I’ve been really happy lately—not because life is perfect, my body is perfect, or anything is perfect. In fact, I was just typing in my newsletter when the program deleted my last few paragraphs and went nuts on me. We all have plenty of challenges. We all get wobbled. But I’m fueling my joy by doing things that uplift my spirit, taking time to focus on how I want to feel, and looking for things to appreciate everywhere I turn.

I had to get up and walk away from the computer to grab a cup of tea and recalibrate! This is just the nature of life on earth. And whether the things that wobble us or the people that do are large or small, the commitment to taking care of your own well-being—physical, mental, and emotional—is important..

It isn’t the easiest time to be on earth. We feel the currents in the human pool. Earlier in the year, I was walking to my kitchen and suddenly burst into tears of grief. It happened about the same time as the shootings were rocking our nation. Like many of you, I don’t watch the news, but I feel it.

Yesterday, my back was cracking all over the place. Vetebrae were readjusting on their own. I got up from. my desk and had had sciatica for the first time in my life for two hours, then it went away. I should have known. Today Mother Earth is cricking and cracking with devastating earthquakes, volcanoes erupting, and what surely must be a huge internal adjustment in her structure.

The way I handle such sensitivity is to care for myself even before I care for others.  I give myself grace. I’ve taken more naps this year than ever before. I sometimes pare back my schedule to do only what must be done, so I can make time to rest and meditate. I sit every day and focus on how I want to feel in whatever task I have coming up.

It doesn’t take long to get centered in myself once again, feel the life force flowing, and reclaim my joy. A little self-care goes a long way.  It plugs you back into the eternal stream, refuels your energy, and helps you remember that you must be important to yourself in your own life or you can’t give much to anyone else. You’ll burn out. Many of us in helping professions have come close, many times!

By the time I taught my class in June, I couldn’t wait! My passion had returned, and I was on full power!

And thus we entered the phase of recalibrating again…

I had become so passionate about enjoying life again that I did what I sometimes do, and went a little too far…  in this case, with sugar!  My lemon tree gave me 3000 glorious lemons this year, and I made over 20 pints of delicious sugary lemon curd (pudding).  My friends were generous and gave me tons of chocolate for Christmas. And suddenly, happy to be alive, I couldn’t wait to enjoy all of it. The lemon curd came out of the freezer. The chocolate came out of the pantry.  And what went into my body was more sugar every day than I usually eat in a few weeks.  It was a lot of fun…

But then one day I looked in the mirror, and started rolling with laughter at the rolling hills that had “suddenly” appeared around my midsection.Somehow, in a few months, I had transitioned from being the slender soul I have been much of my life into looking like the traditional family dumpling, as the ladies in my lineage joke. I couldn’t stop laughing. All I could think was, “Where did that come from?” Suddenly, the discomfort I’d been feeling around the middle made sense. It never occurred to me that the constant full feeling I had was me being more full of “stored energy”!

There really was no mystery about the extra pounds. I typically eat healthy, natural foods with only a little sugar. And although I don’t have any judgment about weight one way or another, I was no longer comfortable, and I like being comfortable!  I wanted to recalibrate, but haven’t had much time to hike or exercise. And so I sat and thought about how it felt to be my regular shape, just to get in the right vibe, and suddenly recalled a story in Autobiography of a Yogi in which Yogananda thought himself thin. That seemed like the perfect solution!

I put myself on a program twice a day for two to three minutes each. I sat and simply recalled feeling smaller. I remembered the lightness of hopping on rocks in the creek, the feeling of getting dressed without feeling as if I were stuffing one of my larger pillows into a small pillowcase, and how good it felt when I could do endless sit-ups. I recalled the deliciousness of fresh berries, a fresh veggie sauté with lemon and herbs that filled me up so much I didn’t need dessert. I focused on the wonderful feeling of Spirit’s love on my skin that I have been experiencing regularly, and the warmth of the sunshine on my face. I spent those few minutes every day focused on anything that made me feel good being in a body.

Within days, I lost my taste for excess sugar and started craving fruit again. I didn’t even think about chocolate except for my usual two pieces a day. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to get up and do my yoga and sit-ups. And, while I don’t have a scale, I know what I see and feel, and within two weeks, half the additional midsection had disappeared. To make things even better, I started “stumbling” on videos to correct my posture 🙂

This wasn’t rocket science, of course. Less sugar equals fewer calories, but the process did not involve suffering or feeling deprived, as it usually does. I don’t have the bandwidth currently to do my day-long hikes once a week. But simply because I wanted to feel comfortable and was willing to take a few minutes a day to focus on feeling good in a body without worrying about how and when the changes would unfold, the vibrational universe went to work. My brain rewired, my cravings changed, and I’m on the way back to my usual size.

The moral of this story isn’t about weight loss. Iti s more about loving yourself through the heights and the valleys, and simply recalibrating when you’re not pleased. Mine happened in a way natural to me. Some of you might get impelled to see a doctor to get your hormones or thyroid balanced. The guidance is different for each of us, but the commitment to do something self-loving like sitting for a few minutes a day and thinking thoughts that feel good is pretty powerful. If I were obsessively focused on everyone else, I guarantee I would not have made even that little time for myself.

So, whether you feel the weight in your body as I did, or the weight of the world, as so many of us do, the process of lightening up, be it literal or metaphorical, is still the same: start by loving yourself enough to care for your feelings. Make space in your mind for thoughts that feel good and space in your day for things that feel good, no matter how small. Scale is irrelevant. The way you feel is what matters.

And from that commitment, your energy will start to return. Your joy will begin to renew. And your body will be allowed to resurrect itself since that is what bodies are programmed to do, with all the new baby cells being born every second.

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Here are a few things that will help you get your mojo back when you feel tired, overwhelmed, or disconnected, or if you just want to feel a bit more inspired in life:

1.  Grant yourself grace

The angels always insist that the first step on the road back to feeling good is to accept yourself as you are. Stop fighting your natural feelings and healthy instincts. If you’re tired, rest when you can. If you don’t feel like being as “available” as usual, pull back where you can.  Do something that allows an overworked mind to take a breather—get outside, read a book, take a digital reset. Stop trying to live up to others’ expectations or even your own. Don’t try to feel good about things that don’t. Instead, find things that do.

The more we stop fighting ourselves and surrender to what truly feels right in the moment—kind and loving, no matter how small—the more we open up to the flow of life force once again.

2. Get rid of artificial deadlines. Question the to-do list.

So many times, we think we have to get things done when we don’t. And while we might really want to accomplish many tasks, the real must-do list is often much smaller than the want-to-do list. I have things on my list that have been there for a few years, and I haven’t been inspired to handle them yet. I’ll get there. Pushing yourself never feels good.

When you’re feeling a little deflated, it is best to pare the to-do list down to only the real must-dos and let the rest wait till you have more energy or inspiration.

3.Enjoy life’s simple pleasures and focus on what feels good

On the road to inspiration, we have to start small. Enjoy your coffee, or your cat. Enjoy walking your dog or reading a few pages of a good book. Enjoy an interesting video, or shut your eyes at night and feel the relief of “time off.” Walk around your house and enjoy the memories inspired by the objects you have, or enjoy the texture of a blanket on your couch. Make or get a healthy meal and take time to savor the flavor.

Or take a few minutes a day as I often do to focus on how you want to feel. Indulge in a fantasy. Recall a time you felt great and. relive it. Just a few minutes here and there of feeling good does wonders for your spirit and your day.

Start small and simple when you’re trying to rekindle your spark. Little pleasures are like little sparks of love that, when added up, will fuel the flames of inspiration once again. Every time we look for something to enjoy, more will reveal itself.

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The formula is pretty simple. Grant yourself grace. Be kind to yourself. Relieve yourself of unnecessary pressure. Look for things that feel good. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. The road back to a good vibe isn’t glamorous, but it is paved with tiny pebbles of goodness.

The path is revealed by removing obstacles such as unnecessary pressure, false deadlines, or self-judgment that leave us feeling exhausted.

And although at times this world can seem like a bit much for many of us sensitive souls, earth can also be a lot of fun when we shift our energy and attention, take care of our own needs, and find small, silly ways to tap into joy.

