If someone were to ask me what my biggest accomplishment is so far this lifetime, I would say that has been to choose love, over and ever again, even when it was hard – to love myself when others don’t, to love others when they don’t love themselves enough to be kind, and to really open up to feeling the love of the Divine no matter what is going on in my life. This isn’t easy.

The angels say it all the time. Love feels better. I think most of us would agree, yet there are still times when I am challenged.

Earlier this year, a friend whom I love dearly, reacted to me through the filters and pains of their past. Their defensive energy hurt so badly I nearly shut down. A less sensitive person could have shrugged it off entirely. I’m usually good about not taking things personally. This time, I was completely caught off guard. I felt as if I’d been kicked in the gut.

I wanted to close my heart. I wanted to make my friend wrong. I wanted to make myself wrong for being so sensitive that I allowed anyone to hurt me. Those were superficial wants. I really just wanted my friend know my loving heart.

At first I was too shocked and upset to interact any further. I turned to love where I could find it in its pure form. I sat with the angels and breathed in their love. I hiked for miles and felt the love of nature filling and merging with my being. I focused on gratitude for all the wonderful friends in my life who knew my heart better. I took impeccably good care of myself. I surrendered to the presence of pure Love in meditations and silent gazes.

I did as the angels suggested and asked myself the “courageous questions.” How have I allowed myself to be in this space? Where have I not been honest with myself? What needs to change? I prayed. “Dear God, let me see this through your eyes.”

The prayers were answered. I saw through God’s eyes. I saw the pain of this person’s past and I how I had inadvertently triggered it. I saw both my innocence and theirs. I saw the friendship through God’s eyes too – both the light and growth we had brought to each others’ lives and the times when this individual – innocently and without any intent to hurt me – had treated me in ways that were painful to me, and far less than honoring to my soul. I saw how I had never spoken up.

I knew I had to say something. I could no longer pretend things were OK. When I was finally in a space of peace within myself, I initiated a tough tough, but kind conversation in which we came to greater understanding and compassion. I don’t feel the same about the friendship as I did before. I’ve grown tremendously in the past few months and want kinder treatment, but at least we kept the door open for it, and us, to grow.

The angels have taught me that when one person or one aspect of life doesn’t feel loving, there is still no excuse for feeling unloved. We can find love in so many other wonderful ways, if only we’re willing to look. As the angels like to say with great humor, “Whether love comes from your chair, your chocolate, or your lover… it is always the same vibration of Love!”


Here are a few pointers for keeping your heart open… even when it is hard.

1. Take care of yourself

If someone, or life, is hurtful you may need to pull away for awhile, be kind to yourself, and take time to “nurse your wounds.” Take time in nature. Talk to friends. Sit with your angels. Do things you enjoy. Meditate, pray, or sit in silence. Reconnect with the Divine.

When you tap back into the love that is available in life right here, right now you will no longer require anything from the situation or person that hurt you to feel loved again. From this vantage point you can solve the issue lovingly.

Sometimes this takes effort to look for love when you’re not feeling loved, but the rewards of re-aligning with Love make the effort worthwhile.

2. Pray to see Through God’s Eyes… and mean it 🙂

A sincere prayer to see the innocence of all souls involved in a challenge is always answered. Only the hurting are hurtful, and we are only hurt if we aren’t paying attention to our own needs.

By praying to see the innocence of everyone involved you depersonalize the experience.

You start to feel compassion for self and others. You will start to feel your heart and hear your guidance once again.

3. Make an “I am Loved” List… and let Life Love you!

See if you can list a hundred things that make you feel loved – grand and small. You can list the smell of your coffee, the feel of warm water in the shower, the kindness of a stranger, the warmth of a friend, the eyes of your pet, the blue sky overhead… You get the idea.

Keep your “I am Loved” list where you can see it. Bask in these experiences of love often, especially when you’re in need!

When you have a love affair with life, all less than loving inter-chnages become easier to deal with.


Love is always here, and love heals. Love gives perspective. Love always and eternally seeks to bring us back unto itself.

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