I hope you all had a very happy holiday and got a little rest. I know many of you are feeling restless to get on with life. In 2008 the words I heard most often from people are, “I feel stuck. I feel without direction. I feel exhausted.” These comments came in from thousands of people this year. It was indeed a year of going within. It was a year of clearing out the past, learning greater faith, and conserving our energies. I have had years of experience learning to just ‘be’ with the moment and although I’m by no means perfect at it, it sure made this year easier. I just didn’t feel like writing or teaching much so I didn’t write and I didn’t teach. Instead I worked full time with clients, cleaned out the house, did home repairs, and focused on my spirit. I didn’t worry about “producing” or “moving forward.” I focused more on enjoying each moment and remaining true to the guidance in my heart.
Sometimes you have to trust that even when you think you are getting “nowhere” the inner work you are doing is preparing you to accomplish things in the future in a much easier manner. The angels say, “When you’re on a raft in the river, you’re not paddling, but you’re still moving.”
An orange tree sits in my backyard. Every other year it has a huge crop of fruit and there there are years when it produces very little. This was one of the ‘off’ years. All summer I didn’t see a single orange on the tree and didn’t expect any fruit. However, as the seasons changed, all of the sudden several of the fruit started to turn bright and all of the sudden I could see I’d have a small crop after all. The fruit was there all along. It just wasn’t ripe and I couldn’t see it. Life is like that. We do a lot of growing some seasons without seeing results, and then all of the sudden God jumps in your life and everything moves in the direction you were hoping for. The harvest has been growing all along, but you just didn’t see it till now. Trust, that if you have been working hard on your spirit, doing what you know to do in life, and resting when tired, then God will bring you the harvest that you have been preparing for all along as well. Be it a job, a relationship, a more meaningful life, if you do the inner work, the outer will adjust.
I look back and feel like I’ve learned a lot this year. I learned to have greater faith in God’s ability to take care of me. I learned to live in balance and take better care of my physical body, and I learned how to love even those that hate me. That was perhaps the thing I’ve prayed for the most. Its easy to love the people that love you. But when that angry spirit beat me up in May and scared me to pieces, it took a lot of anger and tears before I could turn to love. We have to love ourselves first under all circumstances – there is no compromising on that one. I had to love myself through the anger and pain to find the deeper truth within – that I want all souls to know there is a kind and loving way to live. And it was when I had THAT discussion with the angry soul that he went into the light. I told him how mad I was and how frustrated and how all I wanted was to live in peace and to have him know the true and wonderful nature of his soul. I felt love for his wounded soul and in that moment of me seeing him differently, he saw himself differently and went into the light. He is now a dear friend and spirit guide to me. Doing the inner work led to a profound change in my outer world. I have a whole new level of energetic boundaries, based on love – for myself and others. I feel only love from the spirit world now and there is no longer any mischief.
I’ve never been happier. I want to choose love because being upset feels bad. I want to choose balance because I function more efficiently. I’m not forcing myself to do anything I do not feel like doing. It’s still fairly new for me to live this way, but I love it.
I can’t wait to see wha 2009 brings. I feel a lot of change coming. I’m calling it the year of FLOW because I believe we will want to give and receive as never before. We will want to allow God’s love to flow into our lives in many forms and then out into the world as an act of grace and sharing. It might not be an easy time for the world, but if you rest in faith and in the understanding that you are loved, you can indeed walk in grace.