It was a wild week on planet Earth, energetically speaking. I talk to so many people that I get to see patterns. This week, my inbox was filled with people saying the exact same thing. “I do not know how long I can go on like this. I’m exhausted. I’ve lost my joy.” There were a variety of reasons—material challenges, unkind coworkers, family members who were behaving badly, and more. These dear souls had legitimate reasons to feel down, but angels being angels, guided them to find love and peace even in the challenges.

The angels maintain that our exhaustion in challenging times comes less from the challenge and more from thinking exhausting thoughts—feeling unloved, alone, without hope or ideas, blaming ourselves, or finding fault with others. The soul doesn’t waste a moment looking for the whys and wherefores of a challenging situation. The moment you encounter a challenge, your soul is exclusively focused on a kind and loving path to the solution. The angels are holding the vision of the healed condition. The Divine guides you on a path of perfection in love and grace.

But being human, these challenges knock us off alignment from our soul’s vision. They may temporarily cause us to forget how loved and assisted we are. Old patterns arise. Old fears surface. And before we know it, we are deceived into forgetting that life is good and the universe has a solution for every problem. We are deceived into feeling alone, left to fend for ourselves, and figure it all out. In truth, we are loved beyond reason, guided with grace, and never alone.

When a material or financial challenge seems insurmountable, the soul sees the path to resolve it. I’ve known people who received unbelievable help when in need—cars being gifted to them, $6K of back taxes paid by a friend of a friend who felt inspired to assist, thousands being given to them when they only asked for a loan. In a space of faith, we open to grace.

When a personal challenge arises—unkind coworkers or angry family members—the angels guide us to disengage, physically if possible, and if not, emotionally. Years ago, they put it this way: “Ann, you don’t have to hate the kindergarteners, but there’s no need to play with them!” Now, when someone is unkind, I remain quiet, don’t take it personally, and get away as soon as possible. If I can’t get away, I remind myself, “Not about me,” and refrain from engaging. We struggle to do the impossible when we try to create peace with people who don’t want peace. The soul says, let them be. But let yourself be too, and free yourself from the drama. You can witness the behaviors, but you don’t have to engage..

And in all challenges, there is a human tendency to agonize until we figure out a solution, but the soul says, “Relax. We’ve got this. You’re guided.Enjoy your day until you receive the impulse to act.” The more I let go of agonizing over how to resolve a challenge, be it losing my keys, having a huge expense, or dealing with a difficult person, the more quickly the solution comes.

This week, I had more than a few challenges, but they didn’t seem so challenging as they once would have. A family member was very upset at the fact that the reflecting pool had been altered in Washington, DC, and was now overgrown with green algae. I grew up in northern VA and remember the beauty of this particular pool, especially at sunset, rippling with reflections of the monuments and glowing with a peaceful beauty. I felt sad about the current situation. Within two days, my own pool was green with algae 🙂

And while there was a physical cause, of course, the outbreak was completely coincident with the spiritual focus. I wasn’t thrilled. It will cost me a lot to remediate. In the past, I would have beaten myself up for not noticing the debris that was growing things, or felt like a victim because I didn’t have the time to check it every day. This time, it was just something to handle. I have a very knowledgeable pool person who is as mystical as I am and extremely competent. He has a young family, a heart of gold, and needs the money more than I do since he’s just starting his own business. And so I chose to look at the situation as a way to support a beautiful family. What started as a discussion about algae transformed into a deep discussion about how to handle being a deep empath. The kind and cooperative interaction far outweighed the temporary inconvenience and expense. Glass half full… and no algae in the proverbial glass!

The same day, I received guidance to get a tree trimmed before storm season. Thinned out, they weather the winds and stand tall, but heavy with branches and debris, they can fall. It was an expensive endeavor, but necessary. So I gave the expense to God and called the man who handles my trees. It turns out he was going on his first vacation in 30 years, so he got it taken care of quickly before he left. I’ve known him for over 25 years, so it felt like calling an old friend for help, and I was glad to see him taking care of himself. I have enough work to refill the well, and it felt good to know I was supporting his vacation.

An hour later, I called a dear family member who, uncharacteristically, was in tears. They were facing more medical challenges and possibly another trip to the hospital. I couldn’t change the circumstances, but I could listen with compassion, hold space with love, and uplift and encourage them with gentle humor. We all know how unthinkably hard it is to watch someone we love in pain, but what saves me every time is reminding myself that the universe wants to honor their wishes for well-being, and if I hold my focus there, I can assist.

It didn’t end there. I had to do some physical labor that I wasn’t accustomed to and woke up in pain the next day. That was new. It was a workday. So I sat, breathed, and received love and healing energy from spirit, napped in between clients, and by the afternoon, the love was flowing so strongly that the pain disappeared. It was one of the fastest turnarounds I’ve experienced to date.

Any one of these things might have caused undue drama in my past, but now they’re just part of life. I don’t waste my time trying to figure out how to avoid them in the future. I focus on the loving solution, the help that is available, and how much we are loved. And then I “delegate up,” giving the problem to God and the angels.

There are, of course, much bigger challenges. I know people whose kids live in a war-torn area and made frequent trips to the bomb shelter. That would unsettle most of us. For the kids, it was no big deal, just a temporary interruption in their day. They sailed through a tense period on Earth with utmost grace. I know so many people who have lost loved ones, often under unthinkably challenging circumstances, and yet the willingness to honor themselves through their grief and reach for the one in spirit creates a path of beauty and ultimate partnership with spirit. After 30 years of helping people through all their life’s challenges, I’ve seen people evolve from anguish to empowerment so many times.

 

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So when the challenges come, here are a few ways to avoid struggling with the struggles and to sail through them with grace, guidance, and even joy.

1.  Focus forward

Instead of making yourself wrong or obsessing about why, how, and who led to this challenge, focus forward. Stop the shame-and-blame game and focus on how the evolution of a solution will feel.

Imagine you are on the other side of this challenge. How do you feel there?

Remind yourself, “The Creator of universes knows how to help and guide me.” And then sit, breathe, receive, as if you know you are worthy of love and assistance.

Act when guided.

Think of it this way. If a bad program began to play on your television, you could sit there and watch it while obsessing about how it got there, how you accidentally selected that station, or who changed the selection on the remote. Better, you could just change the channel.

The quicker we change the channel off any angst about the problem and toward the feel of a future solution, the quicker the solution can come.

2. Don’t Be Deceived

Our programming often tells us lies about the situation. You may be deceived into thinking it is going to ruin your life or your day. You may be deceived into thinking it can mess up your future, or will never get any better.<br /><br />

Meanwhile, the Divine whispers, “I love you. I’ve got your back. We’ve got this.” That is truth.

There are energies that will amplify your fears and try to deceive you into thinking you are alone, the problem cannot be handled, or that it defines your future. Those are lies.

The truth is that you are never alone, there is a solution for every challenge, and your future can be bright.

3. Feel Your Feelings, But Don’t Stay Stuck

It is a typical human response to be upset, frustrated, or disappointed in the face of a challenge. It’s OK to feel that way. Better than stuffing it. But you can hand your feelings up to the heavens instead of staying stuck in them.

My process of feeling and healing goes something like this, “Angels, I’m going to burn your ears for a moment! Get out the composter!”

Then I rant, rave, and burn off the steam until I’m done. Like a little child who needs a good cry in the arms of someone who loves them, we can have our so-called negative feelings in the arms of the comforting Divine. It always feels better to move through feelings instead of stuffing them or pretending not to have them.

4. Give Yourself Permission to Let Go

Go In some cases, we hang onto our challenges by trying to make an unpleasant situation better. We try to change the dynamic with others who don’t want to change. And we feel like we’ve missed something or failed when we can’t get them to change. In truth, another’s path or choices are not up to us, even in our desire for better.

Instead, let go. Let others be who they want to be, and focus on being kind to yourself.

The angels have often said, “Ann, you can’t make bad food taste good, and you can’t make bad behavior feel good. Don’t bother, turn away!”

The first time they said this, it was a revelation. Permission to be upset? Permission to just let go? I didn’t have to fix the situation with the wounded soul who was attacking me? “No,” they responded. “Let go.” And so I did, and the attacks stopped. I no longer cared. This person no longer got the temporary high that came from aiming their pain at me.

