Life with Angels

Moving past chaos

2009-06-13T11:36:00.002-07:00

I'm typing this newsletter with two very crucial fingers on my right hand out of comission because I got sliced when a glass jar I was filling slipped out of my hands Saturday night. I started visualizing blue strands of energy fibers knitting the cut back together, and imagined an energetic zipper closing it up. The next morning it was already much better.

Nonetheless, when the accident first happened, it was hard for me not to fall into frustration. I have been feeling better in my body than I have in ages, my house was clean and organized, and I was enjoying an evening with friends. I had a gazillion things I was excited to do the next day and projects I was ready to tackle, that I didn't think I'd be able to do now.

Nonetheless, the angels have taught me well. When I got up Sunday morning instead of feeling sorry for myself, I sat still and prayed. "God this is your day. What do you want me to do with it? I had really wanted to do the newsletter and a few other things on the computer. I got the guidance that I could type after all and after sitting down for a few minutes and learning to use new fingers on different keys it worked. I was able to write this newsletter and get a few other things done on the computer that needed doing... without pain! That surprised me.

I had to wash the dogs to keep them bug free. I got guidance I could do that, just more slowly. The dog had an accident in the tub and we had to clean up and start over... again I could have fallen into serious despair over this mess, but there was no point in ruining my beautiful day so I just dealt with it and moved on. I ended up having a wonderful day, cooking a great dinner, and having fun with a friend who stopped by. I forgot all about the hardships, and even got guidance at night to pack my cut fingers with a paste made of slippery elm bark and water to help it heal. Both the slippery elm paste and the good attitude are working :)

Its so easy at times to spiral downhill when things go "wrong" in our lives. Its easy to slip into a negative vibration and dig a deeper hole. But if we just catch ourselves when we start to despair, allow ourselves to feel our feelings, then deal with the situation and move on, then we remain more present, powerful, and able to respond to life in a better way. The angels say with every breath we start our lives over once again. Beating ourselves up doesn't work. Had I beat myself up for dropping the jar my cut would not be healing so fast. Had I yelled at the dog it would have ruined his day and mine. Instead I gave him a hug, told him things happen when you get older and went on with life.

The angels once said, "Ann, if you are standing in the toilet, don't flush!!!" They were joking about not beating ourselves up if we find ourselves in a tough situation. It's SO true! So when you have those little moments in life (or big ones) where you're not too happy about what just happened, by all means let yourself feel, but then move forward. The next moment is a chance to reset your vibration and attract the comfort, help, guidance, and love that you need.

Time to flow

2009-06-06T11:35:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I knew I needed rest so I did all my chores and most of my errands the week before. I did the newsletter early in the week, answered emails and grocery shopped during my lunch breaks, did laundry and housecleaning on Friday night, went to the vet early on Saturday for the furry kids and then cleared the schedule. Nothing to do and nothing planned! I was thrilled.

That used to panic me.

We all say we want more time for ourselves. Yet it has been my experience that when people have time on their hands with nothing to do, no schedule, no chores, and no obligations, that they freak out! Relaxing is a skill most of us have to remember. I like the word "remember" ... it signifies to me that we gather all the members of our inner committee in our heads back together again! When we remember to relax we become one person once again instead of the myriad of voices that clamor for attention during our busy days.

Our society trains us to think that if we're not being productive, we're "wasting time"... as if time is a commodity that can run out and that we must cram everything possible into, every living second. "Guess what, Ann," the angels often remind me... "You have eternity! What is the rush to accomplish so much?" We have only one NOW. Might as well make the best of it. So last weekend, I turned off the voices that programmed me to be productive, and I made a vow to myself NOT to do anything but listen to my heart, and flow with my spirit. Time seemed to stretch on forever. I exercised in the mornings, cooked for the week, relaxed in the swimming pool, read a book, played with the dogs, visited a thrift store and found the jelly jars I needed for the jam I wanted to make, made the jam, read another book, watched the baby pigeons try out their wings, clipped all the magazines that had been sitting on my table for months and scanned in the articles I wanted to save, puttered around the house organizing stuff, invited friends for dinner Saturday and cooked for them, and the list goes on... Time stretched on forever. Everything was done at a slow leisurely pace. I felt unrushed, unhurried, an joyously unproductive. Only when writing this paragraph did I realize how much DID get acomplished. To me resting is sometimes sitting still, but more so resting is living in the flow, one moment at a time, doing what I feel like when I feel like it. We can't live this way all the time. I schedule my weekdays in detail. But when I can carve time out to go with the flow, I feel rejuvenated, rested, and relaxed... and even get a lot done without feeling rushed at all.

Living in the moment, we don't miss our lives. We feel like we have more time. But when we focus on the future or the past, we do miss the moments, we miss our lives, we miss the opportunities for heaven that are right here and right now,
and time flies. Why not spend a little time here and there - when you can - savoring every sweet second :)

Wonderful now

2009-05-30T11:34:00.000-07:00

I am constantly striving to live in the present. Being a person who packs a lot into her life I am guilty often of thinking of the next ten things I need to do, rather than focusing on the here and now. While going through a drive-through the other day to grab a quick lunch, I caught myself calculating the time to see if I could grab some groceries before running home to let my dogs out. The insanity of it all made me burst into laughter. I used a technique the angels gave me a long time ago to pull myself back into the present. I imagined all my thoughts as strings that went to the past and the future, and as I breathed in, I pulled those strings all back into my body. I did this a few times until I felt centered in the moment. Suddenly, lunch was all that mattered. Instead of eating in my car, I pulled over, sat down, enjoyed a leasurely lunch and fed the sparrows hovering around the table while I was at it. Miraculously I had plenty of time to grab the groceries without hurry and got home in time to care for the dogs.

Its easier to call myself into the present when things are easy as they were on that day. It is far more challenging to be present when we find ourselves in a difficult or uncomfortable situation. My memorial day holiday, for example, was memorable. For the past month, my digestion has been 'off' and uncomfy, but luckily during readings I am not at all focused on myself and my body and so I didn't pay much attention. I had conveniently scheduled a session with my friend Summer who channels Dr. Peebles a few months back and when it came time to talk to this marvelous angel, he told me I had quite an unusual parasite living in my intestines. YUK. He gave me a concoction to drink to help it out of its body and therefore out of mine. To say the ordeal was unpleasant is a magnificent understatement. I spent the weekend trying to be comfortable while things that shouldn't have ever been in anyone's body, let alone mine, found a way out. I didn't want to be present at all! I'm really good at going into meditation and getting my awareness into other realms, but the angels told me this type of escape wouldn't help me feel better faster! In fact, they said that if I had gathered my light all the way in my body I wouldn't have allowed in a bunch of other energies that wore me out and allowed this to happen.

So in spite of discomfort, I sat, breathed, and tried to be present with the needs of my body and soul, rather than trying to escape the pain and discomfort. My soul wanted to go outside so I sat in a lawn chair, listened to the birds, and appreciated the buzzing bees and beautiful flowers. My body wanted to rest at one point so I laid on the couch and appreciated the soft texture of the quilt on it that I totally take for granted most days. My body wanted to walk so I slowly walked around the house focusing on my spine's alignment (something I need to do anyway). And miraculously in spite of pain and discomfort, I had a very restful weekend. The parasite is gone, I feel wonderful and rested, my spine is more aligned than ever, I got to enjoy my own home, spend time with the dogs who are now quite happy about this, and really gather my energy back from all the projects, concerns, and people I serve into my own body. I feel wonderful.

So even if you don't like where you're at or what is going on, being present presents gifts you can't even imagine. It helps the tough situations move on through and helps you find the blessings in them.

When you find your mind wandering far away from the moment, breathe, imagine pulling those energy lines of thought back into you until all the beautiful light of your soul is back in your own body and your own aura. You'll notice that everything looks crisper, brighter, and more colorful. Ideas to help you solve problems and issues in your life will come more easily. You'll hear your own heart, know your own mind, feel your own body, and heed the truths in your own emotions. If you're seeking contact with angels, you'll even hear them more easily. And suddenly the people in your life won't tug on you so much because you can be truly 'with' them when you are with them.

This is an ongoing discipline for me, but the rewards are many! So here I go again, thinking about whether or not I'll have time to finish this newsletter before my next appointment. I remind myself, "Stop, breathe, pull yourself back into the present." Ah there we go. It doesn't really matter, does it? If I get it done 'in time' that's wonderful, if not God has other plans :) I trust.

Be who you are... without fear

2009-05-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm a grateful person. I give thanks for the smallest things like the smell of flowers on the breeze, a slight bit of relief when I'm tired, a sweet buzz of energy running through my hands. When my dogs smile at me I have waves of warm gratitude wash through my heart and when I'm able to help a client find peace, I give thanks for that too.

But when it comes to receiving thanks, I have had to learn a lot. Its been my experience with myself and hundreds of clients over the years that when we're doing what God set us up to do, we tend to downplay the gift, think its nothing to fuss over, and gloss over our own value.

The angels say if we could dig deep inside ourselves and share our God-given gifts with others, we would find greater abundance and create joyful businesses, and live lives imbued with grace. Even if you don't have to work, you will find great satisfaction in sharing the gifts God gave you in some fashion - perhaps with family and friends. It makes the world a better place.

Its so sad that we have a notion that you can't earn money or be of value doing what comes easily and naturally to you. I had to work at honing my abilities but I used to assume that my intuitive nature was 'common sense' and that I was just 'oversensitive.' I had no idea it would be of value to others. I thank God He chased me until I learned to trust the divine presence in my life. Over the years I have come to accept the fact that what comes naturally to me is of value to others. However, I had to wade through a lot of fear when I started in this profession. I was totally afraid of people's judgments. I hid behind a sign in the metaphysical bookstore where I started doing readings so that if any of my old engineering buddies walked by they wouldn't see me. When people asked what I do I would say, "Um I'm a consultant." Now I just own who I am, what I do, and come clean with people. They either love it or hate it, but I've accepted who I am.

