I was at a little cafe the other day. A beautiful woman with two children in a stroller was near the counter looking at the options in case of beverages. She was reading the ingredients and clearly not yet ready to order. So the clerk took my order and filled it while the woman was still deciding. I was leaving when I noticed the woman looking indignant, but saying nothing. In only a matter of minutes, because no one at the counter read her mind and figured out she was ready, she stormed out the door loudly declaring, “I guess nobody wants my business!”
I felt compassion for her because she was clearly exhausted and had given so much in her life to her kids and others that she was empty. Even though I had nothing to do with this I decided to show her a bit of kindness. “Excuse me,” I ran after her. “I didn’t mean to have them take my order first. I didn’t know you were ready to order.” “I wasn’t when you ordered!” she snapped. “May I buy you something,” I asked, knowing she desperately was in need of love. Tears started to show up in her eyes. “No, no, It wasn’t your fault!” she said and ran off, without a drink, without accepting love, with only her own pain, anger, and upset. It was sad.
Had she simply said to the clerk, “I’m ready to order,” it would have been no big deal. Had she allowed me to show her a bit of kindness, she would have had what she wanted plus love and a free beverage. But she clearly felt unloved, unappreciated, and unnoticed, and her own internal pain became a self fulfilling prophecy.
We do that. We sometimes expect disappointment so thoroughly that we don’t ask for what we want. We don’t say “Yes” to our own hearts because to do so would required trusting in ourselves enough to know we have the power to create something magnificent in cooperation with the Divine. We don’t always believe in the goodness of the universe and its ability to help us so we feel rejected, ignored, and discarded.
In my younger days, I complained to the angels that I felt like a “disposable” human being. I gave and gave and no one gave back. I was expecting sympathy, perhaps an award for my martyrdom, and at least a compassionate acknowledgment of my pain from the angels! Instead I got truth! “When do you ask for what you want, Ann? You are always praying for others, putting yourself last. You don’t even ask human beings for help.” Ow. True. As the saying goes, the Truth does set us free. I stopped martyring myself and instead gave only when it was a joy. I started asking for help or consideration when I wanted it. My relationships became much more fulfilling and more honest.
The angels once said that most of us “would rather guarantee disappointment, than risk success.” So this week, take the angel challenge. Drop into your heart and see if there’s something in there that you really want – a situation, a thing, a person, a trip, whatever it is. Just ask your heart… “Show me what I truly desire.” Maybe you already know. Then say, “Yes, I do want that. Dear Divine love, dear angels, clear my blocks, and when you’re ready, show me the next step.” If you get nothing, there’s nothing to do yet. If you get something then do it. You will know when you get guidance. It’ll be clear and easy to understand. If not just enjoy your life… and trust. You’ve given the universe permission to love you!
According to the angels, “We never leave you. But if you don’t leave you, we can love you even more!”