I’ve had some intense discussions with the angels about my choices. I’ve asked them how to make better choices when in my opinion I’ve made bad ones! They always answer with love, “It wasn’t a bad choice, Ann. It didn’t give you the outcome you desired, but you did your best, you learned, and now you can start creating again with a greater understanding.”
For example, in my thirties, after a relationship in which someone cheated on me, I jumped into the next one because the man pressured me, and although I didn’t have feelings for him, I didn’t want to hurt him, and wished I could be in love. I lied to myself. “Maybe this can work. He seems nice.” “Angels will I grow in this relationship?” I asked. I didn’t ask them if I’d be happy. Something in me already knew. I didn’t want to hear the answer.
They answered what I’d asked. “You will indeed grow. He’ll release his childhood anger and you’ll learn to honor your own heart, and not to take things personally. You’ll be together about three years.”
If I was who I am now, I would have run! Instead the needy, wishful thinking, wanting validation, version of Ann that I was then dove headlong into the relationship.
He did release all his childhood anger on me. I did learn to honor my heart and not to take things personally. When I finally became honest with myself, and started speaking up a bit more, asking for kindness, he dumped me. It was nearly three years to the day. I did learn. I did grow. Yet, I was flaming mad at the angels!
“Why didn’t you tell me this would be so miserable?” I demanded of the angels. They answered with great tenderness. “You didn’t ask. You already knew and you didn’t want to hear it.” I became quiet. They were right. “You tried to fit something you already knew wasn’t what you wanted. You tried to make something work that you already knew didn’t. You didn’t want to look at that three years ago.” They were right. I didn’t.
More humbly I asked, “So if my entire lesson was learning not to take things personally and learning to honor my own heart, then… Well, you mean to tell me if I had just rejected his advances right away, up front, honored my own heart, and let him deal with his own feelings of rejection, rather than me feeling guilty, then I would have learned this three-year lesson… in ONE day?” I sighed internally. I already knew what they’d say. “Yes.” What an eye opener!
We get to make many choices in life. The more honest we are with ourselves in the moment, the easier the choices, and the kinder the outcomes will be.
So, was it a “bad” choice? I don’t think so. I needed the growth or I would have made a “better” one. I learned, grew, and have been happier ever since. He and I made peace and celebrated the growth. My “bad choice” actually turned out to be one of the most educational and liberating experiences of my life.
So often, I meet people who beat themselves up for their choices in the past because they didn’t get the outcomes they desire. In sessions the angels always lovingly point out how they have grown in wisdom, love, self-love, compassion, strength, or any other number of beautiful ways. The angels proceed to tell them how they can create what they really want, starting in the present.
You are never too old, too sick, too poor, too ignorant, or too whatever to create the essence of your desires, starting from this very moment.
So, as the angels like to say, let us all live, learn, grow, and get going on our next creations!
Here are a few pointers to help you choose kindly, and to move forward even when you don’t…
1. Be honest with yourself in the moment
When you have to make a choice, consider your options. See if one feels exciting, compelling, and like you really, really want to make it. That is a definite “yes.” See if one feels heavy, unpleasant, like a duty, a chore, an “I’ll do this really unpleasant thing now to get something better later” kind of choice. That is a definite “no! ”
If you’re unclear, let the choice go. Wait for clarity, even if you lose an opportunity. As one of my dearest clients said years ago, “I get it! If it ain’t a hell YES, its a hell NO!” She was so right! If it feels right now, it is right now. If it doesn’t feel right now, it isn’t right now. When I’m unclear I choose not to decide.
For example, years ago I was offered a radio show that had potential to be nationally syndicated and give me the opportunity to make up to $8000 a week. It sounded amazing! However, it wasn’t on a topic that was my heart’s joy. Nothing about it felt exciting to my soul. I was conflicted. The lure of that income was pretty strong, so I put off the choice until I got clear on my priorities.
I ended up being very honest with myself, and sighed with relief when I referred a friend who was perfect for the job. We were all happy. Could I be richer now? Yes. Could I have a dream home now? Maybe. Would I have been happier? No. I chose the enjoy life’s journey!
2. Listen to your body – Do the gut check
The angels like to say that “the mind can lie to you, but the body never will.” Think of your choices. Pay attention to your stomach. If you feel loose, relaxed, and comfortable, the choice is a kind one. If you feel tense, tight, jittery, or nauseous, the choice is likely an unpleasant one.
The body, especially the gut, tunes into the possible future in the quantum field and knows instantly if it likes the vibration or not!
3. Bless the mess, get on with the rest
If you have made a choice in the past or even recently that has given you an unpleasant outcome, the angels like to say, “Bless the mess, get on with the rest.” Even if you signed a contract that holds you bound, for now, you can start to energetically create the desired future. Look at what you’ve learned. Congratulate yourself for the growth, and immediately start visualizing and feeling into a better future.
Don’t indulge in self-criticism, blame, or any of those other patterns we get into when we can’t control something in the moment. Bless the mess, get on with the rest.
While we all strive to make choices that have happy outcomes, the truth is we’ll all have a happy ending! We may as well make choices that feel good in the moment because we have an eternity of choosing, and now, now, now is the blessed moment in which we experience life on earth. Enjoy the journey and remember, “If it ain’t a hell yes, its a hell no! “
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