I think this fear of judgment and fear that one's natural gifts and talents are 'nothing special' holds people back from really living their passions. Its sad that the stigma of 'starving artist' is heaped on so many talented souls who really CAN make a living doing what they love. The artists who make a living at it didn't let that stop them - they persevered. They shared their enthusiasm for their own work until they were contagious and the world caught on. If you can truly OWN the gift in what you love doing then you will project that enthusiasm and others will catch it. It DOES take perseverence to start a business doing what you love, or even if it isn't a business it takes courage to share your gifts with others. I taught one person classes and sat in the bookstore all day on the slowest day of the week, sometimes doing only one fifteen minute reading a day when I started - $6 after taxes and the bookstore's cut. It was terrifying. But something in me said, "Keep going." Better to be terrified doing what you love and to keep going and trust God than to return to a life that had no passion and no heart. To this day, looking back, I am not sure how I survived. True, I had an apartment and expenses that were much lower, but every month was a terrifying tight time, and yet God provided, somehow, always. It was worth it. I'm glad I faced those fears of financial ruin. I'm glad I kept going even when there was little reason. I'm glad the one person classes turned into five people, and twelve, then twenty, and more... I'm glad the one a day readings turned into packed days. It didn't happen overnight.

So if you love something, do it. Stop letting fear of failure, fear of judgment, and fear that you aren't special stop you. Do it on the side and work if you have to at another job to pay the bills. Do it because you love it. Share it with others and ask for donations, or charge and hold your head up high. Make the world a better place by sharing yourself - the real you - and watch how the world returns the love. Some won't. Some will judge, criticize, and do anything but support you. But there will also be those who come out of the woodwork, so to speak, to tell you how much they love what you do.

I got a huge dose of love this week from some friends who decided to remind me of how much I had done for them over the years. It had never sunk into my brain that just by being me, I had deeply affected their lives. I didn't think of anything I did as anything 'special' - it was just being who I am. You can 'just' be who you are too. And that is more than enough :)

This week be who you are. Share yourself or your talents with someone. And enjoy the beautiful echo that comes back in return.

$2 and a lot of love...

2009-05-16T11:32:00.000-07:00

When grocery shopping earlier in the week, a well dressed young man in the parking lot asked for $2 for the bus. I honestly answered that I would let him know in a few minutes - I had been planning to get one specific item at the store and wasn't sure if I would have the $2 leftover, and I didn't have the time to run to the ATM and get more. I left it to God.

Sure enough I did have the $2 and gave it to him. As I pulled out of the parking lot I saw him walking in the sweltering heat, aiming for the bus stop a few blocks away. I stopped and offered him a ride. I don't do this often, but the angels said he was ok. I asked him where he was going. He looked so ashamed and told me that he was working for a telemarketing company although he hated bugging people in the sales position. "At least you are willing to work," I said. "That's nothing to be ashamed of." "What do you like to do?" I asked him. He brightened up and told me how he had been a waiter and loved interacting with people but due to cutbacks had lost his job. "I may get it back in the fall," he said. The angels prompted me to simply say, "It might be sooner, you never know." I told him I'd keep him in my prayers. Near tears, he looked into my eyes, and told me, "You don't know how much your kindness means to me." I drove off feeling like the wealthiest woman on earth. Being able to share, not the $2, but the love of God with this young man made me feel very abundant. When you know you have that love in you, that's when you feel true abundance. That is what we all want to feel and share. Those moments are heaven. Sometimes you need an angel. Sometimes you are called to be one.

When we listen to our guidance, God sends us to help people who need help and makes us feel reticent when He doesn't want us to give. In this fashion, by listening to our hearts we give as God directs. Had I given this young man the $2 immediately I would have missed giving him a ride and talking with him. Because I was honest about not knowing if I'd have it or not, the timing worked and we had this beautiful interaction. When you trust your feelings in each moment - you may not understand why, but that is where the magic happens.

As for my finances, interestingly enough they mirrored my feelings that day. I found out one huge bill for a home repair, that I was expecting, was discounted by 10%. The universe is vibrational. When you know you have something in you to share and you share it, you open up to receive more. Like water going through a pipe, we must both give and receive. In receiving we give. In giving we receive.

Choose love over being right

2009-05-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

I am in the throes of new lessons on balancing living 100% in my truth while at the same time allowing others' to have their truths. Sometimes I shine at it, other times I bombed. The subject has been coming at me from all angles.

A few things really struck me in this process of growth. A friend told me about a type of exercise in China that people were being persecuted and killed for performing, simply because there was a large following and it revved up people's spiritual energy and a prior government feared it would be more powerful than they were. The videos on youtube were horrifying to me - it reminded me of the persecution of the women during the Inquisition and the persecution of the Jewish people in the holocaust. Any time any group is singled out for persecution, there is a sickness in human hearts and that sickness is fear... fear that the ones who instigate the persecution are not powerful, which really comes from the ignorance and the misunderstanding of the fact that they along with all of us are beloved by God and powerful beyond measure. Ironic that the the ones who instigate such atrocities will be greeted at end of their lives by the a long line of souls they thought they 'killed' who greet them with the understanding that they are eternal, that a soul can never be killed, and that an ideology cannot be stamped out by physical death. It is none other than the right hand beating the left for one human to do harm to another. It is domestic violence of the worst sort, for we are all one family. And yet, the angels remind me, we must stop beating ourselves up and we must stop beating up others for their ideologies in order to raise our own consciousness because only then can the world truly change. It starts with us.

Secondly, a client sent me an email saying the Catholic church had deemed Reiki unacceptable and that, in the words of the Catholic Bishops, "in using Reiki for one's spiritual health, 'there are important dangers.'" I was appalled. Reiki is a gentle system of assisting in the body's natural healing abilities, in which the practitioner allows healing energy to flow through their hands into another. Whether you call this energy chi, prana, Holy Spirit, Universal life force or whatever, there is only one healing energy and movement of God in the universe. I couldn't believe what I was reading. But then the angels stepped in and reminded me that it is not my place to put down another's belief, EVEN if it puts down my own. And so I had to take a step back, breathe, calm my natural desires to respond to this with outrage, and to remember that everyone has a right to the beliefs and the world views that they choose to espouse. And we don't all have to agree.

I've been presented with numerous opportunities over the past few weeks to both express my truth and allow others to have theirs. In some cases I've done it very well and in others I've failed miserably. I have a lot more practice before I can consistently allow others their opinion of me and my life, while still maintaining my own opinions with grace and diplomacy. Its a fine line between being a doormat and a warrior. Its a fine line to know your truth and allow others theirs without judgment and argument. Its a fine line between the soul's truth that all stand in their own sacred circle of perspective and the human ego's need for acknowledgment and validation. I'm trying to walk that fine line now, and its not easy... but it IS worth the effort because when I can, greater love emerges. And even when I mess up, I learn.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put aside our fears of one another's belief systems, our need to be right and righteous, our pride, and our desire to build ourselves up and validate ourselves by putting other's down. Wouldn't it be an amazing world if, like children, we could approach one another with a sense of discovery and a total tolerance for the amazing diversities we all share. I am being idealistic here, but I believe that idealism starts with us. So I am watching myself more closely, working even harder to speak my truth with compassion while allowing others' theirs. I'm working harder not to judge those who would judge me. I am working to not be prejudiced against the prejudice, to send love to the haters, and to realize that we are all part of God's creation. Why not choose to espouse the greatest commandment of all - Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. It starts there. I prayed for the torturers along with the victims, and I prayed for the Catholic Bishops as well as the Reiki practitioners worldwide. I prayed for those who are upset with me and those I've been upset with as well. In God's love we are all one family. Someday, maybe, the world will figure this out. For now, we can start by choosing to live that way - one loving encounter at a time.

Swine flu - no worries

2009-05-02T11:31:00.000-07:00

I haven't been watching the news and so when my mother asked if I was worried about swine flu, I asked why I should be. She filled me in and I have since learned what a production is being made of this. As I often say, history repeats - same stuff different day. There have been all manner of plagues throughout history, and yet the world has not come to an end. The angel message is particularly pertinent at this time in my life. My body has been very demanding lately. It demands that I move move and so I'm doing tai chi again. It has wanted more grains, veggies, and fruits, and so I've adjusted my shopping and cooking accordingly. It has wanted me to sloooooow down and so I've been taking time to be still. And I feel better than I have in ages. I can feel the energy breaking through new channels as I stretch, and opening up new gateways of understanding.

I used to ignore and push my body totally. I'd be hungry but keep answering emails. I'd want to exercise and move but wouldn't take time. I'd want to rest but convince myself there was too much to do. Now I listen to my body and have more time and energy as a result. We forget this. The tyranny of the mind has bullied the body for far too long and finally I'm not standing for it any longer. I believe this new round of panic and flu is just nature's way of reminding us to be in balance. I'm not going to get sucked into it. I only get sick when I don't listen to myself. So remember, as my dad used to say, you're bigger than the bugs, and your spirit is stronger than the bugs. And that goes for any so-called negative energy out there, be it a flu bug or an angry person in traffic. Our light is stronger than any dark if we stay in that space. Love drives fears away. And so bless what you fear, thank it for its purpose and then tell it that it can go. In this way, friends have cured cancers. I've driven out bugs once I got their usefulness.

Last weekend, I was in total crampy pain. I tune into the female pain on earth once a month, and although I've been trying to kick that subconscious habit, I'm not there yet. I caught myself relating to every hurting woman I've ever known and I stopped. I thanked the cramps for reminding me that women have suffered, but then told them that I no longer wanted to relate to this suffering; that instead of keeping misery company, I wanted to stand as a beacon of hope that women (indeed all people) everywhere could feel safe, powerful, and loved. And then I went to answer emails and there in the batch was one from a dear female client who had suffered in many ways her whole life. At the end she included a prayer and a note of love and gratitude. As I read her email, the full force of her gratitude and love hit me, God's divine energy washed through me, and the cramps were gone... instantly. The more I embrace everything, the more I love it, acknowledge its purposefulness, thank it, then ask it to move on, the quicker things wash through. I'm not perfect at it yet. I will always be learning, but it sure is worth trying because it works!

