Hi Everyone,
I recently discovered that I had to update my older books to comply with Amazon’s current guidelines. The change was simple, but the logistics of recreating and republishing my books’ print and Kindle versions were not so easy. I ended up purchasing and learning a new program that will make things a lot easier in the future, but that meant that the week before my class in Sedona, I was binge-watching youtube tutorials and going through 600 pages of three books I wrote over a decade ago!
Re-reading my first book, “Whispers of the Spirit,” was a blast to the past. I started as an angry, arrogant young woman in her late twenties who was the epitome of professional success but secretly miserable. I wanted to change my life but didn’t know how. I didn’t know what else I could do for a living or how to get there. That is the cry of so many souls I’ve talked to lately. The book shares my awakening in an authentic and raw manner as I traveled through the hells of my own confusion and self-loathing into the world of angels, guides, and self-love. As I read it, I felt tremendous compassion for the self I once was and huge compassion for all going through this sort of questing right now.
Self-acceptance is like that. It becomes much easier to accept others once you truly accept yourself—the good, the bad, and the ugly. We’re all human. We all experience the gamut of emotions. I’ve had so little self-esteem in my past that I’d get angry when others didn’t validate it. I can understand the hissing and spitting of the angry souls in the world because, in smaller ways, I’ve been angry too. I can understand the struggle for self-love because I’ve been there. I can have compassion for deep grief because I’ve cried my own tears of loss.
Whether or not the topic is the same, the emotions we share are identical. Whether you’ve lost a treasured friend who moved away or suffered the loss of a dear one, you know loss. Whether you’ve hated your ex, a horrendous criminal, or your own appearance in the mirror, you’ve experienced loathing. Whether you’ve laughed at something appropriate or otherwise, you’ve experienced mirth. The topics have different magnitudes, scales, and results, of course, but the emotional experience they inspire within us is shared.
As you accept all within yourself, you give yourself the ability to show compassion and forgiveness to others. The people whose words sting the most simply reveal areas where we have not yet loved ourselves without condition. When we accept ourselves as we are, unkind words roll off like water on a duck’s back. Even when we see some of the most heinous acts in the world—while they hurt to watch and we certainly want solutions—accepting your own humanity helps you avoid the prison of hatred.
We’ll never like certain behaviors. Some go against the very fabric of our spiritual nature. Some will anger us to the day we die. But accepting your own humanity allows you to pray for the upliftment of all rather than falling prey to the darker emotions whose results we witness. The last thing we want is to hate the hateful and wish to hurt the hurtful. If we sink into these vibrations, they’ve won. Better to stay in love with what is lovable, to pray for the upliftment of all, and turn towards empowering the better.
Going against your programming and accepting yourself without condition isn’t always easy. It requires a firm decision to accept yourself when you’re sad, mad, jealous, or vengeful. You have to have compassion for the pain that drives these emotions. The quicker you can find compassion for yourself, the less likely you’ll act out these lesser vibrations and regret it later. You’re doing your best. I’m doing my best. Even the most unpleasant, hateful characters on earth who will die with the blood of millions upon their souls are doing their best right now. It isn’t good.
Their behaviors are unthinkably horrible, but hatred does nothing more than fuel the vibration that drives them to seek love in aberrant ways. Better to pray or turn away. Self-acceptance gives you the power to be in the world, but not of it, to witness its atrocities without falling into hate or even giving up your right to joy.
It does require work to look to the internal rather than blaming the external for our feelings, but freedom is the sweet reward for your effort.
Here are some ways to practice self-acceptance…
1. When you’re feeling good, allow yourself to enjoy it!
This sounds absurd! Why would we not allow ourselves to feel good? However, many of you have had times when things were going so well that you started metaphorically looking over your shoulder, wondering if the other shoe was going to drop if someone was going to interrupt your joy, or if it was ok to feel this good. It is an interesting phenomenon that while we all want success and happiness, it can be uncomfortable until you get used to being treated well and having life flow with ease! It may not yet be familiar. When you feel good, tell yourself that this is your new normal. Not only does the Divine grant you endless permission to enjoy your life as much as you can, rest when you need it, have things come easily, and have magical encounters, this is the way we are ultimately guided to live.
2. When you’re feeling bad, give yourself compassion
When you feel very human – angry, hissy, sad, jealous, vengeful, depressed, fearful, whatever… take a moment, literally give yourself a hug and talk sweetly to the upset child within. “It’s ok, honey. You can be angry. I understand.” The self-hug triggers oxytocin, the bonding chemical that tells the body you are safe and loved. The words comfort the part of you that needs to be loved, heard, and acknowledged. It is a surprisingly easy yet powerful way to slip into self-acceptance. After the feelings calm a little bit, you can even go so far as to say, “I know you are hurt, angry, etc…” but wouldn’t it be more fun to be happy? Ease into this. Be kind to yourself.
3. Use humor when you can
You can’t always do this, but sometimes humor is a wonderful way to lighten up with yourself. Have you ever caught yourself having a fit and just started laughing at how something so small can get you goat? I have. Have you ever been wailing over something and suddenly stepped outside of yourself and witnessed the drama? I have. Here we are—beloved, cherished, adored, comforted, soothed, and guided by angels toward all we want—feeling powerless and throwing tantrums. I’ve been there. I’ve learned to laugh at myself. When I can see myself through the eyes of loving humor, my Divine amnesia is laughable.
Sometimes, however, there’s nothing funny about how you feel. You can find a funny video or ask Siri for a joke that might help you lighten up a little. Youtube has many funny animal videos that will do in a pinch. Humor can shake us out of our seriousness and allow us to see things through different, more compassionate eyes.
Writing this inspired me to ask AI for a joke about being angry. It replied:
Why did the angry person go to the bakery? They kneaded some dough to relieve their stress!
If this isn’t a demo of vibrational law, I don’t know what is. A software program answered my question and unwittingly reminded me that my mom used to bake bread when she was upset! The act of pounding the dough relieved the tension. Which brings me to a fourth idea for self-acceptance…
4. Allow yourself to express the emotion
As you learn to accept your emotions, you find healthy outlets. Bake bread, and knead the dough to relieve tension. Write the letter you will never send and shred it. Get a towel, sob your heart out, and follow the emotional cleanse with a warm blanket and your favorite comforting beverage. Take a shower and wash off the upset, or soak in Epsom salts that purify both body and soul. You can find healthy ways to release nearly any emotion if you get creative.
5. Accept yourself like a dog
Last but not least, my greatest teacher of Self-Acceptance, Lucy the Heavenly Labrador, wanted me to remind you to accept yourself as a dog does!
While looking through photos for this newsletter, Lucy came in strong from the heavens. Tell them to accept themselves as I did! I burst into laughter. She DID accept herself and perfectly so! If she was happy, everyone was supposed to give her attention. If she was mad, she stuck her head under the nearest piece of furniture, and placed her postier right in front of your face! If she was unhappy, you got a very clear scowl. She thought it was hilarious if she was stinky, and if she wanted something, she demanded it—no apology required. The girl was thrilled with herself and just popped into my head volunteering to help any of you in need!
So, if you are trying to accept yourself but having problems, try asking Lucy what she’d do and wait for the humorous but almost certainly helpful canine advice!
Accepting the fact that being human is not an issue or an illness. It’s a condition we eagerly embrace as souls, knowing that the depths will motivate us to create new heights. When we accept ourselves in even the depths, we can learn to reach the heights without having to leave our good-feeling spaces. You deserve your own love!
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