The past few weeks the in-box was filled with emails from sensitive, loving souls who are having a tough time with the angry vibe in the world. Many had the same question: “How do I be more genuinely loving, when dealing with angry people?”
I was pondering the question and how to answer it in a broader way last weekend, when the sudden urge arose to take a nap in the backyard. The breeze was cool. The birds were singing a sweet serenade and my two hummingbirds were bickering over who owned which half the yard. I slipped into sweet slumber in the warm summer sun, until I was awakened from my reverie by an intense, unpleasant tickling sensation on my left foot.
Opening one eye first, then the other, I saw a wasp – one of those aggressive yellow jackets – dancing on my toes. “Wonderful,” I thought. This was supposed to be a peaceful nap! I couldn’t see him well, so I carefully inched myself over to a low wall and slowly elevated my foot. An awkward yoga-like post allowed me to watch him up close and personal. I tried to remain calm. I knew if he sensed fear, he’d sting.
“Hi there.” I spoke softly, centering in my heart and sending him love. He stopped dancing and looked at me, cocking his head to one side. “I’m not going to hurt you, and I don’t want to scare you, but honestly I don’t want to get stung either. Can you please fly somewhere else.” He looked at me for a second longer, decided I was OK, and then calmly began to give himself a facial! I watched him lick his front feet and rub them down over his face in very much the same manner a cat would. He looked at me, licked his “paws,” rubbed his face, did a little dance and started buzzing and tickling me even more as his wings vibrated at an insanely fast pace. He was apparently having fun exploring my toes and preening. I was not! I forced myself not to move.
“I locked eyes with him again. “Are you ready to go? I don’t think I can stay still much longer?” I sent him a mental picture of flying away. He looked at me, hummed, buzzed, did one more happy dance, washed his face one more time, tilted his head, gave me a quick gaze, they flew off at long last.
I was strangely ecstatic! What a treat to have such a close and yet peaceful encounter with a scary little stinging critter. How I wished we could have such loving interactions more often in the human race! I untwisted from my awkward pose, and went to lay back down, praying all the while. “Thank you God for showing me the perfection of nature’s harmony! Thank you for validating that I can remain calm with the “stingers of life!” “Yeah! I’ve graduated!” I had been praying lately for the spiritual strength to be loving to the souls who felt the need to attack those of us preaching love.
Feeling blissfully satisfied, I flopped my leg back down and immediately felt something sharp jab me beneath the knee. “Ow!” I hollered involuntarily. Appalled, I saw a dark stinger in my leg and flicked it out quickly. “What the?” I was incredulous! I just had this loving interchange with the wasp and now he stings me?
Instead of the wasp, there was a precious little bee, stunned and silent under my leg. I had nearly smashed him and he reacted with a sting. He looked at me and I felt his fear at my loud outburst. “Are you going to kill me?” I heard the thought in my head. “Nooo.” We locked eyes. I felt horrible. It was unbearable to see him start to cower and shake. He wasn’t a honeybee, so I knew he had a chance of living, since some bees actually can live on after they sting, but I wasn’t sure. Gently I scooped him up in a soft leaf and held him in my hands in front of my heart. I felt the warmth and love flowing and at long last laid him down again in the lawn. I turned away for a second in distraction then looked back. He had flown! I was elated. Meanwhile the pain and welt forming on my leg demanded attention so I ran inside to handle that.
“What was that all about?” They angels replied. “The wasp demonstrated that even the most aggressive souls – even those who are easily scared and triggered into angry attacking behaviors – are simply sensitive and easily scared, but if you treat them with kindness, they won’t react with anger. The bee was here to demonstrate that even the sweetest souls can react badly when they’re frightened, but quickly settle down if given love.
“Remember this,” they continued. “Anger comes from fear. Fear begs for the healing power of love.”
I think we all need to remember that right now with tensions on the planet running high. I think we’d all, deep down, rather stay in a loving space than allow ourselves to be sucked into an unpleasant clashing of egos.
There are a lot of sensitive souls who, like a wasp, are angry and on the offensive, because they are fearful and don’t feel in control. There are a lot of sensitive souls who, like the bee, are afraid and are reactive.