Patience is my friend

2009-04-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

I passed a "Don't Walk" signal today - you know the kind with a red hand for don't walk, and a green hand that signals when you can cross the intersection. However, this one was different - it actually had a counter, counting down the seconds until you could cross the street. And I thought to myself, "Good grief! We have become so impatient in our society that we have to know the number of the seconds until we can cross the street." What happened to taking time to smell the roses, appreciate the blue sky, or spend time in some quiet contemplation. What happened to time spent talking to friends? Why do our to do lists become so almighty important that we forget what truly is?

I have been working very hard the past several years to appreciate each moment I get rather than rushing to the next. And still I am learning that. Instead of bemoaning the things I have to do and rushing through them so I can get to what I want to do, I'm learning to look for the opportunity in all things. On the way home from tai chi, my car told me it needed its oil and air filter changed. Technically speaking, Zippy, my car angel told me. I'm no mechanic but when Zippy talks, I listen. So off to the repair shop I went and it turns out that it was a good thing I did. Sitting there waiting for my car to get fixed, I had a blast. I've been eating so well that the free coffee and chocolate doughnuts were a real treat. Then, miraculously, class material for Heaven and Earth began to pour into my head and since the angels had suggested I bring a notebook and pen, I captured it. Next I had time to meditate and there in a waiting area, surrounded by people, cars, and you name it, I slipped into bliss.

Two hours later I had the energy rush of a lifetime. Something in me popped and heat like fire flamed through my entire body. It felt AMAZING. This was the rush of God energy I've been waiting for to move through old gunk stored in my body. I laid down immediately and let it run through me. My knees were so weak I couldn't walk. When the heat finally subsided, I downed half a can of Pringles, a banana, some Emergen-C, a quesadilla, and dark chocolate, which felt wonderful - earlier I had wondered and wondered why I hadn't been able to think of lunch. It grounded me.

I am convinced it was embracing the time in the car repair shop, with both patience and gratitude that gave me the opportunity to allow God's energy to move within me. I have learned over and over and over again to let go, and let God manage my time. I am STILL learning to embrace each moment more fully without rushing to the next. I still have an old habit of letting my mind get ahead of my 'now.' But with practice, each day it gets easier to embrace what is in front of me - to say this is what IS now, and this is what I can make of it.

Patience, which used to be the bane of my existence has become a dear friend.

Catch the inspiration waves

2009-04-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

I sit down every week to channel the angel messages without a clue as to what will be said. I have been trying to do them earlier in the week so I do not have to do my newsletter late at night on Thursday or Friday and miraculously, I'm finding bits of time to get this accomplished. This one for example, happened very early Tuesday morning after my meditation and before my clients arrived. It was one of those moments where I had to run to the computer and 'catch the wave' of information flowing through me.

We all have to 'catch the wave' when inspiration hits us. We get a good idea but say we'll do it later and then we lose momentum or forget about it entirely. The angels told me years ago to keep a little journal and jot down the good ideas I have in all areas of my life - for work, for entertainment, etc. In this fashion, when I have a spare moment, I can look at the list to see what appeals. Sometimes if we don't take advantage of the inspirations in our life we lose them. Last weekend when a friend asked if I wanted to go to the Hindu fire ceremony on Easter Sunday, it appealed. It was not the norm for me. It was not even my tradition. But the idea felt right and so I committed and within two days I had a car full of friends ready to go with us. Even though I woke up before my alarm rang at 3:30 am I was wide awake. The drive was easy. We got perfect seats across from the dear woman who presided over the ceremony and is known as an incarnation of Divine Mother in India, and is affectionately called "Amma" which means mother. It was an amazing ceremony, that lasted 4 1/2 hrs but seemed to go by much more quickly. A small fire pit was set up in front of her chair. The alter area was beautifully decorated and many of us sat on the ground around this area. Each section of the ceremony was dedicated to praying to various aspects of God - the protector, the ultimate light, the masculine aspect of God, the feminine aspect of God, the abundant aspect of God, etc. In each section, mantras (like the hymns I grew up with, only in a different language) were sung 108 times. It was kind of like the way we Catholics recited the prayers in the rosary, only in this tradition the sounds in the mantras have an energy that builds and builds as you repeat them. I felt the energy continuing to build as we prayed in silence while singing, even though I didn't understand the words. As the songs were sung, Amma threw various items in the fire. The fire represents the light of God and the things thrown into it were offerings to God's light - sweet honey, fruits, foods, flowers, etc., all representing offering what is good and true about ourselves and life to God. The smoke blew in our faces for 4 1/2 hrs but surprisingly it didn't bother me at all. I kept inhaling it and it seemed to purify my body, mind, and soul. Amma acknowledged the celebration of Easter as well as the one of her own tradition, and afterwards the crowd in attendance received a surprise when the hosts announced they would be feeding us a delicious Indian meal. It was a beautiful ceremony and I could feel the presence of God and Christ there as strongly as I felt Him in all other true and deep spiritual gatherings and religious ceremonies that I had attended throughout my life.

When you get an inspiration, it may not be something that sounds like "you" because we all think we know who we are to some level. And yet it seems there is always more to discover. Be willing to branch out and try new things if they appeal - it is here that we keep ourselves, alive, open to new opportunities, and willing to be guided. In being open to the new in life, you slow down the aging process, and learn more about yourself. Have an adventure every now and then even if it is trying a new meal - it shakes up old stuck energy, creates movement in your life and may even be the first step in answering your prayers!

The feminine side of God

2009-04-11T11:27:00.000-07:00

I love Easter. I grew up Catholic, and it is one of my favorite holidays. As a child my devotion to God was so strong that I felt His presence in my heart and Easter was the celebration of God's love triumphing over darkness and ignorance and fear. It was joyous. I wanted to dance in church. I felt the love and glory of God so strongly on Easter. And of course, later in the day, the chocolate bunnies, cheese bread, and coconut lamb cake thrilled me as well. So this Easter, when I got guidance to do something out of the ordinary, I questioned the guidance. Instead of baking cheese blintzes, eggs, and fruit for my friends and making baskets this year I'll be going to a Hindu ceremony to celebrate the Divine Mother. That's a break from tradition to be sure, and yet I am so drawn to it so, no questions asked, I'm going. I live that way, and it brings new wonders into my life that my brain could never dream up.

Its an interesting year. I've been witnessing the rising up of the Divine Feminine energy within both men and women. This is the energy of the heart, the energy of trust, or waiting patiently for new things to be birthed in our lives. It is the energy that nurtures and cares for all and yet, like a firm mother, will not put up with bad behavior and untruths. It is the presence of God, as expressed through each one of us, that says, be silent, wait, listen. I AM always there for you. It is the presence of God that says, as a mother would say, "You are all beautiful exactly as you are. You are all special in different ways." And the rising up of the Divine Feminine is calling forth, the energy of the Divine Masculine - that part of ourselves that listens to and supports our hearts, that listens to our bodies, that honors our creative expressions, our feelings, and uses logic to balance all these with the needs and demands of the world.

For too long the false masculine energy has dominated our spirits and therefore this world. The false masculine energy seeks to control. It is the mind silencing the outcry of the heart. It is the energy of logic trying to explain away our feelings. It is the energy that pushes, dominates, and controls the body rather than listening to its inner wisdom. It is the energy of manipulation and control born from feelings of being powerless. It is the ego unwilling to surrender to its greater truth that it is part of God's love.

So within each one of us we are striving for the resurrection of ALL that God is within us - the head that serves the heart; the logic that honors emotions; the mind that listens to and cooperates with the body. We are learning not to objectify one another and instead treat ourselves and one another as whole people. It is beautiful growth to see the Divine Feminine rising up, calling forth the Divine Masculine to honor and support it... within each one of us. It doesn't matter whether you're male or female - this is the growth within and the growth without. Men are learning to find their hearts without losing their strength. Women are learning to be strong without losing their hearts. This is the balance we all seek. Even mother earth is sputtering and shaking to help her children come together as one. Its going around.

I had a dip into the old energies this week. I got a blessing from a woman who, in India, is known as Incarnation of Divine Mother. I asked her to please release past life fears, and any old pains within me that prevented me from more fully experiencing and expressing God's love this lifetime. I felt her pulling something out of my crown that felt like tarry goop, and within two days I was reliving feelings from childhood that had me remembering what it was like to be the ugly little good girl at the bus stop while the high school 'bad' girls made fun of me and reeled in all the boys that never noticed me. Good gravy, I forgot I ever felt like that. Thank GOD I don't now :) But like healing waters washing through me, a client 'coincidentally suggested I look up old high school classmates on the web, and I ran across the little girl who made fun of me the most - now a grown woman - and saw her with compassion, for the insecure soul that she was at the time, who felt her body was the only asset she had that could earn her love and affection. At deeper levels, I owned who I really am, always was, and will continue to be - one with integrity, compassion, an unwillingness to waiver in my integrity or cheapen myself in any way to 'get' things, people, riches, or whatever in the material world, but rather someone who has chosen to walk in grace, walk according to God's guidance, and to live with a committment to learning more about love every day. Its funny, when you ask for a greater resurrection of God's presence within you, old misunderstandings of yourself must die. I am no longer the ugly little girl at the bus stop. Two days later some friends told me how they originally felt 'priviledged' to spend time with me since I was with the 'in' crowd. I couldn't believe my ears? Me, the "in" crowd? Not even! I am just one of God's 6.4 billion special souls on this planet... as are we all.

The feminine side of God knows we are all equal in her eyes and loves us all the same. The masculine side of God takes care of us all equally if we are willing to let him. Its time we own that within ourselves.