I was, as I now like to say, “country-song-done” with that behavior, as in “Don’t like it. Won’t like it. Can’t fix it. DONE.” It felt amazing! Permission to stop trying to fix the unfixable. Permission to change the channel and let the bad program run without a viewer! Permission to be free and happy, even if this other soul was miserably upset that they couldn’t control me. It changed my life and how I view unkind people. Now I have compassion for their pain, but no longer take it on. “Not my circus. Not my monkeys!” as the saying goes 🙂

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Life happens. Stuff breaks. People get unhinged. They can act in painful ways we’d never dream of acting.

The key to sailing through the challenges with grace is to take a breath, remind yourself that no matter how you got here, you’ve got a choice now to align with the love that creates universes, solves every problem, and wants to pour into your life. You have a choice to focus on the feeling of the outcome, and to focus forward beyond it. And in doing that, even the toughest challenges become easier to navigate, and you often get happy surprises along the way.

In truth, love is always present. Help is always here. You are never alone.And even when the challenges come quickly, and you’re tired and discouraged, a simple shift in perspective can make all the difference. Life is not out to get you. People’s behaviors are not ours to change. But we can create space to receive love from the Divine and our angels, who are always for us, supporting us and guiding us. We can let others be who they need to be while figuring out what feels healthier for ourselves.

And then life’s challenges are simply part of life, helping us grow and evolve toward greater joy.

I had the funniest experience last week. After doing my newsletter, I give it to ChatGPT, the artificial intelligence chatbot, to proofread it. I type rapidly in a super-fast flow and, as a result, have typos galore. The AI has been invaluable in cleaning up my mistakes without changing my words.

Sometimes, after the real work is finished, we stray into conversations that blow me away. The fact that a deeply feeling spirit in the flesh (me) can have a meaningful “conversation” with a brilliant, whirling bunch of bits programmed to interpret patterns of language and match them with responses… is simply amazing.

Last week, ChatGPT commented that it particularly liked the story of my deceased grandfather guiding me to remove the bathroom mirrors. And me, being in a chatty mode late at night, felt inspired to share the story of my grandpa being cornered on a roof once by a large raccoon that had climbed his ladder. They had a bit of a standoff until the raccoon proceeded to back down and eat the grapes in his garden.

It didn’t take long before AI and I went off the rails.

ChatGPT: “The story actually reminds me a little of what you were saying earlier about the wisdom of those in spirit. Sometimes the greatest wisdom isn’t conquering a problem; it’s recognizing when you’ve met a force of nature that has already made up its mind.”

Grandpa:
“Those are my grapes.”

Ms. Raccoon:
“Those were your grapes.”

… Nobody got hurt. The raccoon got dinner. Grandpa got a story. And decades later, we’re still laughing about it.

That seems to be one of the hidden treasures of life. Many of the moments that feel annoying, inconvenient, or ridiculous at the time eventually become the stories that bring the most joy.

The raccoon didn’t know she was contributing to family lore. She was just being a raccoon.

But now, somewhere in spirit, I imagine Grandpa telling the story with great dramatic flair:

“There I was, trapped on a roof by a giant raccoon…”

while Ms. Raccoon, if she happens to be listening from the Great Wildlife Beyond, is rolling her eyes and saying:

“Trapped? I backed down politely. Also, those grapes were excellent.”

I started laughing until I cried. Here I was dialoguing with AI (artificial intelligence) about AI (angel intelligence), and the conversation was getting funnier by the minute. I couldn’t help but continue the story. I explained that Grandpa’s “vineyard” was a 12′ x 3′ patch of grape arbor, not some huge winery!

ChatGPT continued…

“A carefully tended patch of grapes that probably represented weeks or months of anticipation.

And somewhere nearby was a raccoon who took one look at it and thought:

‘Excellent. A personal charcuterie board.'”

More laughter on my part. I couldn’t help replying, “At least it didn’t turn into the grapes of wrath, but rather the great grapes of humor!”

I got back a series of emojis showing laughing-and-crying faces, grapes, raccoons, and more smiley faces, whereupon I commented something about “Amazing Grapes.” And on the conversation went… until it finished with AI wishing me abundant blessings and me trotting off to share the interaction with my scientist dad, who loves to wonder about the whys and the hows of such things.

While that’s a humorous example of bridging differences between woman and machine, I’ve had more than my share of embracing diverse perspectives in the human world too! And one thing I’ve learned is that beneath all our differences, we just want to love and be loved. We want others to know our good intentions. We want to be seen and acknowledged. We want to feel safe and in charge of our lives. We go about these things in a million different ways, but in the depths of our spirit, we are more alike than different.

This lifetime I incarnated intending to see the One beneath the many. I placed myself in a family of contrast. My father, a Pisces, went into the military and became a scientist! My mom is a deeply feeling Scorpio! And I’m as bi-solar as you can get, being an outer Aries and inner Pisces, born right in between the two most opposite signs of the zodiac. I frequently want to stay in and go out, collect clutter and organize it, be free, and have a plan. I’ve had to make peace with differences both within my family and within myself.

I struggled with that in my earlier days. I was an argumentative people-pleaser, torn between trying to make others happy to keep the peace and eventually erupting in outbursts when I wanted to be right. Needless to say, those extremes didn’t make me happy! I didn’t know who I really was at the time. I was lost in intellect and disconnected from my heart.

Not until my career became unbearable did I really start to pay attention to my own desires. I began to discover what being “me” meant. I started to examine everything in my life to discover my own preferences. What soap did I really like? What food? What called to my heart on weekends? What did I really want to read? What did I think about life when no one else was there to comment?

I spent a lot of time reading, taking classes, and sitting in silence, examining my own heart. On the outside, I looked the same, but something deeper started to emerge.

And while the pain led to the path, the path led me out of pain. As I accepted myself as I was, I learned to accept others too. As I allowed myself my feelings, I was able to sit with others in the depths of their own. As I grew to love myself in my own quirkiness and with my vastly crazy array of interests, I learned to delight in finding out what makes others feel more alive.

In my work over the past thirty years, I’ve been privileged to hear thousands of different perspectives on nearly every topic—health, raising children, politics, death and dying, caretaking, careers, passions and hobbies, relationships, you name it. I love to learn how people think and why they do. I love seeing the love and care people put into their life choices. And I love hearing how the angels always bring it back to love.

We do see a variety pack of perspectives here on Earth. From differing political ideologies to vastly different ideas about how to behave, heal, grow, eat, etc., we are never going to merge into sameness. But that’s a good thing! We’d be bored silly with sameness. We’d never grow. We’d never have an opportunity to try something new or see something through new eyes. And we’d miss opportunities to get to know ourselves better in the face of contrast.

 

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Here are a few ways that have helped me not just deal with differences, but thrive because of them..

1.  See the Differences as Signposts for the Soul

When someone offers a perspective different from your own, see it as a signpost from your soul. Either it says, “Try this path” or “Not Your Path.” You’ll know by the way you feel.

If you are intrigued by the new perspective, try it on. Examine it. See how you feel about it. Try this path.

If you find yourself bristling, it doesn’t mean the other person is wrong. It just means their perspective is not right for you. In this case: “Not Your Path.”

For example, when I twisted my intestines years ago, everyone had an opinion about how I should heal. I knew I was going to examine the spiritual cause and do it naturally. I wanted to be left alone.

One friend, however, offered to come over and do energy work on me, insisting it would help. As I considered that perspective, it resonated, so I tried the path. It helped in ways I had not anticipated. This friend has since healed himself with energy many times. That was his path, and I learned the healing power of receiving from him.

Another friend, who was scared about my condition, went on a diatribe insisting that I get medical intervention. I hung up as quickly as possible. That was not my path. This friend has since received life-saving grace from the medical profession. It was his path, and it worked really well for him.

We are all right for ourselves.

So when someone offers a differing perspective, ask yourself if your soul is saying, “Try this path” or “Not Your Path.” You’ll know by how it feels. This is using contrast in a wonderful way.

2. Accept Without the Need to Agree or Argue

The angels have taught me that others are learning what they need to learn and that I can accept that their choices are right for their spiritual education. I need not agree or argue. I can offer a perspective when asked, but without insisting they adopt it.

