felt like or would feel like to be radiantly healthy. When I had trouble with skin conditions I focused constantly on what it would feel like to have pure, healthy skin, and now it is true.
If you’re feeling financial lack, give thanks for your abundance. I’ve had a lot of bills this year but I take every chance I get to acknowledge abundance and they keep getting paid. Thank you God for the abundant air! Thank you for abundant food! That you for the rich wealth of colors in the yard! Thank you for the abundantly beauty all around me… The vibration of gratitude IS abundant.
If you’re feeling worried about someone you love imagine them healthy, happy, in a wonderful life. We can energetically “curse” people with worry, but we can also “bless them” by envisioning them healthy and happy.
This is deep work. Choosing our “classes” more consciously is not always easy, but there is such joy when you can own your own mind, release fears and resistance, and allow the universe to love you the way it really wants to!
I wish you a blessed and beautiful week of embracing your soul’s freedom!