So from the traditions of my upbringing - Happy Easter, and from my soul now, as the angels say, celebrate this time of resurrecting the presence of God within. And to all my Jewish friends, a blessed and happy passover to you!

Make friends with your body

2009-04-04T11:25:00.000-07:00

My goodness, growth is going around these days! Focusing on God's guidance within is the only thing that works anymore. The old human strategies and manipulations just aren't working.

When I agreed with the heavens to teach my upcoming class "Heaven and Earth" I knew in my heart that one of the few areas where I wasn't experiencing heaven yet was in my physical body. I suspected I'd be learning a few things along the way about releasing old patterns and allowing heaven to move into my body as well as my mind and emotions. After all I've been happier than ever before, but physically, well a bit of a train wreck as of late!! I've been in knots, ribs have popped out, my neck was out and I KNEW that something inside of me that was not my truth was hanging on for dear life, trying to keep me from moving forward. And while I am doing most of the 'right' things physically, I knew that until I solved the spiritual issues, this was going to continue.

Since I was feeling as if I had a blind spot in this area, I got a session with my friend Summer (www.summerbacon.com) who channels Dr. Peebles in spirit. He can always nail the issues I can't quite see. I was told that since I'm now living mostly in alignment with my heart and God's guidance I'm taking better care of myself emotionally and mentally than ever before. But, the angels continued, that brings up loads of old anxieties in my subconscious that have had my body all twisted up. When I've disappointed or upset people in the past they've hurled unkind comments and behaviors my way - being so psychic and sensitive that hurt as much as if I'd been punched. Of course, the angels reminded me, that I took this unkindness into myself, and I didn't have to. It was ME that felt I SHOULD please everyone and so it was ME that accepted the 'punishments' for not doing so. My body wasn't too happy with all this and was just twisting up and protecting itself from MY ego's need to accept people's upsets. Ah ha!! Problem solved. I started to resolve that from now on I would ignore any unkind comments and walk away from any upsetting behaviors. I apologized to my body for putting up with such nonsense in the past and made a pact not to do so in the future. And suddenly my body breathed a HUGE sigh of relief and started to unwind. It is a process. My body is learning to trust ME again. It still reacts instinctually to unkindnesses but unwinds so much more quickly now since I am not taking them in.

We can make friend with our bodies. After all they are the physical vehicle for our spirit while we are here on this earth. They are a gift and a miracle, and they only go awry when we refuse to listen to our spirits. (There are some exceptions of people who come in, or take on physical conditions to learn or to teach others, but this does not apply to the majority of the population).

Our culture, sadly, condones and perpetuates violent and constant criticism against our bodies. We're told by the media that we're too fat, or too thin. Our noses are too big. Our hair is too wild. Our wrinkles too deep. Our skin tone too uneven. I was once told to get my teeth whiter and to never ever wear sleeveless shirts on camera because they made my arms look fat. One year our butts are too big, and according to next celebrity trend, they're too small. Or like me, we've push ourselves when our bodies are screaming, "Rest, stop, let me breathe!" We have got to stop this insanity and make peace with our bodies, or we'll never quite have heaven on earth. After all, heaven is not about having more stuff, but rather about feeling the divine presence within, and if you aren't at peace with your physical body, that's not the easiest thing to do. I am at peace with my wild hair, my tendency to gain weight in the winter, the fact that my skin tone is spotted and uneven in places, and that my teeth aren't perfectly white or straight, and that my arms may well look a little large on camera. The condition of my soul is more important to me. Sure, I primp and try to look my best, but I know that I'm a soul living in a body and it is more important to me that my soul shines than whether or not I look perfect, look small or large, or have a few wrinkles. I've earned them, after all.

But I DID need to stop the nonsense about pushing myself and taking in the unkind comments of the world. And after just a week of doing so I am feeling so much better! I've set new rules for who and what is allowed in my dream state while I'm sleeping. I've set new rules with spirits about what behaviors are and aren't allowed in readings. And I'm thanking my body for both teaching me, and putting up with me all these years. On a hike last Saturday I kept checking in with my body, asking if the pace was alright. It was the slowest hike I ever took and yet so gloriously beautiful and rewarding because I listened to this vehicle of my soul and allowed it to go at it's pace rather than the pace set by my ego.

When was the last time you thanked your body for all it does for you? When was the last time you asked it what IT wanted to eat and stopped judging the answer? Years ago a woman in one of my classes did the homework to go home and find something positive to say to a body part that she'd hated. She thanked her large hips every day for helping her carry her children. And lo and behold without any changes to diet and exercise, she lost five pounds that week. So listen to your body. Tell it that it was safe and secure and loved and that you aren't going to push it or punish it with judgment. Our bodies are, after all, the glorious and miraculous vehicle for our souls while we are here upon the earth and they deserves respect and kindness. The more honoring we are to our bodies, the happier and safer we feel. Grounding our spirit deeply into the physical body by listening to it and honoring it IS work when we're used to pushing or criticizing it rather than listening to and honoring it. Nonetheless, the rewards of listening to and cooperating with your body is well worth the effort. We take care of our cars after all - we give them the right fuel and maintain them when they are in need - we should do the same for our physical bodies as well. After all, the option to trade them and upgrade only occurs once at the end of our lives :)

Make friends with your body this week and see how much better you feel!

Bless the mess, get on with the rest

2009-03-28T11:24:00.000-07:00

Its quite a year. Although the news is all gloom and doom, many of the lightworkers I've talked to felt a strange sense of excitement at the beginning of the year. Its our time to give, to share, to shine, and to really bring the truth of Love into a world sadly in need of it. It is also a year when we better all trust in a big way that God is guiding our lives. I've received so many suggestions over the years on how I can become more financially successful, more well known, etc. And yet as I wrote to one friend this week, I did all that at one point in my life and all I got from it was "success" according to the way the world defines it... not happiness. Since I've started living by heart, rather than strategizing to plan out my entire life, I'm happy. And when I ignore my heart and my guidance, there are clear indications that I'm off kilter. Earlier this week, for example, I got sick for the first time since 2005. I kept getting guidance to rest, wanted to rest, and didn't rest, and therefore invited a bug in to help me rest! After a few days of solid sleep, I thanked the bug for helping to knock me out, told it that it had achieved its mission, and off it went. It could have turned into the two to three week virus that was going around but since I got the message and listened this time, it left quickly.

Life is like that. When you're living in the moment and listening to guidance, life flows. When you're not, things go a bit haywire. Of course we have to give up our need to control life. Things may not happen when we want them to. The more frantic we get, the more slowly things manifest. The more patient we are and the more we live in the moment, the more we get out of God's way and allow things that we want into our lives. I used to teach manifesting. I loved watching people put out their intent, let go if it, like releasing a balloon with a wish on it to heaven, and then going on with enjoying their lives on a day to day basis. Suddenly, like magic, the wheels of the universe turned and their dreams finally came true.

The angels once said manifesting is like placing an order at your favorite restaurant. If you keep running in the kitchen asking the cook if he heard you and if he's making your dish - your fear and insecurity interfere with the process! You slow your manifestation down. Likewise in life, if you ask God for something and live in constant fear and insecurity that you won't have it, your ego, not the divine presence within you has possessed you and hijacked the manifesting process.

Lately I've seen a lot of ego-hijackings! It seems to be running rampant! Old parts of the self that are fearful, insecure, or upset seem to be trying to take over many people. These are old parts of the soul that can no longer cohabitate with the real true self. Its kind of like that show on TV "Me or the dog" instead, its "me or the insecure old parts of self" - they can't live in the same body anymore. One example stands out. A dear client who I've read for in the past very easily came to see me. I could not get a thing. I felt like I was running into a brick wall. And so I asked his permission to talk to whatever part of his psyche that was blocking me. He agreed. I tuned in and said, "Who inside of you doesn't want to talk to me?" "F-off!" I heard back. "No one cares. Nothing works. This is all a bunch of #@@$! God doesn't care about me." Woah!! I had tuned into an old wounded part of his spirit that was trying to possess him. After we talked he admitted that lately he felt like all his desires were useless dreams, and that nothing was every really going to work in his life and that he should just give up and settle for mediocre. The angels gave him homework - to contstantly tell this part of himself that he wasn't going to let it run... or ruin his life. And he left with his true divine spirit in charge once again.

The truth of you is magnificent beyond imagination, powerful, loving, compassionate, and wise. The truth of you loves and trusts God as his presence is revealead within you. The true you is patient, trusting, guided, and safe. The false selves are falling away and some of them go kicking and screaming, but the good news, is that they are losing ground. God is coming to the surface within all of us, and this is driving the darkness up and out into the light.

Celebrate the purge that is going on - on the earth and within each of us - because these old beliefs, patterns, and fears are the demons that have darkened our light, made us forget who we really are, and prevented us from being the truly powerful and loving beings that we really are. God is in charge! Surrender to love. Surrender to truth. And if/when you don't and you manifest a minor mess, bless it, learn from it, and get back into truth. I don't beat myself up for my goofs anymore. I just learn from them. And this makes them move on quickly and fairly easily.

As the angels joke, bless the mess, learn and get on with the rest!! Truth, trust, faith, and love are the qualities that we want to embrace these days! Truly, nothing else works!

A thorny momen

2009-03-21T11:23:00.000-07:00

I had a thorny moment this week. It wasn't something I was proud of, but it was an opportunity ripe for growth. In the process of learning more about heaven on earth, so I can teach it more deeply, I have been learning to live by heart and surrender to God's guidance in all things even if that means being misunderstood or disappointing others. Its not an easy lesson. And because I'm not 100% comfortable with it yet, I've received a plethora of ugly and unkind responses lately from people who are upset that I don't do what they want. These help me learn not to take it personally.

Earlier in the week a woman on the list emailed and asked me to teach with her. I politely and honestly told her I wasn't interested and wished her the best. She wrote back that she had hoped I would want to expand my capacity to serve "more" people. Something in my psyche flipped and I got upset. Serve more? In my spare time? I have just recently really got the lesson that I am serving based on my God given guidance rather than being willing to allow my own ego or the desires of others guide me. And not being 100% comfy with that new reality, I got defensive.