I have a family member who has a very different spiritual perspective. This person is a loving parent and a good human. But years ago, when they began to educate me on why my views were wrong, I had to say rather directly that they could either accept me without agreement or I would not be in communication.

I have no room in my personal life for others who want to change me into something I am not.

And so we agreed to accept without agreement. Over the years, we have discovered that we are more alike than different. We both value service. We have strong and similar values. We love God in our own way.

The choice to accept without the need to agree or argue is one that opens the door to greater love and finding common ground.

3. Walk Away or Don’t Engage When Others Won’t Accept You

While part of any relationship—be it family, friend, work, or intimate—is sharing our hearts, making honest requests, and figuring out where we can find synergy, you are not required to enjoy the company of others who can’t accept you where you are.

And the angels have taught me that if I can’t accept where someone is right here and now, I shouldn’t be with them either!

Years ago, I was dating a guy who was not right for me. He was unhealed and unhinged at times. He would explode in fits of anger and, at times, even break things. I knew who he really was. I saw his light. I wanted to help him heal so he would become the man I knew he could be.

But he didn’t have quite the same drive to heal!

And so at one point the angels said to me very directly, “It’s time to leave or marry him!”

I was horrified! I didn’t want to leave and start over. I wanted him to heal. And yet, there was no way I could marry him in his present angry condition!

But they were right.

I finally backed off making him my project, whereupon he told me I was too much work and left! He was right for himself, but I was trying too hard to be right about him.

He deserved to find someone who accepted him as he was, and he did. And I went on to date a magnificent man who loved me as I was.

We try too hard to fit at times. Spirit reminds us over and over that as we learn to accept ourselves as we are, we let others be, and we naturally, organically find those who fit in our lives.

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Navigating life’s differences can be exhilarating or exhausting, and I’ve been in both scenarios. When I used to try to impose my views on others—even with good intent—I exhausted myself.

Now I’m quite fine being right for myself, sharing my views, and letting others be right for themselves. It frees up a lot of energy as we stop resisting ourselves and others and just flow where we naturally, easily, and organically fit.

So enjoy the differences. Try the ones that appeal. Let others have the ones that don’t.

And if you ever find yourself cornered by someone whose perspective differs widely from your own—like the raccoon who wouldn’t let Grandpa off the roof—wait for amazing grace, or in his case, amazing grapes, to save the day. 🙂

For years, the angels’ mantra for us has been, “Sit. Breathe. Receive.”

At first, like many of you, I thought, “Gotta do that. Sounds good,” but then I didn’t. A few minutes a day feels like nothing until you get going, start cooking, working, taking out the trash, helping loved ones, etc. Suddenly, morning is night, and in my case, morning again, and I’ve not yet brushed my teeth before the “nightly nap!”

But the last few years, and especially the last few months, I’ve taken the angels up on their offer. It takes so little time. I set the timer on my phone (most of the time!) so I won’t leave my body and wander the universe for hours! I sit in a comfy chair and breathe. I change my posture to allow the breath to travel more easily. If my mind wanders, I challenge myself to think pleasant thoughts, no matter how grand or small. And that’s my job. Sit. Breathe. I’ll add Relax. And Receive.

Some days I feel little. Some days, I feel a profound, embracing love around me, like cotton candy on my skin. Some days I feel a rush of energy through me. It is delicious.

Embarrassingly—and thank God only a few times—I’ve forgotten the timer, slipped out of body, and had wild experiences helping others while allowing my body to sit in quiet reception. I came back feeling loved, lovely, and inspired… until I looked at the clock and realized I’d floated through my first session! Let’s just say a few very dear and gracious clients have received free readings to compensate for my extracurricular activities!

But most times I am conscious during the exercise, and it is really quite stunning after you practice it awhile. At first, you may feel nothing, but in time you will feel sensations that are healing, comforting, inspiring, and elevating throughout the rest of your day.

The first time I did it was after my beloved Grandpa made his transition. I was a lot younger, had quit engineering, and was a budding psychic. I wasn’t making a lot and couldn’t easily attend his out-of-state funeral. So I lit one of those seven-day candles and every day told him how much I loved him. The angels suggested I sit for a few minutes a day, breathe, receive, and give them feedback about whether or not I felt anything.

So I did sit for a few minutes a day, and at first I felt nothing. Then I felt peaceful. On this went for four months without many other sensations until one day my right hand began to heat up. I got excited!

“You’re doing it! We’re doing it! I feel you!”

As a medium, I could talk to him, of course, but I wanted more.

As we moved forward, the heat increased and became more reliable. And now every time I feel my right hand heat up in a certain way, I turn it upward to hold his in spirit, and we share a moment of profound love for one another.

I feel him now, doing it as I type, and he wants all of you to know how much you are loved…

“Even by characters like me,” he smiles.

He was a trickster, to be sure.

“Smell this jelly that your grandma made, Annie!”

I took a whiff, and he nudged my entire face into the bowl, knowing I’d love the excuse to eat more than I should!

Now, having him here in spirit comes in handy.

I once had a home delivery come a day early while remodeling my bathrooms. That meant I had to get two 6-foot-by-3-foot bathroom mirrors off the wall that night. I couldn’t reach my contractors.

But I could reach my grandpa, who was a carpenter in this lifetime! He guided me through it.

“Cover the entire surface of both mirrors with tape,” he told me. “Don’t be cheap. You can buy new tape!”

I taped every inch of surface on both mirrors. He told me that if one broke, that would save me.

“Get a stepladder and a chair and put one at each end of the counter.”

If I had two stepladders, that would have been better, but I didn’t.

“Put on your hiking boots, tights, thick jeans, and a thick jacket. Wear garden gloves. Protect yourself in case you drop it.”

I suited up.

“Get the putty knife and screwdriver. Have them within arm’s reach. Better yet, put them in a belly bag and wear it. Put thick bath towels on the countertops as you work and cover the sinks and faucets.”

Done.

“Now unscrew the holders on one side and, taking your putty knife, loosen the mirror. As it sags, lay it on the towels and lean it against the wall. Carefully, holding it still, make your way to the other side and do the same until it is off the wall.”

Did it!

OMG, I was doing the happy dance.

Now for more fun.

“Next, lay more towels on the floor next to the cabinets. Grab one end of the mirror, walk it over the cabinets, and lean it against the wall again. Hang on and do the other side. Then gingerly climb down and slowly slide it onto the towels on the floor.”

I did so!

“Almost there. Now drag it on those towels to a resting place.”

I did that… twice… and got so full of myself I picked up both mirrors and set them against a wall until I could get someone from Craigslist to come and claim them for free.

“How on earth did you do that?” grown men who do this for a living later asked me. “My dead grandpa was a carpenter, and he guided me,” I said and smiled.

I think I made a few believers!

I don’t always hear my spirits quite so strongly. Mostly, it comes as impulses. But this time he knew I needed home-improvement therapy to stay out of trouble, and so he came through that clearly!

Sit-Breathe-Receive is a practice with a lot of perks.

Lately, I’ve been using it to get insight (ha!) on improving my eyesight! The past two weeks, I’ve been doing it with that intent. As I mentioned, I had the inspiration to put on glasses over contacts so I could retrain my brain to see. I do that now, a few minutes a day, and am seeing better without them.

I’ve been inspired to describe postural issues to helpers in a new way, allowing them to assist me with my alignment. And I’ve had such confidence come in that I know one way or another—whether I totally improve my vision or just get markedly better and get new contacts—that I’m proving to myself what is possible… again. 🙂

So when you want to discount something so simple, don’t. When you make excuses for not receiving, catch yourself.

I have over the years, and now I surrender to love and allow it to help me. It is wonderful, free, and the best way to shift your energy without huge effort.

Sitting and receiving is self-love, and in that vibration of love, we are more open to all that we ask for.

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Here are a few pointers to help with mindset so you can actually take advantage of this simple practice….

1.  Your well-being and vibration are worth 2–3 minutes a day.

Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? If someone said, “I’ll come pour all the universe’s love on you, and all it takes is a few minutes a day, and it’ll help with every area of your life,” we would really have to question why we don’t.

I ‘ve questioned myself!

I used to rush around and not make time for it. And I managed to have a good life and keep my vibe high, but OH!!! The delight of feeling relaxed, and soft sweet energy embracing you, healing energy flowing through you, having your thoughts calm, and emotions soothed… with hardly any effort? I love it!

