Last week, I forgot to get eggs at the grocery store. After putting away the groceries I had remembered, I hopped back in the car and went to finish my shopping. The day was beautiful and in spite of the extra trip I was happily driving along when a bird suddenly dove in front of my vehicle. I slammed on the brakes but it was too late. The little one lay in the street. Thankfully there was no traffic so I pulled over to check on her. She was in the process of dying. “Oh GOD, what do I do?” I prayed. “Pick her up and send her energy to assist her transition,” was the answer. I gently picked her up, walked to the side of the road, and held her to my heart. The heat began to flow from my hands. Her little talons gripped my shirt and she looked into my eyes before shutting her own and leaving her sweet little feathered body. Crying, I jumped in my car, still holding her little form to my heart with one hand and driving back home with the other.

I surrounded her with leaves and flowers and ran energy to assist any final energies in leaving the body. I prayed for her spirit. “May you always know God’s love no matter what form you take. May you feel my love for you. May you always fly free and feel the joy of being. May any pain you have suffered be erased from your memory.” “Are you free?” I asked, and suddenly I was overwhelmed and surrounded by the love of a soul I can only describe as angelic. “Thank you,” I heard. That did it. I burst into tears.

“Why God?” I asked, being human to my core. I felt her magnificent soul, but why did she have to die by my car? The angels stopped me. “You are learning deeper levels of trust now. We are not going to tell you why. Breathe. Calm down now and start thinking of the infinite number of reasons she may have chosen to die this way.” I stopped sniffling and took a few deep breaths. “She wanted love as she died?” It was more of a question based on past information. The angels once told me that animals came to me to die because they loved to feel my tremendous love on their way out.

“Keep going,” they told me. “Think of other possible reasons.” “She was keeping me from being in an accident by delaying me,” I said, still asking a question. “Keep going.” “She was done with her time on earth and wanted a quick exit.” “She gave me a piece of her beautiful spirit on the way out.” “She was inspiring this newsletter.” It became obvious the angels were not going to divulge the reason, They just kept telling me, to keep going, to keep listing possible reasons for her death. “She took some energy off this planet with her in her death.” “She was a soul who decided to try being a bird and changed her mind.” “She wanted to feel love at a level she never had and knew I would give it to her.” “She was teaching me that even when we don’t have a clue about why something happens, God does.” I had to stop there and cry some more. 

I felt I had stumbled upon the truth. “Maybe it is a combination of many of those things,” the angels gently offered, still not giving me the “answer.” I understood. They want me to trust everything, even when I am too worked up or biased to understand. They want me to stop using my mind to push away the love that is always there, even in tough circumstances, and to trust in God’s great love. They wanted me to trust that every being is in a beautiful dance even when I fail see it. This isn’t easy, but there is purpose to the exercise. I’ve been asking to continue expanding to channel God’s healing energies. If I am attached to anything I will get in the way. If I am viewing anything as less than love, I filter the amount of love that can flow through me. I know this. I have been praying to abide in deeper truths. God is giving me opportunity to do so. 

As I sat contemplating these things, the angelic spirit of the little bird surrounded me again with her love. This time I simply shut my eyes and basked in the love. “Do you have a name,” I asked. “Felicity,” she offered as I felt my heart well up with great joy. I looked up the name later on the Internet. It means “Great Happiness.” 

So this week, do your best. Try to assume that there is love and purpose behind everything even when you don’t understand. And if you need to understand, allow yourself to do the exercise the angels gave me and list off every possible reason something has happened in your life, no matter how crazy it might sound. Then maybe you can call upon this sweet angel teacher of mine, Felicity, and ask her to bring happiness and peace to your heart too.

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