In retrospect I realize that her response was innocent. Unfortunately I didn't take the time to breathe and tune in first and before I could think, that unconscious little part of me wrote back and said that I didn't do guilt trips and lived by heart. Clearly that was not the evolved thing to do on my part. Not only did I misunderstand her intent, but I didn't take the time to examine my reaction before pressing the "send" key.

Understandably she withdrew from the mailing list, told me she had to stop recommending me to anyone, and said my vibe was not what she had thought. By this time sanity was setting in and I sat and meditated and realized I was clearly in the wrong. I sent her a sincere and humble apology. I have no idea if it was accepted or not. She, most likely, will go through life thinking I'm the biggest hypocrite on the planet - that was simply her experience of me.

We have all had these 'thorny' moments in our lives when we do or say things we regret. I have a friend who knows one of the greatest spiritual leaders on the planet and he says even this pure and holy soul has his moments. No one escapes their humanity. And although we call these moments 'mistakes' at the human level, the angels constantly remind us that they are just lessons and opportunities to grow. They're opportunities to look inside of ourselves and own more of the light that we are.

So how do you handle these "thorny" moments with grace after you've had one?

First, own you stuff. This woman's statement about me doing "more" triggered an old part of myself that measured my worth in the numbers I served and the projects I accomplished, rather than simply feeling the divinity and integrity of my spirit. And so my defensive statement to her, was really, more accurately, a statement to that part of myself that I no longer wanted to allow to run and ruin my life. It made me realize that I had come along way and no longer judged my value based on my 'accomplishments.' I just wasn't yet 100% comfortable in that new reality and got defensive.

Secondly, forgive yourself. We do our best in each moment. We're all learning and we're all growing. There is no point in beating yourself up if you are willing to own your stuff and learn. If you've learned you've gotten the gift out of the experience. Let it go.

And last but not least clean up after yourself. Apologize sincerely without justification or defense. Make amends if necessary. Do unto others what you would have them do unto you... as soon as you are conscious enough to do it! Then accept whatever response or lack of response you get and let it go. Your apology may be rejected but as the angels say, "Rejection is just redirection." Move forward.

And so Spring has sprung! Time for new life and new growth. Its time to allow whatever truths lie inside of us to come to the surface. Like a seed pushing aside the dirt to burst into light, our growth is sometimes graceful, sometimes awkward, but as long as its growth, we're doing what we came to do. Be nice to you during those human moments. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, clean up any messes, and celebrate the greater truths and awareness that the situations have revealed. Every day is a day to celebrate new life and new birth!

Let love be your business

2009-03-14T11:22:00.000-07:00

Although the angel message this week might sound simple it is totally a discipline to put it into practice. I signed up to teach a class called Heaven and Earth and now life is challenging me to TRULY put this into practice! Sunday morning I woke up with a nasty bug trying to get me. I have been exposed to sick people now for weeks and rarely get a thing if I take care of myself so this totally caught me by surprise. My throat and lungs were starting to itch and feel congested, I couldn't breathe out one side, and my first thought was "No way!" I was not about to get sick. It is spring, my favorite time of year, I don't want to take time off so getting sick wasn't an option. I affirmed truth... "Well being exists inside of me now!" I just had to find it and focus on it. I proceeded to focus on the divine light and the HEALTH that was already there inside of me rather than focusing on "Uh oh I'm getting sick." I sat quietly and pictured and felt the light in my heart. I expanded it outward with my imagination and focused on the flow of God's love into me, through me, and out of me, as if I were the core of an apple and light was circulating in, through, and out of me. Then I focused on the side I could breathe through. I focused on how good it felt to breathe and I remembered times of vibrant health and set my sights there. I asked the angels to support me in this exercise, to help me focus on the health that was there and to dissolve whatever illusions were trying to grab me by the toes and make me sick. By the time an hour had passed I was breathing clearly, the scratchy feeling was gone, and I was ahead of the bug. I sent it love and thanked it for reminding me to own my truth. Of course I did the human thing and ran for my zinc, vitamin C, anti-oxidants, and .. yum, yum, raw garlic! By the end of the day - vibrant health!! No bug! I was so excited. I felt better than ever.

I'm experimenting every day with finding heaven within. Its already there. We just have to find whatever small parts we can feel, focus on them, and amplify that light, well being, and truth. I'm feeling the pain in my body that came from overdoing exercise right after pumping a lot of energy through my body, but then I focus on what feels wonderful and the more I do that, the more everything else relaxes.

If my day gets crazy, I focus on what is already right with it and how I can bring love into the situations around me. They change as if by magic. Focus always on what you DO want to amplify and create on your life for your focus is nothing less than the light of God illuminating the path in front of you.

People ask me all the time how I started my "business". They want to know how I advertised and marketed myself, how I got to speak with big authors, and get on big radio shows. The answer is I didn't market myself. I barely advertised. Instead I loved talking to angels, grudgingly agreed to be out in public and took it upon myself to give the absolute most love and wisdom that I could find within to each client. I started this newsletter because I had more to share than I could share with one person at a time. In time I got really, really busy and to this day opportunities present themselves when God wants them. I have no intention to ever do anything the 'conventional' way. Its much easier and happier to find the love inside, bring it to the surface and trust God will do the rest.

Think about it - wouldn't you rather go to a loving mechanic than one who is sour? Wouldn't you rather go to the convenience store with the friendly clerks rather than the one with the grumpy staff. Don't you love to support people who are on fire with joy? I do. I think its true - its our job to love and share what's inside of us. The boss (God) and His wonderful helpers (the angels) can manage the rest and let me know what to do and when :) Focus on the light within you - what is good and true - amplify it, and share it, and you will feel heaven on earth.

Heaven and Earth

2009-03-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

I often feel I was put on this earth to help people realize that we are perfect and divine even in our so-called imperfection and humanity. I love God. I seek God inside myself at all times. Nothing else matters more to me. And yet I'm SO profoundly human. I get cranky, tired, off balance, sad, and sorry for myself at times. But if there is one thing the angels have taught me that sticks finally it is that we are always loved, always perfect in God's eyes, and always growing into something more. No matter what we are feeling, we are no less worthy of love. And if you know this, you can go through any emotion that arises with grace, knowing its just a phase and that you're just learning and growing into greater love.

There are times when I feel God's love so thoroughly inside of me that nothing else matters. Two weeks ago I had the priviledge of attending a session with Panach Desai, a man who transmits divine energy. The peace, love, compassion, and expansive Oneness I felt in his presence was bliss! "I-Ann" disappeared and "I Am" appeared in me and through me. I was touching people the week after and zapping their colds, transmitting God's peace and feeling on top of the world. One small glitch occurred when I forgot I live in a body this weekend and hiked ten miles after being a veritable couch potato all winter. It was lovely, and I was SO happy that I was sharing my secret canyons, nooks, and crannies with other hikers. However, my body reminded me very quickly that while my heart and mind were in heavenly bliss I couldn't ignore my humanity. Oops ! I was near crippled on Sunday!! Luckily epsom salts, rest, and meditation restored me to good humor, but it was a good lesson. My physical energy will not go without care as well.

I was reminded by the angels that I am "taking" the class I will be teaching with my good friend and spiritual instructor James Walker in two months! While brushing my teeth two weeks ago I heard loudly, "TEACH A CLASS CALLED HEAVEN AND EARTH." No missing that voice! So I called James and asked if he wanted to teach and upon getting the green light, called the Sedona Creative Life center and rented the room." Then the angels proceeded to share what we were teaching!! Talk about surrender and faith :)! We are going to share our understanding of how bringing God into every aspect of your life does indeed create a life of heaven on earth. James reminds me not to forget to bring God into my physical existence and I remind him not to forget to bring God into his emotional existence. We're currently getting the heavenly downloads on exercises and discussions and we're both in the 'boot camp' that instructors who "walk the walk" go through before teaching.

It is exciting because I haven't taught in over two years. I had to go through my couch potato phase, and my emotional purge these past few months to be ready to teach again and now I can't wait to share all I've learned. By then I think the angels will have convinced me not only to bring heaven into my mind and heart, finances, career, and relationships, but also to remember my body as well!!

So, no matter what emotions are coming up lately remember, they're all part of your unfolding understanding of God's love. If you're pissy, you're learning new boundaries and when you get comfortable with them you won't be upset so easily. If you're sad, let it out. If you're excited, breathe and ask for guided action. Its all God talking to you from the inside out and if you don't resist it, those emotions flooding you will carry you on the River of God's love straight into a more heavenly existence!

God is what I am seeking

2009-02-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

I spent the early years of my life seeking happiness externally. It was like chasing the proverbial carrot in front of the goat cart. I'll be happy when I get into college. I'll be happy when I graduate. I'll be happy when I get a job. I'll be happy when I quit my job. I'll be happy when I marry. I'll be happy after we separate. I'll be happy when I get a new place. I'll be happy when I get out of this place. And so on and so forth. It wasn't until I started to acknowledge the truth of God's love in my life that I started to experience a deep, true, and lasting happiness. I do get rocked out of it at times when I forget to make loving choices for myself. I do get stuck in illusions at times. But every night I pray for God to increase the experience of the Divine light within me and every morning I ask God's grace to fill me. God is what I seek.

That might not sound too practical until its 6:30pm after a full day of readings and I'm coming down off the high of sitting in angel energy, and feeling all the stuff in my body that I inadvertantly take on some days. I sit on the couch and ask to feel God's love and the energy comes in, floods my heart and helps me remember, that this is always there for me too. I've started getting back to my half hour of meditation every morning, just breathing into my spine and asking that love to fill me. I've started my tai chi again to feel the flow of that energy through my body. And all of the sudden once again, after a few months of forgetting what it feels like, I want for nothing. There are human desires, but if I never got a one of them and still felt this love I'd be happy anyway. It is true, that's all we want - to feel that intense, unconditional love of God. We have to give it to ourselves first.