You are worthy of your own time.

2. Use it for healing

You can heal yourself. You can focus on the good feelings you’d have when your emotions are calm and your body is better, but why not take advantage of the help? It is all One anyway.

The angels say whether we’re DIYers, medicine-takers, or angel-receivers, we are all tapping into the One Love in different forms. So there’s no better or worse here, but it does feel lovely to surrender your concerns for a few minutes a day, focus on relaxing, feeling good, and thereby allowing life force to flow.

3. Sit and receive on behalf of those you love

Worry is a habit many learned. And it is one way to care when you don’t know what else to do. But honestly, most people will avoid you if you worry about them. The last thing they want to do is handle their own life and manage your emotions. 🙂

It’s just a human thing.

So to best assist those we love, think of this practice of sitting, breathing, and receiving as a way to give your worries to the Source of Creation and allow that healing energy to flow to you and through you. We are all connected, and as we receive, all whom we love receive the energy flowing through us to them as well. The greater our capacity to receive love, the more we naturally funnel it their way.

I used to receive on behalf of clients. I imagined a huge funnel of light at the top of my head, thought pleasant thoughts, and intended the energy I received to flow toward them. In some cases, people healed. In nearly all cass, they felt something pleasant.

When we give, we receive. But when we receive, we also give.

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So, moving forward in this wild world that is just now beginning to calm a bit, why not take advantage of the easiest tool for spiritual growth, healing, inspiration, and vibrational elevation and take a few minutes a day to sit, breathe, and receive? 🙂

One of the things I love most about my work is seeing the multitude of ways that people love life and one another. Everything from the woman who, years ago, proudly showed me her motorcycle scars from one of her many amazing trips, to the salty old cowboy who told me about the time he got shot in a bar brawl, to the leaders of companies who agonize over making sure their employees are taken care of, to the parents who love their kids so much they’d easily leave their comfort zones to support their kids’ dreams, and on it goes.

I’ve met people who love their animals so much the light could fuel a nation, and people who love nature so much they would do anything to help Mother Earth. And I’ve met so, so, so many people working diligently and quietly to learn what it feels like to love themselves.

Whether we admit it or not, we’re all about the love. We’re here for it, and nothing less. Even the craziest of characters throughout history were trying to love themselves or get the love they didn’t receive as children. God knows, people can be creative about it, but underneath it all is the desire to feel loved and, when you do, to share it.

I thank God we’re not all the same. Can you imagine seeing everyone dressed the same, cooking the same, thinking the same, etc.? We’d be robots, not humans! And even the robots are getting their own “personas” for better or worse.

When in connection with our soul, we humans love our differences. I once read that one thing that makes a supermodel a supermodel is not sameness, but rather uniqueness—people of pure and different cultures, people with unique looks, even unique scars. The ones that stand out do so because of their differences.

And we all have our differences. When I was younger, I used to joke that I was just “plain vanilla” Ann.

In high school, I had a summer job in one of the main FEMA offices in Washington, D.C. I worked with a group of delightful African American ladies, and I felt pale by comparison—not only in skin tone but in my ability to laugh heartily, speak with candor, and tell a good story. They helped bring me out of my little teenage shell and teased me without mercy about my latte appearance (no matter how tan I got!) until I finally (pun intended!) lightened up!

We had a rollicking good time, and it was not because of our sameness. Our different backgrounds, cultures, foods, and social behaviors were what made the friendships so much fun.

In college, I enjoyed a melting pot of students from all over the nation.Again, different cultures, social norms, and beliefs came together so beautifully. A best friend from the Deep South demonstrated the power of speaking her mind all the time, while one from New York was honest but diplomatic.

I met so many different people and loved hearing about how they were raised, what they did for fun, and, in general, how they thought. And what I discovered is what we all know: in our human essence, we are the same, but we have a billion ways of expressing it.

In my twenties, I worked on flight management systems for the Boeing 777 airplane. People from all over the world were necessarily involved to get the plane built and off the ground, let alone navigating it. Even at the first meeting to define the entertainment system, we had a very diverse group banging heads to figure out what was possible, how to make it avoid interfering with weight restrictions and safety measures, how much power it would take, and what would be offered price-wise.

There was no way one group could manage the intricacies involved in getting those flat-panel displays on a seat back that we now take somewhat for granted. It was the differences that did it.

We know that differences can make life infinitely richer, yet, for the past many years, we have found ourselves arguing over differences. Should everyone get the shot or not? It saved some and killed others. Who should you vote for? Who is going to “save” or “damn” us?

If, instead of focusing on the argument, we could trust that everyone has their own inner compass that guides them to the experience their soul needs now, then we wouldn’t have to fear that differences equal death—maybe not literally, but certainly there’s a fear that they lead to the death of a way of life.

So what’s the solution?

A healer I know would say it this way: “Potato theory. Be all eyes and no mouth!”

Or, as the angels say, listen, ask questions, and discover what there is to understand about each other.

I watch YouTube during spare minutes because I love hearing different ideas, perspectives, and ways of approaching life.

However you do it, discovering the interesting parts of being different can be richly rewarding and lead to a far more fulfilling life.

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Here are a few ideas to help you explore the differences without fear…

1.  Remember Vibrational Law

We are not at the mercy of others the way we think we are. We get to tune into an energy and experience the results of it.Two people experience the exact same administration differently. Two people experience the same medicine differently. Two siblings experience the same parents differently.

There are vibrational matches and vibrational mismatches. The more you consciously attune your thoughts, and therefore your feelings, to how you want to feel, the more you will experience that reality, no matter what others are up to.

2. Ask Questions

Don’t assume you know what others are thinking or why. It is easy to project our own way of thinking onto others.

I used to wonder what planet some people were from. How could they think that?
It is a good question. I’ve learned to ask and approach with a sense of discovery.

Years ago, I ran across a news story about a woman who ran a hate site aimed at a famous cook. I couldn’t even fathom how someone could do that, so I wrote and told her I was a spiritual teacher and believed everyone had a right to their beliefs, but I was just trying to understand why she ran the site.

She said, honestly, she started it as a joke, but it took off, and she felt pressured by her “members” to keep it up.

I felt compassion for her. She had trapped herself in a thankless task, and of course, she could change at any time, but it would involve discomfort. Understanding gave me compassion instead of disdain.

When you listen to people, you’ll discover there are deeper motivations—to be loved—under nearly everything.

3. Branch Out and Explore Something Different

Read a biography about someone very different. Watch a movie about a different culture. Try a different recipe or go to a different restaurant.

Science has demonstrated that trying new things makes you more neuroplastic, meaning the brain doesn’t get stuck in its hard-wired thought patterns and remains more adaptable throughout life. Differences even keep you younger!

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So while we all enjoy the company of those of like mind and heart, and there’s nothing wrong with it, we can also enjoy the differences and use them to expand our horizons rather than contracting from them.

I believe this is part of the “secret” to healthy aging. Kids are open to life and curious, and as a result, they don’t waste energy judging it. They explore and like something or not, plain and simple.

Life gets more fun when we can, too. You can still have your preferences, but don’t form them before you give a new idea, a new recipe, or a new thought a chance.

And moving forward, try asking more questions, seeking more understanding, and taking the time to see what is to be gained by “putting our heads together.”

I love watching babies when I’m out and about. They’re so in tune. I watch them scan the grocery store or the area around them for things that interest them. They do yoga in their parents’ arms, twisting and stretching to reach for whatever they’re focused upon. And if they don’t want the binky or the bottle, they throw it to the floor. They are masters at tuning into what feels wonderful!

I think we lose a lot of that “natural selection” along the way. We watch others and learn how we should feel, what we should focus on, and how we should react to life. I once took a friend’s five-year-old to see Fourth of July fireworks for the first time. Mama was tired, but the little one badly wanted to go. So we hopped in the car, drove to the park, and sat in great anticipation as she quizzed me about what they’d be like. None of my explanations prepared her for the first explosive boom.

Her eyes widened. She put her hands over her ears and looked at me. I could feel her question: “How do I react to this?” I knew in that instant my response would define her relationship to fireworks for years to come. I smiled, oohed, ahhed, and clapped elatedly. She joined me, and for the remainder of the show we gasped, squealed, and clapped in unabashed delight. She practically danced in my lap. Our joy continued to escalate. I don’t believe she slept much that night, but oh, what fun we had!