Happily there are a lot of us trying to disengage from the dances of anger.
We can either join the dance of reactivity, or we can be the peace.
We can seek to understand rather than insist on being understood.
We can open our minds to learn about others perspectives without having to agree.
In a space of setting ego aside to embrace the soul’s love we can often avoid the sting and instead have a very loving interchange, or at least a respectful and peaceful one. Even if you are stung by someone’s anger, you can withdraw, nurture yourself, vent in a private journal, and then pray for them. It’ll make you feel better than lashing out in return. When loves flows through your heart, whether it is being given or received, you’ll feel and heal your own pain.
As we continue this epic re-birthing people are facing fears, frustrations, and feelings of helplessness that often give rise to angry words and behaviors. Thank God, we don’t have to be at the mercy of the moods of those around us. Although it isn’t always easy, we can deal with these “stingers” in a more peaceful and loving way. It is a bit of inner work to set the ego aside, but as the angels say often, love just feels better.
Here are a few pointers to help you deal with life’s “stingers.”
1. Agree to disagree / Give up the need to be “right”
There is no rule in heaven that ever said, “Thou shalt get everyone to agree with you.” Quite the opposite. The angels call life a buffet and remind us that we weren’t meant to resonate with everyone, or everyone’s ideologies.
The angels have taught me to offer my perspective without attachment to having others agree. When I first became a psychic and many people angrily challenged me and said, “How can you believe that bull$*!?” This was 25 years ago before intuition was mainstream. I replied calmly, “I’ll answer from my own point of view, but I want you to know I’m not trying to force my beliefs on you. I’m just trying to answer your question.” Suddenly they calmed, listened, and even if they disagreed decided I was a kind and well meaning person.
Dialogue with respect, a desire to understand, and agree to disagree.” If a person won’t stop trying to force their views on you, listen, remain silent, and simply remain settled in your own truth. You may even have to kindly walk away. Your point of view is right for you and your soul’s growth. Another’s perspectives are right for themselves.
2. Listen with a desire to understand
The next time someone with different views than your own starts to share their perspective, seek to understand their point of view in a non-confrontational way. The fact that they disagree is not a personal affront. It may threaten your ego but your soul will be thrilled to learn more about who this person’s point of view. The ego craves similarity. The soul craves diversity of experience.
When confronted by people whose views I disagree with, I no longer argue. I don’t need to be right, or even to have them understand me. I’m right for me. I don’t need anyone to agree with my opinions or perspectives, and from that place of internal confidence, I can just listen, ask questions and tell them I want to understand better. I can honestly thank people for helping me see through their eyes.
The world is richer when you can see a diversity of perspectives. None of them invalidate your own and you might just learn something useful. Every soul’s perspectives are right for their growth. Yours are right for you.
We don’t expect animals to agree with, or behave like us. Perhaps we can extend the same curiosity we have about nature’s differences to our human family!
3. Don’t take the stings personally
This one isn’t so easy. If someone aims their anger at you it feels like a personal attack. It may even be one at the surface level. But at a deeper level someone’s upset isn’t about you. See them as the bee or the wasp – a sensitive and frightened soul who is attempting to protect themselves.
They may be in fear about something in their own life, and in their feelings of helplessness, anger allows them to feel temporarily powerful and in control.
They may be afraid you won’t hear their perspectives and get defensive as a result.
They may be afraid that nobody cares about them and their anger is just a venting of pent up pain.
In any case, the angels remind us, that another person’s anger is completely about their reaction to you, not a statement of your worth, value, or the validity of your ideas for you.
If someone is “stinging” you with their anger and you can’t get away, here’s an energy tip. Point your palm to the floor to drain off the intense energy and mentally remind yourself as they rant and rave, “Not about me, don’t have to agree. Not about me, don’t have to agree.” You don’t have to respond. If they ask you what you think, say I think you’re upset and I heard every word you said. Then walk away. Pray for them to be uplifted and to feel better. Anger never feels good.
I hope you are not experiencing the tensions on earth, but if you are, remember the story of the wasp and the bee. If you can see the humans who sting as souls who are sensitive and scared, it is much easier to be compassionate with them, to not take them personally, and often, even to avoid being “stung.”
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