In my younger days I thought being a “spiritual warrior” meant battling the darkness outside of myself. I battled hatred, victimization, bad behaviors, ignorance, self-hatred, and hatred of others. I went on marches to the Capitol. I fought verbal wars to the death, trying to “best” those arguing for hatred, lack, and limitation. I rebelled against corporate employee abuse and wanted to write a book called “When Sheep Turn to Wolves – The rising of the corporate masses.”
With good intentions I attempted to raise others up by battling viewpoints that I thought were dragging them down. I engaged in egoic exchanges with those who attacked my perspectives. I “battled” to empower boyfriends so they’d be kinder to me and happier inside of themselves. I wrote comments after articles trying to enforce a kinder point of view, but not always from a place of kindness! Engaged in these pointless dances of opposition, I attracted the opposition of others even more. These exchanges never felt good for long.
After I started working with angels, I gave up my need to validate my worth and “rightness” by getting everyone else to agree with me. I stopped battlingignorance with my disdain and righteousness, and instead started sharingmore enlightened perspectives which I loved. I stopped focusing on and battling people who used and abused my good nature, and instead learned to love myself, enforce healthy boundaries, and allow myself time with kinder souls.
I gave up my need to be “right” in order to be happy.
I had to learn to love peace more than trying to win a war between egos. I had to learn to take responsibility for my own happiness rather than distracting myself with battles against those who didn’t care about it so much. I had to learn to take responsibility for what I loved and stop wasting my time battling what I didn’t.
“Releasing the battles” can take many forms. You can stop focusing on fixing a person and instead empower them by focusing on their good qualities. You can withdraw from a relationship or a job where there is just too much opposition to make it worth your time. You can turn off programs that inspire an inner battle, instead of inner passion. You can stop trying battling with people in an attempt to make them kinder, and instead be kind to yourself and set healthy boundaries. Instead of battling political ideologies you can share the benefits of what you believe in. Instead of battling world conditions you can’t change, you can empower yourself by changing what you can.
Whether the problem is great or small, solutions appear when we stop the “battle-focus.” I still catch myself in ridiculously silly battles at times. You can laugh… I was struggling in a futile attempt to mix and match paint colors to cover a few spots on the ceiling recently. (I dropped a pot of rice last year and it flew up, stuck to and stained the 12 ft, then rained down on me!) At long last I gave up the battle, left the ladder and mess in the kitchen and went about enjoying life. Two days later I woke up and without thinking walked to a corner of the garage where a can of perfectly matched ceiling paint was sitting in a container I hadn’t seen before. Problem solved.
In another equally silly battle, I’ve been fighting a dishwasher shelf that kept coming off track until I finally gave up the struggle, put my hands on it, sent it love and prayed to find the solution. The next day the entire rack broke off. Amazing I didn’t think of this earlier! I ordered and installed new parts. Problem solved!
There are certainly much bigger battles going on right now on earth.People are struggling to stay alive, save their homes, and pay the bills. The political battles are nothing short of epic. Nonetheless, the less we engage in a fight, and instead simply stand for what’s right, the happier we are, the more powerful we are, and the more we stand as vibrational homing beacons for those wanting a more powerful peaceful world.
You can stand your ground about what you will and won’t accept in your own life without the need to force someone to agree with you. You can, if you are guided, help create social reform from a place of incredibly powerful love. I have clients who are highly effective in doing so with large organizations. There are people who have calmed criminals with Ho’oponopono. Caesar Milan, “The Dog Whisperer” easily trains scared aggressive dogs with a loving “calm assertiveness.” There are countless incredible parents who calmly carry tantrum-throwing two year olds to a timeout without anything other than a loving desire for peace on all parts. Even lost demonic souls can be brought into the light with a love that will not budge from God’s truth. I’ve been that catalyst on more than one occasion.
The real battles are with our own egos, our own fears, our own insecurities that drive us to need to be validated and right.
In truth there is only one battle worth fighting and that is the battle to stay in our own loving integrity, to live and speak as the loving souls we are and stand our ground when we feel guided – lovingly, firmly, and yet with a respect for all involved. No easy feat, I’ll admit, but it can be done!
Here are a few pointers to help you give up the battles without giving up yourself…
1. Start to notice your battles
Awareness is half the battle… pun intended. Sometimes we don’t even see where we’re battling. Are you engaged in trying to educate someone who is resisting your points of view? Are you trying to get someone to take care of themselves the way you’d like to see vs. what they want to do? Are you struggling with something broken around the house? Are you angry and having an internal battle about things that are the way they are, like the pandemic?
Just noticing where you’re fighting in some way will help reveal those areas where you’re moving out of love and into struggle.
2. What would a “soul win” look like?
A soul win feels like love. A soul win feels like happiness, peace, contentment, joy, or one of those higher qualities. We may give up ego gratification for a soul win. We have may have to give up the need to be right in order to be happy. We may have to live and let live and sometimes, leave. Nonetheless, a soul win always creates a feeling of being one’s true self. You feel victorious when you can love in spite of another’s bad behaviors, or another’s hate. You feel in your power!
Imagine what it would like to feel happiness, peace, contentment, joy or one of those higher qualities in a current situation that feels like a battle.
For example, if you’re battling with an ex, what would it feel like to feel peace inside of you? What would it be like to know you’ve stood your ground with love and compassion for both yourself and the other, without hatred or anger? What would it feel like to now whatever he/she says or does you’re not giving into a fight and ultimately you’re creating a kinder reality for all?
Powerful? Peaceful? Probably both. Soul wins don’t rely on another person doing what you want. They are more about maintaining your own integrity, and how you want to feel. They’re your win first.
3. Withdraw when possible
The angels like to say through my friend Summer Bacon, “When you’re in a tug of war, let go of the rope!” Brilliant! No one wins an egoic argument. Let go of the need to be right. Choose to be peaceful, happy, and free instead! How? One kinder thought at a time you shift from the painful, argumentative thoughts, to ones that feel better. Keep asking yourself, “Would I rather be right or happy?”
Giving up the battles isn’t easy. Sometimes we really can’t in the 3D world. But we can always give up the inner struggle and the inner need for others to agree with us.
Being a pacifist does not mean you’re passive. It simply means you act from peace and love. In that vibration you will attract people of like mind and heart, and a much kinder, more joyful experience of reality.
Leave A Comment