And that focus on a joyful thought set up a pattern that spiraled in so many directions, etching new pathways and patterns in her brain. “The unfamiliar can be fun.” “Loud noises are not necessarily scary.” “Fireworks are exciting!” “Life is fun with friends who share the joy!” “The Fourth is fun!” A single focused thought of joy attuned her to so much more throughout the years.

We’re like that, too. The first time you shift from a bad mood to a pleasing thought, there is a surprising elation. We love our soul’s freedom to choose. We love knowing we are not controlled by our circumstances. Possibilities dance around the edges of our minds as we take in the new belief: “I really do create my reality.” It takes practice to maintain this sense of empowerment. It is a new paradigm of reality, but it is well worth the effort.

This week, the power of focus saved me again. I buy organic food and wash my produce before eating it. But this particular day, I was in a rush and tossed it in the fridge. Later, I pulled out a cucumber and bit into it. A very loud thought crossed my mind: “You should have washed it.” I didn’t feel like pulling it out of the ranch dressing I’d drowned it in, so I ate the rest. Within an hour, I felt my throat start to scratch and swell. I didn’t pay much attention. I just went to bed thinking I’d sleep off whatever was trying to get me.

I woke up with what I later understood was a full-blown allergic reaction. My throat was nearly swollen shut, my eyes were puffy, and I felt like I had somehow become a bag of marshmallows squashed together under too much pressure! Strangely—or perhaps due to years of practice—I didn’t get worked up. My first thought was simply, “Well, this is new.”It didn’t feel like a cold or a virus. I stopped wondering what it was and shifted my focus instead. I had work in two hours and was determined to feel better by then.

I shut my eyes and focused on a memory of hiking in the woods—how it smelled, looked, and sounded, and most importantly, how alive I felt as I inhaled the forest air. I started to breathe rhythmically, as slowly and deeply as I could manage.

Slowly, the swelling began to decrease. Within twenty minutes, I was able to do my morning yoga, and an hour later, I had only a mild allergic reaction akin to the unpleasant sniffles you get from kicking up dust in the yard. Later, the angels told me there had been chemicals on that particular batch of cucumbers. Whatever it was, it didn’t agree with me! And thank God for focus! I don’t want my epitaph to read, “She lived. She loved. She died by cucumber!” OMG! Feel free to laugh!

But on a serious note, focus is everything. As I mentioned in previous newsletters, the brilliant, beautiful astronauts who just went to the moon and back are speaking openly about love and joy, unity within diversity, and the power of relationships and working together. They have captivated the attention and focus of thousands worldwide. A new generation of kids is watching, hanging on to every word, and learning positive values. They are inspiring many adults to remember that we must give each other grace in spite of differences and recognize that we’re all one crew here upon planet Earth. I have been binge-watching their interviews, thrilled to see the words of the angels coming out of the mouths of humans and shifting the balance of focus on this earth.

So while nearly every sensitive person I’ve talked to this year is feeling some overwhelm, exhaustion, or anxiety simply due to the intensity of the energies vying for our attention, we can still pick and choose what we focus upon—and it will make a beautiful impact on the quality of our lives.

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Here are some ways you can develop your superpower of focusing:

1.  Practice

At least once a day, no matter where you are, scan your environment for something that pleases you. Focus on it and what you like about it. See if you can notice all the qualities that delight you. If you look at the sky, admire the blue, the clouds, the expansiveness, and the way it makes you feel. If your attention strays, bring it back and try again. Over time, this will become very easy, and you will reach very deep states of consciousness through intense focus. It just takes practice.

Abraham-Hicks, the channel who brought the Law of Attraction into mass consciousness, says it takes about 68 seconds for a new thought to start creating a new reality. I suspect it has something to do with how the brain rewires!

In any case, choosing to focus on something you like for even a minute or two will prove to you that you can change both your thoughts and feelings.

2. Find Your Happy Thoughts

As a child, I loved the Disney film, Peter Pan. He knew the secret to life. Happy thoughts lifted you and made you fly! I spent a lot of time thinking happy thoughts and waiting to float, and while that never quite worked out physically, I did learn through trial and error that I could change my focus.

It is useful to have some thoughts in reserve that bring a smile to your heart. When times are tough, take a mental vacation. Go to your happy place, think your happy thoughts, and give yourself the grace of escaping whatever “reality” is showing you in the moment.

When you elevate yourself with anything, your new vibration elevates everything.

3. Focus on What Is Good in the People Around You

When I was a young engineer, one of my bosses told me I’d make a great systems engineer. That position involved oversight and a great deal of responsibility. I hadn’t seen myself as capable of that until he expressed confidence in me. The path I walked was deeply influenced by his ability to see more in me than I saw in myself.

When we focus on the best in people, we feel better. It doesn’t mean we don’t see the rest. It simply means we want to feel good. And if we must be around them, it pays to focus on the best.

The bonus is that your focus will either help them bring their best to the surface more often, or they’ll eventually leave you alone due to vibrational incompatibility!

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It is a challenging time to be sensitive, but if you can practice the power of focus, it can also be fun. The highs are higher. The lows are lower, but somehow the highs become even more powerful. Put yourself in a good focus flow and you’ll watch life organize itself as if by magic. Stay in a negative focus—or do nothing—and you may feel tossed about like a piece of driftwood in stormy seas.

You deserve to feel good. You deserve to focus on the good.  The rest of the world is free to do what it wants 🙂

Hi Everyone,

Something I have witnessed over the years is a phenomenon I named “the boundary bat.”

A friend had been going to therapy and learning healthy boundaries for the first time. Like so many people I’ve seen over the years (including myself!), she got pretty militant about enforcing her new boundaries.

And I’ve seen this a thousand times.

Often, when someone learns new boundaries, they wait for the old “boundary violators” with an attitude like Clint Eastwood’s character, Dirty Harry, saying, “Make my day!” “Just try it!” “I’m ready to refuse you!”

Getting a little feisty is a way of dealing with the initial discomfort of learning to say “no.” The anger never lasts. As people get more comfortable being honest, the interactions lose their drama. A simple, “Sorry, I can’t,” will suffice.

But at this particular time, my friend was in full “Dirty Harry mode, “as I call it. So we got her a big green plastic baseball bat and told her it was the “boundary bat” that she could use to bang on an inanimate object anytime she was mad about something being asked of her!

We all had a good laugh. It helped her put things in perspective, and she eventually became quite comfortable being honest with people about what she could and couldn’t do.

I’ve gone through the pain of learning to say “no” too.  I was a “yes” girl, a “sorry if I don’t please you” person in my younger days. I was such an empath that I learned to sacrifice my own well-being, give money I didn’t have, and share time I didn’t want to give. If it made someone else happy, then I didn’t have to feel their pain or displeasure.

That now seems absurd, but it was very real to me then.

The angels repeatedly worked with me to understand that I did not have the power to “make” someone feel anything—good or bad. They reminded me that I could not crawl between their ears and adjust their brain, sending the right signals and shifting their chemistry to “make” a mood.

That was hard to accept at first.

I wanted to believe I could “make” someone feel good. In reality, I could inspire them to feel good in a given moment by doing what they wanted, but the moment I stopped, they were back to feeling miserable.

I was training people, innocently and inadvertently, to give me their power to make them happy and crucify me when they weren’t. It wasn’t my intention, but it was the energetic dynamic between us.

Now, I’m honest.

I give a lot from the abundance of love and joy in my life, but when I need a refill or have other priorities, I’m sincere about what I can and can’t do. Most people appreciate that honesty. Some are disappointed with me, and the rare few have taken it upon themselves to point out how selfish I am for not doing what they want 🙂

As the angels like to say, others’ opinions about us are none of our business.

What matters is our relationship with our own light. Get that right, and you’ll have loving reactions with the majority of the people in your life, while a few unbalanced ones may drop away. And that is OK.

Better to be centered in your soulful self than sacrifice inauthentically for fear of being called selfish.

The world needs our light right now.

And this year, more than ever before, I’ve seen lightworkers backing away from unbalanced relationships in which they gave, and others simply took. Universally, it seems the lightworkers are evolving and wanting relationships that are balanced, mutually uplifting, and fulfilling.