As you know if you've been reading these emails, the last few months I've had a LOT of anger moving through me from the past. To be able to love yourself, even though you're a spiritual teacher, in the midst of your most un-holy moments, is paradoxically to remain more WHOLE-Y. God wants us to love ourselves no matter what. In doing so, we move through the so-called negativity. We give those parts of ourselves that forgot God, the love that they need to heal. If a child were screaming in pain around you would you say to him or her, "Go away! I can't stand your negativity!" Or would it not be more productive to pick the child up, hug and hold him or her and remind them they are loved. Next time you start to criticize part of yourself, think of that. Think of hugging and holding and loving the part of yourself that forgot. Imagine you can.

I was reminded of this in a beautiful workshop by Panach Desai this weekend. I asked his perspective on how to dig out old negativity and he mirrored back to me what I knew, but needed to simply persist in doing. This beautiful soul was an answer to my prayer to increase my awareness of myself as a Divine Being. He transmits divine energy and when he touches you or stands over you, you feel the love of God rise up inside of you as a sweet wave of energy and you remember who you really are. I can't even put words to the feeling I had as I was aware of my own soul's nature after the energetic transmissions. If you ever get a chance to see him, I can't say enough good about his work. (www.panachedesai.com). Likewise my friend Susan Palmer in Sedona transmits various aspects of the divine energy each month at a distance (www.spirithealerIam.com). And while you can find all these energies within self, I'm taking all the help I can get. The more I receive the more I can give, and the more I give the more I can receive.

Guided actions

2009-02-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

BOY do I know the lesson about taking guided action very well!! If I even ignore my heart for the slightest instant there can be dire consequences and if I listen, life flows smoothly. I was on the freeway with a friend a few weekends ago when a car in front of us started behaving strangely. Everything in me wanted to pull off the highway rather than trying to figure out what this car was going to do, so I did, just as they began to weave in and out of traffic, slowing and then speeding up. I knew the person in front of me was terribly drunk and that the energy that seeks to sabotage would have used them to really mess up my day. And so I sat on the side of the highway for a few minutes allowing this car to get a bit farther ahead of me. Eventually I was able to get back on the highway and pass them safely. The friend that was with me confirmed that the drive was draped over the wheel, barely awake. We said a prayer asking God to spare their life and the lives of those around them.

On several instances, listening to my feelings and the little voices in my head has kept me out of trouble. Once I was on the highway following a truck when a very calm voice said, "You might want to change lanes." I did so and avoided the tire that popped off the truck two seconds later and would have flown into my windshield. Another time I wanted to go make bank deposits but was too tired to do so, and found out later there was an armed robbery at the ATM that night. Still another time, I felt a huge urge to veer off the freeway and avoided being rear ended. SO many times, listening to my guidance has saved me from big trouble.

Regarding the difference between laziness and surrender, I get asked about that a lot. The world might say I've been "lazier than usual" the last two years. I have continued to see regular clients and answered hundreds of emails a week, but haven't taught or wrote a thing since 2007. I've spent a lot of time resting in fact just to keep my energy up for the work I am doing. Couch potato and TV watching time isn't something the world values very much, but I needed the rest. And, as always happens, after a time of rest - when you really surrender and really DO rest - the inspiration and desire for activity resumes. All of the sudden, I had the desire to drag myself out of of bed early and do tai chi. All of the sudden the inspiration to teach is coming back! Stay tuned!

God DOES love us. God wants us to know His LOVE. This love is available all the time, no matter what the outside circumstances. To choose to invite God into your life, to guide your actions and words, and to receive this love means we do have to learn faith, patience, and trust. It means we have to rest when we're tired and trust that inspiration will return. Feelings might come up when you're resting that are the very blocks to what you want to achieve. BE with them, send them love, and heal them. God knows what he's doing during your periods of "time out!"

If you invite God into your life it means you have to get up and act when guided to do so. If you wake up with the urge to clean your house, get up and do it. If you have the urge to call a friend, stop second guessing yourself and do it. If you have the urge to rest, stop pushing yourself and do it. If you feel like accepting an invitation, do it; if not don't. You don't need to figure out why you have the inspiration to do or not do something. You simply have to accept that if you invite God to guide you He will and you won't miss the signals.

This is a new way to live. It is a way that honors the heart and uses the mind as a tool rather than allowing it to be master. It is a life in which the divine masculine and divine feminine energies work in a beautiful marriage within us creating balance and greater ease. It is a life filled with grace.

You are loved!

2009-02-14T11:16:00.000-07:00

I hope you are having a happy valentine's day and if no one is giving you chocolate and flowers, that you are choosing to do something that honors the bright and beautiful spirit that you are! I planted my own roses, buy my own chocolates, and give thanks for the love of God. As the angels say, "Why wait to feel God's love?" It is here now, all over the place, waiting to be taken in and received with gratitude.

If the angels have taught me one thing over the years that has stuck, it is that God loves us - no matter what. When I am singing praises for the wonder and glory of creation or whether I'm ranting and whining God loves me. When I'm being nice or when I'm being cranky God loves me. And God loves you too - always and forever, and no matter what is going on in your heart, your mind, and your life. As they said above, the question is never, "Does God love you," but rather, "how much are you willing to receive this love?"

I forget to sit still and receive at times. I get busy. I try to solve my own problems and forget to ask God for help at times, and yet more and more as the years pass, I take the time to sit and receive. I take the time to ask God for help solving problems great and small. I take the time to let myself feel whatever comes up inside of me and know that I am no less loved because of it. This type of love makes me feel as if I have an eternal companion in God and truly we all do. I go to God to celebrate, and I go to God for comfort. I talk to God as my best friend. And my angels are with me as well, whether I feel them or not. They are with you too - in the dark and the light times of your lives. They care about you.

The question is not about whether God or the angels love and care about us. It is more appropriate to ask ourselves how much we truly care about our own hearts.

Its ok to ask for help and love even in the little things, because truly, our lives are largely comprised of the little things that add up to either make a grand life or a mediocre life. "Do you like the soap you use," asks Alexandra Stoddard, an author whose book, "Daring to be Yourself" affected me deeply years ago when I was learning what it meant to even BE me. I try to make sure I ask for the best in all the little moments of my life, and I know God does care.

Take last weekend. I wanted to take a road trip with a friend, a small thing really, but the skies were cloudy and it poured rain all the night before. More rain was in the forecast. But rather than giving up, I prayed. "God I'd like to take this drive but if you don't want me to go make it obvious. If you think we'd have fun and the weather can take a breather, make it obvious." Within half an hour the rain started to clear. I called my friend and we embarked on our journey a little later than planned, but with peaceful hearts knowing God had given us the green light to enjoy our day. We drove under one rather wicked squall and then out from under the ominous clouds, into the light. The pitch black sky in the rear view mirror looked like something out of the movie "Twister." It was an interesting metaphor. When we set our sights on God's love and trust that He cares - we leave the darkness of our own illusions behind and move into the light of truth.

That does not mean we always get our way. Had it rained, I would have surrendered to a different type of love - a restful day at home and whatever magical surprises that might have brought. We have to assume that if our prayers are not immediately answered, God simply has better plans or better timing than we might come up with.

We are all loved beyond our capacity to comprehend. We can touch upon this love and feel it in deep silence. We can witness it in the magnificence of the skies, or the beauty of a sunset. I can see it in my dogs' eyes and a child's smile. You can feel it in yourself when your heart wants to reach out to another from a place of joy, compassion, and inspiration. God's love includes you, your life, your cares, your concerns. As we leave behind the illusion that we are not loved and embrace the truth that we are, we start to be more loving to ourselves. We start to take our own dreams more seriously. We start to realize we are nothing less than co-creators of our own lives. And it feels really good.

Volcanoes and vents

2009-02-07T11:15:00.000-07:00

Years ago I had the incredible priviledge of flying over a venting volcano in Hawaii. To see the glowing red hot earth emerging, steaming, bubbling, crackling, and hardening into the newest land on the planet was awe inspiring. (see picture) I think I understandhow the angels view us when we bring our depths up to the surface, no matter how much sputtering is involved!

Its been an intense couple of months for many people I know. I'm in a growth spurt to say the least. This one started when an ex boyfriend decided to give me a full on kiss on the lips while his wife, who I like and respect, stood by. The energy was all wrong and it felt totally inappropriate. It caught me by surprise. And it unleashed a torrent of upset I've harbored at myself over the years for putting up with beahviors that I know all to well aren't ok with me.

I've been remarkably forgiving - to a fault the angels told me. I didn't know that was possible. After a man I didn't want to date cussed me out in front of my engineering friends, when I was in my thirties, I wrote him a letter telling him I was sorry I'd triggered his anger. After a man cheated on me with multiple partners and dumped me, I wrote him a letter forgiving him and blessing him for the good times. I let this one particular former boyfriend yell at me and blame all his problems on me when we were together and tried to reason with him, often helping him through particularly painful childhood issues that came up. I even let him rent a room from me after he broke up so he could have time to get back on his financial feet. And I never felt ok being upset for long... I WAS upset, don't get me wrong, but I worked hard to put that aside and forgive, because I feel other people's feelings as if they are my own. I can see where their pain comes from, and have great compassion. But I forgot to have compassion for myself. "I'm strong" I would reason. "I can take it and help them." And I did help them... but in the words of my angels, "You sure messed yourself up!" The angels have been on my case to let some old pieces of my soul have a holy hissy fit about putting up with all this. And God bless this one particular soul, becuase it is his holy gift to poke the areas of my spirit that need to rise up and be more powerful.

I went home and wrote some of the most unholy rants in my journal. And still the angels prodded me to vent more. "Its about time," they told me. "Its about time you saw clearly that you want to be treated more kindly." "Its about time you stopped putting up with things you know are not right and that you don't want in your life." "Its about time you stopped making excuses for others and pretending that things were ok when they are not."

