Hi Everyone,
I felt the force of life impulsing me strongly this week in so many ways. Some weeks I wait impatiently for a newsletter to arrive or try to make it happen. Some weeks when I’m truly surrendered to my own heart in other areas of life, it just comes flying out of me. This was such a week. I had a strong impulse last weekend to unplug and begin a huge household clean out and organization. After feeling fairly lazy on weekends for the last month or two I was ready to go. My heart sang. Time felt timeless. I found things I’d lost. I passed things that I no longer needed on to people and organizations who did. I put things in more useful places.
My office looks the same from the outside now, but in the closets, drawers, and files there is order and breathing room. Likewise, I may look the same from the outside but in my soul, I feel greater order and breathing room! It may take me another month to do the whole house, but I don’t care. I surrendered to the impulse and it felt good. The newsletter came flying out one day when I wasn’t even trying – the result of truly being in a grace-filled dance of life impulse and surrender. Then two days later the impulse to redo it arose and I surrendered to that as well.
It is easy to surrender to the loving impulses from Source when they align with our comfort zone. It is much harder to do when they fly in the face of our conditioning.
For example, like many of you, I was a born and bred people pleaser. Being “loving” used to mean “making everyone happy” at any cost to myself. The more people abused me, the nicer I tried to be until at long last I got really angry. I never took my anger out on anyone else but the things around me suffered. In my late twenties, I hurled a pair of scissors into a wall when no one was looking. Needless to say, I learned to spackle! I also learned that I didn’t want to punch holes in my own aura with such outbursts. Another time I slammed a drawer and broke it. I learned to repair the drawer, but I also learned that my heart needed repair and TLC at the time too. I didn’t want to slam that shut.
I felt very justified with my anger during those younger years. “It wasn’t my fault! People should be kinder! I’m a good person. I deserve better! How dare they!” I argued with the angels until they finally, lovingly got me to understand that my anger was mine. No one else caused it. It just revealed the areas where I was not yet surrendered to loving myself.
As I cast aside the old protective shell of anger, and the old erroneous beliefs that I had to please everyone else, something magical happened. I started surrendering to the loving impulses within. I started listening to my heart and honoring my own feelings. I filled my cup and then authentically let it spill over. At first, it was uncomfortable. Change often is. Nonetheless, each time I chose to surrender to impulses of the Source within, I felt blissful.
I gave up my feelings of powerlessness and learned to manifest. I learned to love the light within myself, and therefore respect the light within all. My capacity to love and serve increased dramatically.
I still get angry now and then, but it doesn’t last long. I know it is only an indicator that I need to grow and take responsibility for my own reality. If people are unkind to me, I focus on all the beautiful souls in my life. If someone cuts me off in traffic, I focus on how much I enjoy flow. My heart wants to feel good. The Source wants us all to feel good. It’s a choice. This week when my printer broke at an inopportune time, instead of having a tantrum, I just surrendered to my heart, acknowledged the fact I was too busy to research new ones and ordered its identical used twin on eBay.
The reason we’re talking about all this now is that the energy on earth is insanely intense at the moment. The waves of love are a mighty flood of energy that is pushing up within everyone, impulsing us to grow. Frustrations are flying as people face feelings they haven’t faced in years, or sometimes lifetimes. We’re all purging the old – either gracefully or not. Conflicts are running rampant as people still forget their power to create and act out their feelings of being powerless.
In order to surf these intense waves of love rather than resisting them, it is more important than ever to listen to the loving impulses within. It is more important than ever not to give our power to be happy to the external world and to take responsibility for our own joy. The world can have its anger and conflicts, but we can choose our peace. We can surrender to the loving impulses that are our guidance. We can choose to be happy and healthy, to rest when tired and act when inspired, and therefore to be in a harmonious and beautiful partnership with the loving Source within.
Here are a few pointers to help you surrender to the loving impulses of the Source that try to guide you at all times:
1. Don’t fight your own feelings
The Source never judges you… ever. You feel what you feel. If you want to feel differently, surrender to that. “I am upset. I want to feel peace”.” I am sad. I want comfort.” “I am jealous. I want to know my power.”
If you like how you feel surrender to that too. Keep accepting yourself as you are. Keep accepting the way you want to feel. Allow yourself to flow with the natural heart’s desire to feel better and better. When you run into resistance, don’t even resist that! Just observe it and accept a natural flow around it.
For example, you want to feel peace, but you resist. Something in you says, “No! I want to be angry. I have a right to be angry.” So, make peace with your anger. Vent in a safe, healthy way.
Suppose you want to feel happy but you’re sad. Be happy with your sadness. Congratulate yourself for loving something or someone that much.
Suppose you want to feel empowered, but you feel jealous. Be empowered about your jealousy. “I really want what that person has!”
Observe your feelings. Accept them. Acceptance is the opposite of resistance, and it will guide you towards a natural flow of feeling better and better, one more loving step at a time.
2. Be kind to yourself
The kinder you are to yourself, the more easily you will feel the loving impulses from Source. Rest when you’re tired. Eat when you’re hungry. Comfort yourself kindly if someone has been upsetting. Prioritize your joy and your feelings, knowing that in a higher vibe, the impulses from Source will be easier to perceive. Your feelings matter. You matter. Listen. Care for yourself as you’d care for someone you love. This opens you so much more easily to the graceful dance of creation.
3. Look for the path of least resistance
Water tries to move the boulders and if it can’t it finds a path around them. We try to overcome our own resistance to love but when we can’t on a given subject, we can find a way around it elsewhere.
When you find yourself resisting happiness – hanging onto anger, wallowing in self-pity, etc., don’t judge yourself. Just try to find the easiest way around it. If you need comfort, be kind to yourself. If you’re upset, get creative. Throw water balloons. Vacuum vehemently. Exercise. Weed the yard. Watch a great program. Take a walk.
You can, if you get creative, find the easiest way to inch yourself towards better feelings. The more you can surrender to feeling a little better, the quicker you’ll feel a lot better. The natural flow will become unclogged, and you’ll begin to feel your loving impulses once again.
It takes a bit of reprogramming to detach from the world’s impulses and our conditioning in order to listen to the loving impulses within, but it is a wonderful thing to know that you deserve to feel the best you can in a given moment.
Impulse. Surrender… That is the dance of birth, expansion, and creation. Allow yourself to surrender to your desires to feel peace, love, harmony, joy, grace, ease, and abundance, no matter what others or the world is doing. “Birth,” the angels once told me, “was meant to be orgasmic, not painful. It all depends on the degree of resistance”
Our spiritual birthing can be blissful too. The less we resist our desire to think loving thoughts so we can feel loving feelings, so we can emit loving vibrations, the more joy-filled and blissful our lives will be!
Love you all! Bliss be with you!
Ann
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