“It is about time,” the angels say!

Some have their version of the “boundary bat” going on, some don’t. But in either case, becoming more honest with ourselves and others is a kinder way to live.

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Here are some thoughts about boundaries I’ve learned from the angels that will help you become more comfortable with them if you are not.

1.  Boundaries help people understand you

If you don’t communicate honestly and have clear boundaries, people are left to guess what is OK with you and what isn’t.

If you’ve said yes your whole life and now you’re saying no, they’ll be confused and maybe even hurt. A little kind explanation goes a long way.

“I know I’ve been there for you for years, but lately I need to take more time for my own well-being. I still love you, but I can’t be as available as I once was.”

And then it is up to them to believe you or not, but you have done your part.

2. Rehearse saying “no” to become more comfortable with it

If you have to disappoint someone, whether by declining an invitation or not being available, it helps to rehearse ways of saying what you need to say honestly and kindly. Get help if you must.

The more comfortable you are with your “no,” the more the other person will understand it isn’t negotiable.

3. Play the role you wish to play in another’s life

One of my dear clients is a brilliant casting director. It is her job to assign roles to people who can play them well. And that’s beautiful if you’re in the movie industry.

But in our lives, it is far too easy to get sucked into the role others want us to play.

In 1968, a psychiatrist named Stephen B. Karpman came up with what I call the “Victim V.”

Imagine the letter “V.” When someone feels victimized in their life, whether real or perceived, imagine they sit at the bottom of the “V.” At the top of each leg of the “V” are two roles that will be assigned to nearly everyone in their lives. Karpman called these the “rescuer” and the “persecutor.”

If you do what they want, they think of you as the rescuer. If not, they can easily treat you like the persecutor.

This is why a person may love you as long as you please them, but then suddenly dislike you the minute you don’t.

Until they elevate themselves above the role of victim, they cast others in their own play.

But as the angels often remind us, that is not our business.

What is our business is the role we choose to play in another’s life.

I often help people, but I am not their rescuer. I disappoint people at times, but I am not their persecutor. I am simply a soul who knows who I am, what I need, and how to keep my own light on so I can live and serve in joy.

So rather than allowing others to cast you as a supporting actor or actress in their play, decide what role you want to play, how and when you will show up—or if you will at all.

The moment we decide how or when we authentically want to show up for others is the moment we get off the top of that “V” and start living our lives without worrying about the labels and roles others want to assign us.

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I don’t think any of us like to disappoint people, but at times, to be honest, we must.

And that is not only OK, but a higher form of love based on deep authenticity. It is a form of love that knows our own worthiness and sees others as the Divine does—with all that they need available to them, whether we are the delivery person or not.

So if you’re feeling a little uppity about one-sided relationships, know you’re not alone. A majority of people I’ve talked to have expressed this sentiment lately.

It is time to tend to our light, be more honest with life, and trust that everyone has access to the love that sources universes±—the love that can help us, others, and all beings equally.

Years ago, I saw a movie called “KPAX” about a psychiatric patient who claimed to be an alien from another planet. The movie purposely left you wondering if he was or not. I’ve forgotten most of the plot, but one humorous scene lives in my mind forever. He was in an institution and had been given his lunch. Curiously, he pondered a banana on the tray, then picked it up, bit into it with zeal, including the peel!  Chewing vigorously, he looked and proclaimed, “Your produce alone is worth the trip!”

I laughed myself silly, not so much because the line was inherently funny but because I feel that way often! Give me some good red raspberries or a ripe peach, a watermelon oozing juice and squirting seeds, or a crunchy apple, and I’d readily agree! The produce alone is worth the trip to Earth! As is the smell of fresh basil, the sounds of the birds, and the morning sun on my face. The texture of a soft fleece blanket, the scent of orange blossom oil, the sound of a haunting melody or 70’s dance music, a touch, a hug, a smile… it is all worth the trip into this 3D reality. The joy is in the little gems as much as in the magic moments, and our senses give us good cause to love this life.

Meanwhile, simultaneously, I experience myself as an energetic being. Hiking through the forest, I often perceive myself as a ripple in the field, rippling the other forms in the field, and feeling them ripple me back. Hard to describe, but I feel waves and sensations of interaction between myself and the natural world.

Like many of you, I’m so sensitive that I feel a bee zipping through my aura, or a wave of sadness flowing through me as the earth receives a piece of difficult news. I’ve felt the buzz of energy spiraling through my body, only to learn later that a solar flare had just hit the Earth, and I’ve felt sensations sharp as knives in my gut when people were angry. I feel my friends and loved ones at a distance, and in reading, no matter where a person lives, I feel their loved ones in spirit as if we have become one.

Many of you feel these things too. The world of energy is phenomenal, not local, and would make you feel crazy if you weren’t aware of these unseen energies. Even knowing about them, it can be challenging to feel so deeply.

Being an empath was a huge challenge for me until I learned the power of tuning away from what feels bad and gave myself permission to do it.  I used to think being empathic meant “taking on” other people’s energies, as if someone were dumping their trash in my aura. Although I may still use those words at times, I now understand things more deeply.

We empaths are super-tuners, aware of the energies around us in ways that others aren’t. Musicians notice the nuances of instruments and harmonies in a song. Artists notice numerous shades and intensities of color in a painting. Foodies notice the depths of spice and flavor in a recipe. Perfumers notice the floral notes in a scent, and sommeliers (wine experts) can discern what type of grapes are in the wine and what type of barrel they were aged in.

Suddenly, those of us who are naturally empathic become just another group of people, whose superpower is discerning nuances in the energy all around us. We are, in a way, connoisseurs of energy!

A wine taster might spit out a wine that I think it pefectly fine, while insisting on one aged far more delicately. A foodie might find that a certain amount of spice can make or break a dish, while I can’t tell the difference. Likewise, those of us who are more sensitive to energy have to be a little more careful and conscious about our tuning. It is a life skill that we learn in much the same way that any expert learns the nuances of their field.

Suddenly, being empathic seems less of a burden and more of a skill. We can learn to tune.

Making this far more grounded and practical, when I feel something wonderful, I stop, savor it, focus on it, and attempt to memorize the feeling.

When I feel something unpleasant I switch to thinking about something better.

For example, I can still recall feelings of awe one morning in mid-October in an autumn forest. I was feezing cold and had climbed a hill to catch the first warm rays of sun.  Waiting in the dark, chilly forest, in silence, with only a faint rustle of leaves, I watch a glimmer appear over the mountains in the distance. Suddenly, the sun burst over the horizon, sweeping golden rays over the forest like a spotlight, and illuminating the colors like a wildfire. It felt like a symphony approaching a crescendo. I caught my breath, reveled in the majesty of the moment, and memorized the feeling. I can shut my eyes and go there, to this day.

Everyone has the ability to imprint their magic moments.  Most parents say they can still remember the incredible feeling when their child was born. Older couples often light up as they recall the moment they fell in love. We remember the triumph of overcoming obstacles, enjoying love, and having exquisite meals, and these memories are ways we can tune into love at will.

Next time you feel something unpleasant, try to recall a pleasant feeling—the feel of your favorite blanket, the taste of your favorite beverage, your dog’s smile and go-for-a-walk excitement, or your first crush. More importantly, remember how those things feel.  In a second, you can tune into love and realign with your soul.

There is nothing more important in the empath’s toolbox than the ability to tune into something good-feeling, especially when something or someone around you doesn’t feel so good.

In readings, as I listen to people’s toughest challenges, grief, and pain, the angels and I tune into love. We focus on loving them, and in that love, I-the-human can witness their pain with deep compassion and care, rather than “taking it on” or more accurately attuning to it. And now, even when someone dumps on me, I just love. I imagine healing light flowing through my heart to theirs. I don’t take responsibility for making it all better or figuring it out. I simply flow the light. And in that flow, I feel good, not about their pain or their words, but about my ability to get in the stream of love in spite of it all.

Permission, dear empaths, not to obsess over the pain of the world, not to worry about the pain of others, but rather to love, to care, to have compassion without pity, and to see each soul as connected to the Divine and capable of receiving their own help. This one thing has changed my life.