Pretty soon I was venting about every nonsensical thing I've ever put up with in my life. This gave rise to an authentic part of me that wants to be treated with only kindness, respect, dignity, and grace. It is the part of my soul that knows exactly what is ok in my life and what is not. And the anger was simply a force that came up to push me into this new understanding, that we all know but rarely practice - that we MUST give our own knowing the benefit of the doubt before we allow others to bully, manipulate, shame, or scare us into doing what they want. "Whose life are you living Ann?" the angels have often asked me. Now it's mine :) And of course, from that new clear, centered standpoint, I am able to give more authenically than ever before. It feels good.

I've seen a lot of people going through these outbursts lately. It seems so many people who care about everyone else are starting to take their own goals, dreams, and desires more seriously as well. God is really causing the fire of our soul that lies within our depths to come to the surface. God wants us to follow HIS plan for our lives, not the one we were programmed to think we should. And not coincidentally the volcanoes are venting and steaming and blowing as well. One in Japan blew earlier this week, and as I write this one in Alaska is threatening to blow. Its time that what is inside comes up and is reflected on the outside in our lives.

Once the truth comes to the surface we don't need the anger because we no longer feel guilty doing what we know is right and healthy for ourselves. I had a good laugh over this incident once I finally saw what it was - an opportunity to speak more clearly, be more clear, and avoid things I didn't want to experience. I've had a few tests since to see if I'm going to honor my heart and my knowing or not, and thankfully I've passed. Clarity is a beautiful thing :)

Maybe, just maybe, if we let enough of the pressures out of our own souls, in a healthy way, then volcanoes won't have to blow so hard:) If you're one of the lightworkers that has been steaming, take a sauna in it - vent the old upsets in a journal and let the energy purify your soul... and if you're done with all that, enjoy the calm clarity!

Impeccable honesty

2009-01-31T11:14:00.000-07:00

The angels have been talking to me a lot lately about being clear about what I want and what I don't want, from the simplest to the biggest things in my life. I get really happy, it seems, then mess up the joy by making choices that aren't 100% consistent with my heart and soul. I'm sure you've seen me on this roller coaster if you've read the newsletter for any length of time! This year I want to stay in that happy and live in an impeccably honest state of being. Being human, its a worthy goal :)

Last weekend I woke up feeling out of sorts. I had been scheduled to attend a seminar that I was truly interested in. I was excited about it all week. But when I woke up that morning the angels said, "Be honest!" I looked out the window. It was a beautiful day and I had declined an invitation from a dear friend to attend an outdoor event that sounded like a lot of fun. Logic argued. "You really should go the seminar Ann. It would help you in your business and finances, etc..." Old voices of old notions of responsiblity echoed loudly. But I hadn't done anything with this friend in awhile and I missed her, so I cancelled my participation in the seminar, and spent the day outdoors in the beautiful weather. Immediately the cloud over my mood lifted. When we truly listen to our hearts in the moment, we are happy! When we ignore them we are not. Truth only occurs in the moment - had it rained as it had earlier in the week, the seminar would have been the right option.

Either we want to do something or we do not. Either we want to pay the bills or skip going to work that day. Either we want to be with a person as they are or we don't. Its hard to get out of wishful thinking and denial at times. Its hard to accept the choices right in front of us at times, and yet when we surrender to making the best choice given all the facts that are right in front of us we free up our energy to truly acknowledge and pray for the changes we want to see in the future. If we live in denial and frustration about what is right in front of us, that wastes the energy we can be using to raise our energy and manifest what we REALLY want.

In talking to a dear client earlier in the week the angels explained it was ok to have more conventional job for security while working for a dream job on the side. It is ok to pay the bills in a job you don't care for much while working and praying for one you do. Its ok to be in a decent relationship if you need the companionship while praying for a transition to one that you really want, as long as you are honest with all involved.

God DOES come up with some really awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping solutions to the problems people pray for. A dear client was about to foreclose and the angels kept saying, "No keep the faith." On the day she was supposed to foreclose, they kept saying she would not. I was having my own doubts! Wouldn't you know it, the bank was processing too many foreclosures and at the 11th hour gave this wonderful woman a 90 day extension during which time she sold the house! Now that is a "God solution" vs. a man made one! Personally I like the heavenly solutions better than the ones my brain cooks up!

The trick is to deal with what is in front of you best you can, be honest about all that you want in the moment and in the future, then intend and be ready to receive the miracles!

Feels better to love!

2009-01-24T11:13:00.000-07:00

After last week's message I want to reassure everyone that the dogs are fine and so am I. The dogs were over their little tiff far before I was! The angels told me years ago that my female dog is my teacher of annoyance. She is sweet and playful sometimes and cranky and pouty at others. Sometimes she smiles and at other times she glares as if I am the worst thing that ever happened to her. The angels said she is prone to jealousy, moody, and wants things her way at times, and yet at others she is the most loving and sweet little girl. She teaches me to love more.

Its easy to love when she's being sweet and kind. Its not so easy to love when she glares at me, pouts, or does something awful like biting my other dog last week. And yet the heavens task me with the job of getting over MY upset and realizing that the only way to truly heal anything is to love. And so I go off in MY corner when I get upset, and vent in my journal, breathe deeply and ask the angels for calm, and finally realize the truth is that I DO love her, and I love everyone so much I want everyone to get along. I was so angry this time that I wasn't sure if I could find the love in my heart for this difficult dog one more time. And yet I prayed, and asked God to heal both of us and the relationship in between us. It worked. Prayers like that always work if they are sincere. There is peace again.

Regarding angry spirits that come around every now and then - I had a lot of people write in and ask me about that. The truth is, in both the human and the spirit world, there are loving souls and upset souls. There are angels in th heavens, and lost souls who wander the earth. And the ultimate truth is that like attracts like so when I'm worn out and cranky I will attract tired and cranky souls. And while the angels COULD protect me from them, they made it clear to me years ago that the growth I wanted this lifetime is to truly realize the oneness of creation - to totally immerse myself in the truth of God's love and realize there is nothing to fear, except, as JFK said, fear itself.

The angels remind me that the true "enemies" are fear and ignorance, and lack of awareness of God's love. When we exist in love nothing can get us, not even the demons who forget God's love. So I must strive always to keep my energy flowing, my love growing, and my sights set on God. When I do not, I am open to attack, and that is part of the path I chose to walk this lifetime - to remain in the light or become aware very quickly that I am not there. Early on in my psychic career the angels gave me an exercise to sit quietly in a dark room and invite the demons in - to let them touch me and to feel their fear and anger.. and then to set my focus on God's light. The second I had total focus on God's light it was like switching channels on television - there was nothing but love. I didn't have to do this exercise, but I'm glad I did. It imprinted a powerful truth in me. In God's love we are safe. In God's love we are comforted. In God's love we are totally taken care of.

And so it is every moment of my waking life. This ability to reach for and feel God's love is what enables me to look past the anger and sadness and terrible life situations that my clients endure, and to love them no matter what. This is what allows me to get over my own upsets and find love again - because that is the truth of who we are and in the space of being a loving being, you cannot feel anything else. This is what allows me to love myself even when I'm being profoundly ungraceful and human. "Though I walk in the valley of the shadow of darkness, I shall fear no evil" becomes reality. I am not there all the time. I'm still human, still learning, still growing. But this is what I strive for.

It sure feels better to love!

Give God an inch...

2009-01-17T11:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I have big dreams. Othertimes, my heart's desires are far more mundane. Last weekend, I wanted peace. I came home from running errands to find my male dog covered in blood in several areas. My female dog looked happy and playful and I was at a loss to figure out what had occurred. My neighbor filled me in. She heard a fracas and looked over the fence to see the female ripping into my sweet and gentle male dog who was apparently cowering in the corner while he got beat up. I lost it. I cried my heart out and couldn't even look at the guilty little girl without bursting into tears. I fed her and took care of her but was so upset and sad I couldn't even say much to her. I told her I was mad and we'd work it out later. I told her biting was unacceptable. She may be a dog, but she understands every word I say. In spite of my feelings, I was careful not to take out the anger at her, so she just pouted while I cried.

I prayed my heart out to find peace again, and of course the angels always support that sincere intent. They came in droves and calmed my heart and finally I got up, hugged the little angry dog, and told her we'd move beyond this. At that moment of finding love again, I felt great. Two seconds later a wreath in my house came flying off the wall. That did it. I have had some upset spirit hanging around in my spare time since Christmas morning that I haven't been able to get rid of or send into the light. He or she wouldn't reveal themselves honestly. As always, they stay away during client sessions because the angels stand guard during those. But in my spare time, I have to deal with my own energetic lack of boundaries that occurs when I don't keep my vibration high. Its part of my training - my ongoing quest to be love so I attract only love. Instead, of remembering my lessons, I melted into a puddle of tears feeling totally sorry for myself. "Waaa, normal people don't have to deal with spirits bombarding them with ugly energy during their Christmas vacation. Waaaa. I know I shouldn't have tired myself out before the holidays and opened up to this. Waaaaa. When will it go away God. Michaaaaael. Help." I always call on Archangel Michael when I've got myself in a mess. "Help me get back in TRUTH now," I pleaded. I feel good - no matter what - when I stand in spiritual truth that all is simply love and lessons. "Help me find my light again now!"