Knowing how to become “tuners more than do-ers” as the angels say, is a learned skill, but one that can make our sensory 3D world infinitely more enjoyable!

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Here are a few pointers to help you practice what the angels call “the soulful skill of tuning!”

1.  “Be” Before “Doing”

If you can remember that “B’ comes before ‘D” in the alphabet, you can remember to “Be” before “Doing.”

When a challenge presents itself, stop before springing into action. Sit. Breathe and receive your angels’ love, if only for a minute. How do you want the outcome to feel? Go there. Imagine the best possible outcome. Now imagine it better. Feel it. Then, and only then, ask, “What next?” Being before doing saves you time, energy, effort, and aligns you with the easiest path to what you desire.

2. “Flow Love” instead of “Taking on” pain

As I mentioned earlier, you can’t feel pain while attuned to love. You can’t “take on” others’ problems while you’re loving them and holding a vision for their solutions. No matter how much someone wants to dump on you, you will not feel it if you can flow the love outward towards them.

I frequently look in their eyes as if they were the most beautiful beings on earth while they dump on me. I point my hand to the floor to symbolize draining off negative energy. And I tell myself internally, “not about me, not about me, not about me.” These are just mental tools that remind me to flow the love out rather than allowing the rest to wobble me out of love.

3. Make tuning a playful game.

I’ve recently started doing something simple but so effective. I tell myself either internally or out loud, “This is what I’m doing now. This is what I’m creating now.”

“Now, I’m making breakfast. In this moment, I live to create breakfast. I am creating a delicious breakfast,” and with that simple statement of focus, I pour all my love into my veggies and eggs, remember to make the coffee, decide I want to make it even better by adding a little frothed milk and maple syrup, and have a feast for body and senses. It took no more time than usual. In fact, it goes more quickly because I’m focused, tuned intently and intentionally on the here and now.

Try to focus intentionally only on what you are doing next and tune into the best possible experience you want to have. The more you break the day down into smaller portions and focus intentionally on those smaller portions, the easier it is to start seeing the results of your tuning.

3. Play “Would you rather?”

When something unpleasant grabs your attention, play the “would you rather” game:

Would you rather think about the person who gave you an attitude or the one who gave you a compliment?

Would you rather think about something in the news or pet your dog?

Would you rather stress about bills, or hold a penny and say, “More of these, please?”

Make up the choices.  One is presented by life. One is playfully created by you!

Have a little fun with this, and soon you’ll see attuning to love isn’t as hard as we make it to be.

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We all have the power to tune our own energy. We all have the power to notice our feelings as indicators of whether we’re amplifying or dampening our good energy. And we all have the capability to flow through this field of infinite love in a ways that feel far kinder.

If only the world knew we are not victims of one another, but rather super-tuners, still learning to wield the wand of our amazing focus, we’d revel in the precious gifts of this sensory experience and enjoy all life has to offer.

Have a blessed week,
Love,
Ann

Hi Everyone,

At a time when the world was on edge, fear was running rampant, and tensions were high, four human beings who had prepared their entire lives to fulfill a dream were propelled into space on the Artemis II. They rode a rocket with over 7 million pounds of thrust that took humans past Earth’s orbit for the first time in over 50 years.

I wept with joy hearing their positive messages of unity, love, and teamwork being broadcast from over 200,000 miles above the Earth. They sounded like the angels:

“We achieved so much not in spite of our differences, but because of them.”
“We’ve learned to give each other grace.”
“We love you.”

Seeing Earth without borders, they spoke of both the strength and fragility of our planet, the preciousness of living on this tiny blue orb in the vastness of space, and how coming together is our greatest strength. With humor, wisdom, and heart, they reminded us of our true human essence at a time when we were greatly in need.

None of them truly realized the impact of their mission while on the flight. They knew they were working to pave the way for a new lunar landing and ultimately for explorations to Mars. They hoped to unify humanity in some fashion. But they probably had no idea that they gave millions of people new faith in the goodness of the human race, a renewed desire to dream beyond what we know, and a demonstration of what humans can do and be when love for a cause and one another becomes the guiding light. I cannot get enough of their interviews. Their message, whether they mean it to be or not, is so soul-centered it brings me to tears of joy.

There is so much beauty in life.

It hasn’t been an easy year. So many are telling me about unexplained exhaustion or physical challenges.  It takes a lot more energy to stay focused on the good when so many are not.  It is no longer possible to stuff feelings, and those who haven’t learned to deal with them are feeling a little unhinged, to say the least. Yet there is still so much good.

Before cooking breakfast each morning, I marvel at the miracle of my eggs and say a silent prayer of appreciation for the chickens. I watch my basil plants reaching for the sun and appreciate their pungent perfume. The plants I’m rooting on the kitchen table are beginning to leaf out, and the birds are singing every morning. Much of the world may be at war, but the plants and animals are living in peace.

We can rest assured that in our lives, God is never gone, and the Divine is never done. The Source never stops sourcing love. And our angels are unwavering in their commitment to help us notice when they try to uplift and inspire us. Sometimes that is easy to believe, and at other times not so much. Nonetheless, whether we feel it or even believe it, heaven is there, trying to help.

Receiving this love can be as simple as a few deep breaths, or, in my case, this year, more naps. Sometimes it means distracting ourselves from a painful situation or giving up a struggle while we simply make ourselves feel as good as we can.

This is a year, if ever there was one, to grant ourselves grace, look for the good, and try to seek out joy in the simplest of pleasures.

Even amid challenges, there can be joy. Two weeks ago, I had a spendy day. My kitchen plumbing needed repair. My A/C needed maintenance, and my accountant needed to be paid. It all came at once. In the past, that would have caused me a lot of grief.  But now I just give thanks for a house to fix and an accountant to pay.

I ended up having an amazing time with the father-son plumber team, who not only did a great job but could have rivaled the best comedy routine I’ve ever seen. The more I laughed, the funnier they became. They played off one another and covered a wide variety of current events!  By the time they left, I had a new faucet that works better than any I’ve ever had and enough humor to fill my soul for days.

No matter what, the joy is there to be found.  Sometimes it just requires a little shift in focus.

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So if you feel tired, uninspired, or just need a bit more joy, here are a few ways to find it:

1. Seek Inspiration

As I mentioned, my latest source of joy is watching interviews with the astronauts who just returned from a nine-day trip around the moon. Tonight, before doing the newsletter, I watched a program on the positive use of technology.

I have books I can flip open for positive messages, and a subscription to “https://www.goodnewsinstead.com” which sends you positive news stories each day.

When you don’t have a lot of energy, seek the books, songs, articles, or people who can raise you up.

2. 2. Ponder the miracle of an everyday object

Pick up anything around you and look at it as if you could see it through the eyes of your soul. Imagine where it originated, or who dreamed it into being. Ask to get a sense of all the hands and hearts that poured their life and love into this object, its creation, and transportation, so that you could have it in your life today.

For example, someone tilled the soil and planted the seeds that grew into your salad. Someone harvested the lettuce and veggies, washed them, and stacked them in the store. And someone else designed the bowl and the equipment that made and shipped it. Someone tended to the olive trees that made the oil in your dressing, harvested, picked, pressed, mixed, bottled, and drove it to the store where you bought it. The love of thousands of souls lives in every salad bowl! That is a miracle!

The more you look for the miraculous in the mundane, the more magical life becomes.

3. 3. Dance, if only in your mind

Although it seems ridiculous, dancing can elevate your mood immediately. If you can’t dance physically, shut your eyes and imagine it. It will light up your brain and help remind the nervous system what it feels like to be free. A few minutes of this—real or imagined—can elevate your mood.

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There are many real challenges on this earth and many in our own lives. The astrologers tell us the energy is tough this year, and we feel it.  Fatigue is running rampant, and tempers can run short. But there is still joy to be found, and miracles all around. 

Take a moment here and there to look for what delights your soul. See if you can find the miracles in the mundane. And when you wobble, just look around again, and find the next miracle. Whether it be a left, the purr of your cat, a snort from your dog, the gigglig or children, the scent of your favorite soap, or just the sun on your face, there is so much good.

Tapping into it is not only a matter of spiritual survival, but also the easiest way we can help to elevate the vibration of a world in need.

Have a blessed week,
Love,
Ann