Michael always bails me out of my own mental messes when I ask him to help me make the changes inside of myself. "Look at all the beauty around you," he said. "The woman who lives here puts care and love into everything she does," he said, referring to me. I stopped snifflng and looked around the house. I looked at the ornaments on the tree that I had made years ago, remembered painting the walls with great love, saw myself elated at the thrift store finds that made my house a home, and marvelled at the fact that I had once been so determined to have slipcovers that I figured out how to make them myself. At the angel's urging, I sat and contemplated the countless hours of love I’d put into each item in my home to make it beautiful. And I thought about all the love I shared with others in this home. I looked at the Christmas tree that was still up, and saw ornaments given to my by friends that loved me and I remembered - finally remembered - what it felt like again to know the truth of my own soul. I felt my own heart. I felt the beauty of my own soul. And slowly, I walked around the house getting reacquainted not only with my stuff but with me, the woman who took the time to save, to remodel, to refinish, recover, and make over so much to make this house a home - not just for me, but for friends, family, and clients. And I felt peace in my heart and the spirit of Christmas once again. For this is the true meaning of Christmas, to bring the light of truth and the light of God's love into the darkened spaces of our own hearts, and into the humblest areas of our own lives. And even though Christmas has come and gone, and the new year is here, I want to keep that spirit of light alive inside my heart no matter what - whether I feel good or not, whether my furry kids are behaving or not, whether the bills are paid on time or go on credit - I want this year to reamain steadfast in God's love and truth. Its a worthy goal, not easily achieved, but worth trying for every minute of our lives.

In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, God is there for us, with us, and in us. We only have to give ourselves a little love to tap into the amazing flow of the creator's love. We only have to give ourselves a little respect to feel His great respect for His own creation. We only have to be thankful for the abundance in our own hearts to tap into a greater flow of abaundance.

So when you're tired, down, not feeling like yourself, sit and find things to appreciate about yourself. Give God an inch of opporunity to love you, and He'll take over your heart once again. It feels good to know we are never lost. Love is only one good thought away.

Look for the light

2009-01-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

As you know from the last newsletter, I was pooped over my vacation, but didn't want to focus on being tired, or whining because a cold was trying to get me. Instead I sat there, and sent all my love to that cold bug and thanked it for reminding me to rest before I came down with it! In doing so it went away and I did not get sick. I got tired, but not sick! Tired is ok - sick and tired isn't much fun as we all know.

Anyway, it is a year when the angels have already been on my case in their loving and positive way to focus on every little thing I DO want. If I stub my toe, they want me to focus on it feeling better. If I am hungry, they want me to focus on how good it will feel to have a warm meal. If I have to bathe my 90 and 70lb dogs every two to three days in the bathtub (which is the reality right now due to some unwelcome parasites), they want me to focus on how much I love my dogs - rather than 8 towels, one bathroom cleaning, and two loads of wash, not to mention dragging my darlings into the tub :)!!!

Its not the year to whine, complain, or focus on negativity. They keep showing me an image of a surfer poised and waiting for a wave. If he knows where he wants to go, he'll be ready when the energy hits and sail into shore. If he's busy whining to his neighbor about not having any movement, the next wave that hits plows him under. Life is like that. If we focus on what we WANT, rather than what we don't - we get that so much more easily.

This cause and effect is partially metaphysical - energy goes where attention flows, but its also common sense - if you are focused on what you do want, you notice opportunities more easily or recognize them when they come up. You feel better and more positive and attract more helpful people as a result. People are drawn to positive individuals and run away from complainers. When I'm whiny - even if its on the inside - people avoid me!! When I'm positive, even if I don't feel well, people open doors for me at supermarkets! We radiate the mood we're in.

I'll never forget the day I was on crutches, exhausted, achy, and kind of down. I reminded myself of all my blessings and focused on what it would feel like to just receive a hug. The greeter at the supermarket smiled and said, hello, and I smiled back. "How you doing?" he asked. "Ok, all things considered," I said, then added honestly, "but really tired." He looked at me, and out of the blue said, "You need a hug!" And so even in that moment of being down, looking for the bright future laid it out on my path.

Integrity, flow, and balance

2009-01-04T11:09:00.000-07:00

Like many of you I'm excited about 2009 - not necessarily because the outer circumstances will be immediately easier, but more so because the changes being inspired in human hearts are why we decided to come to earth to begin with. Its time we walk in faith. Its time we choose love. Its time we trust that God cares about all of us. And most of all its time we all listen to our hearts so we can live the magic and the wonder God intended for us.

When I asked the angels to comment on 2009 - they said Integrity, and Flow, and for me added a reminder to stay in balance :)

Integrity is above and beyond honesty - it means being in alignment with your own spirit. If I say "yes" when I mean "no" I am out of integrity. If I don't feed my body what IT wants I'm out of integrity. Being in integrity means living with impeccable honesty with yourself. It means listening to the needs of your body, mind, and spirit, and trust they know what they're doing - rest when tired, eat when hungry, get some recreation periodically, and spend a few minutes a day at least connecting to God through prayer, meditaiton, or some other practice.

Flow is my best friend. I ask for what I want and I give away things I'm done with. I receive when I want what is offered and give when my heart feels the joy of giving. I take the time in stillness, prayer and meditation to receive God's love so I can share more with the world. I have to live in integrity to know truly when I want to receive and to give. When I do, I feel God flowing through my heart and my life.

This is easy to say but hard to do! The Tuesday before Christmas I was ecstatic about being on vacation. I had great clients and when 6:30 came up I was SO excited to have some time off. That's when I got the call from Coast to Coast radio inviting me to be a guest on the show that night. I was totally tired, handn't eaten, and had been planning to wrap gifts and bake for the company I had coming over the next day. By all rights I should have declined. But it was such an honor, and only an hour, and oh all those old voices came pouring through - "Just do it. Everyone needs inspiration this year. They really want you to be on it. The producer is nice. George is a great guy. Its only an hour... " etc. And so I said yes, when my body was screaming at me, "not tonight." The show turned out great, but as always happens when I open up to an audience of any type, my body feels intense energy flowing through it and out to all those to whom I'll be speaking. The best I can describe the sensation is like feeling of fire hose running water up my spine and making me feel extremely dizzy!! To make a long story short, the show went well but my body was thrashed because I hadn't prepared for this as I usually do. And being so tired opened me up to feel all sorts of draining spirits on my vacation!

I know better than to not listen to myself, but even with the angels coaching me all day, every day, I sometimes forget. I know it all comes to good anyway and I got to meet many of you reading this, but I also know the more I listen to my own body, mind, and heart, the easier and more energy I have to help others. The angels, being angels, worked hard to cheer me up when I was feeling worn out and fighting a cold a few days into vacation. They woke me up early one morning and told me there was a great sale at a specific craft store - and while you might not think material stuff would be important to angels, they knew I'd sit still crafting if I got some inexpensive pretty paper. And while I was sitting still, happily making greeting cards, I remembered to stop beating myself up for ruining my own vacation by ignoring my body. No surprise to the angels, the vacation was redeemed somewhat and I learned my lesson ... again :)

So this year I commit along with you to try to listen to my heart more consistently, to be in better balance, to embrace new levels of integrity, and to celebrate the flow of God into my life and out to all of you!

Happy New Year

2008-12-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

I hope you all had a very happy holiday and got a little rest. I know many of you are feeling restless to get on with life. In 2008 the words I heard most often from people are, "I feel stuck. I feel without direction. I feel exhausted." These comments came in from thousands of people this year. It was indeed a year of going within. It was a year of clearing out the past, learning greater faith, and conserving our energies. I have had years of experience learning to just 'be' with the moment and although I'm by no means perfect at it, it sure made this year easier. I just didn't feel like writing or teaching much so I didn't write and I didn't teach. Instead I worked full time with clients, cleaned out the house, did home repairs, and focused on my spirit. I didn't worry about "producing" or "moving forward." I focused more on enjoying each moment and remaining true to the guidance in my heart.

Sometimes you have to trust that even when you think you are getting "nowhere" the inner work you are doing is preparing you to accomplish things in the future in a much easier manner. The angels say, "When you're on a raft in the river, you're not paddling, but you're still moving."

An orange tree sits in my backyard. Every other year it has a huge crop of fruit and there there are years when it produces very little. This was one of the 'off' years. All summer I didn't see a single orange on the tree and didn't expect any fruit. However, as the seasons changed, all of the sudden several of the fruit started to turn bright and all of the sudden I could see I'd have a small crop after all. The fruit was there all along. It just wasn't ripe and I couldn't see it. Life is like that. We do a lot of growing some seasons without seeing results, and then all of the sudden God jumps in your life and everything moves in the direction you were hoping for. The harvest has been growing all along, but you just didn't see it till now. Trust, that if you have been working hard on your spirit, doing what you know to do in life, and resting when tired, then God will bring you the harvest that you have been preparing for all along as well. Be it a job, a relationship, a more meaningful life, if you do the inner work, the outer will adjust.

I look back and feel like I've learned a lot this year. I learned to have greater faith in God's ability to take care of me. I learned to live in balance and take better care of my physical body, and I learned how to love even those that hate me. That was perhaps the thing I've prayed for the most. Its easy to love the people that love you. But when that angry spirit beat me up in May and scared me to pieces, it took a lot of anger and tears before I could turn to love. We have to love ourselves first under all circumstances - there is no compromising on that one. I had to love myself through the anger and pain to find the deeper truth within - that I want all souls to know there is a kind and loving way to live. And it was when I had THAT discussion with the angry soul that he went into the light. I told him how mad I was and how frustrated and how all I wanted was to live in peace and to have him know the true and wonderful nature of his soul. I felt love for his wounded soul and in that moment of me seeing him differently, he saw himself differently and went into the light. He is now a dear friend and spirit guide to me. Doing the inner work led to a profound change in my outer world. I have a whole new level of energetic boundaries, based on love - for myself and others. I feel only love from the spirit world now and there is no longer any mischief.

I've never been happier. I want to choose love because being upset feels bad. I want to choose balance because I function more efficiently. I'm not forcing myself to do anything I do not feel like doing. It's still fairly new for me to live this way, but I love it.

I can't wait to see wha 2009 brings. I feel a lot of change coming. I'm calling it the year of FLOW because I believe we will want to give and receive as never before. We will want to allow God's love to flow into our lives in many forms and then out into the world as an act of grace and sharing. It might not be an easy time for the world, but if you rest in faith and in the understanding that you are loved, you can indeed walk in grace.